So Wednesday night is officially the night to hold off on getting drunk on hump day specials and watch the Real World New Orleans on MTV at 10pm.
After Real World DC, I didn't think I would ever put myself through that show again. It seems like the RW is amazing every other season. This season will be amazing. RW DC sucked, RW Cancun was hot, RW Brooklyn would have Biggie turning in his grave. RW Hollywood was like amazing, and the one before that probably should have stayed home, but I can't even remember because that's how unimportant it was to my life. The point is, you know those commercials that tell you to get up and stay active during the summer? Well don't do it at 10pm on Wednesday nights.
So far I know this about this season's cast:
Jemmye (or however you spell is) is like a work of art, it's pretty from a far, but once you get in that confessional and see that face up close, it's a big old mess. But she's cool with cool clothes. I guess you can't wear a skirt without asking to get raped, right Ryan?
Ryan is my least favorite cast member. He tries to act like he's doing everyone a favor by getting in their business and stealing Mckenzie's beer, but he's not. And just because you like a girl doesn't mean that she can't associate with any other guy. And at the gay bar, what did you expect when you flirt with a man and let him buy you a drink? He's going to want to get frisky. Does that mean that every time a gay person touches you, you have to feel like killing yourself? Maybe the GAY BAR YOU CHOSE TO GO TO WASN'T A GOOD IDEA THEN. And when somebody tells you to give them some space, get out of their face. One second he's so sensative and mad at Knight for not wanting to hug him, and the next he's in everyone's face.
As for the other gay guy in the house (because like it or not Ryan's a total flamer) Preston is amazing. I love him he's so flamboyant. He reminds me of my gay high school friend.
Angelina Jolie lips is the hottest girl in the casa! There must be some sort of ethnic in her, I mean she can't be all white.
Mckenzie, I mean was she joining the Real World or going to a funeral? Her appearance was atrocious. She knew she was going to be on TV and that's what she thought she should wear? And what was with her hair? But previews show her to look more decent so let's hope she keeps that look.
Eric's hot!!!! Enough said.
Knight's not. He seems like the frat kind of guy. But he and that trailer trash would make a good couple.
.....
O and I almost forgot about Sahar or whatever the Muslim girl's name is. And that's because she's BORING. She'd be more interesting in one of those things that cover up their entire body. Because at least then I would notice her.
Time to start getting real!!!
-B.S.
By the way, the Jersey Shore preview that aired right after the Real World was amazing!! First Angelina's back? And she sleeps with Vinny? After Snooki did? And they fight? And then Sammy and Ronnie broke up!! But now their living together again. But then they get back together? But not really because it looks like Ronnie's cheating. And Sammy and J Wow get into it? J Wow definately knocked her out! OOO and I love the Mike Vinny Pauly MVP nick name. Aw Vinny's all grown up!!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I Don't Like Kids, I Didn't Even Like Myself Until I Was 14
Why does everyone love kids? Kids are not cute, they are not fun, they are not worth gaining 50lbs over!! Kids suck the life out of you until you have nothing left, and then when their old enough to take care of themselves they start doing drugs and drinking in the house and become a whole other different type of a nuisance. And even when their out of the house your still paying for their school, and helping them get a car and even a house one day. When does your life become yours again when you have kids? NEVER!!
I understand that some people are meant to be parents. Some people only have one purpose in life, and if they want to waste it on having kids then who am I to stop them. But other people must accept the fact that they are not meant to procreate. For example, Britney Spears should have gotten divorced before having kids with that trailer trash Federline, Mr. Bin Ladin should have thought twice before letting Mrs. Bin Ladin take off that turban dress thing. And Mr. and Mrs. Hitler should have just kept it in their pants.
Kids do nothing but interrupt peoples lives, no matter what point of your life your in. They interrupt your education, your career, your night life. I mean look at that dumb ass Kourtney Kardashian. Now she's stuck with a sociopath boyfriend (I believe you Khloe) and a kid, she has to drive a mini van, she can't even get drunk on a yacht without having a panic attack because there's alcohol in her breast milk and Mason might die if he has to drink formula! This is what having a kid does to people, you forget about the fun stuff like dancing and partying and you replace it with dumb stuff like going to the zoo at the crack of dawn when you're hung over with an infant who not only doesn't know where he is, but won't remember in the future anyway.
And if that doesn't stop you from getting pregnant, remember if you have kids their no guarantee that it will be as beautiful and perfect as me, are you willing to take that chance?
-B.S.
I understand that some people are meant to be parents. Some people only have one purpose in life, and if they want to waste it on having kids then who am I to stop them. But other people must accept the fact that they are not meant to procreate. For example, Britney Spears should have gotten divorced before having kids with that trailer trash Federline, Mr. Bin Ladin should have thought twice before letting Mrs. Bin Ladin take off that turban dress thing. And Mr. and Mrs. Hitler should have just kept it in their pants.
Kids do nothing but interrupt peoples lives, no matter what point of your life your in. They interrupt your education, your career, your night life. I mean look at that dumb ass Kourtney Kardashian. Now she's stuck with a sociopath boyfriend (I believe you Khloe) and a kid, she has to drive a mini van, she can't even get drunk on a yacht without having a panic attack because there's alcohol in her breast milk and Mason might die if he has to drink formula! This is what having a kid does to people, you forget about the fun stuff like dancing and partying and you replace it with dumb stuff like going to the zoo at the crack of dawn when you're hung over with an infant who not only doesn't know where he is, but won't remember in the future anyway.
And if that doesn't stop you from getting pregnant, remember if you have kids their no guarantee that it will be as beautiful and perfect as me, are you willing to take that chance?
-B.S.
How Much is TOO Much
Making love is a beautiful expression between two people that celebrates the love they have for each other. You can never do that too often.
Sex, on the other hand, is a different sort of expression between as many people (or things) as it takes to celebrate the lust one has. How much of that can you do without being a slut.
Obviously I'm just talking about the ladies, because we all know men can get three strippers pregnant while dating a high school student that he keeps secret from his wife and he's "the man." Sorry ladies, this world has double standard written all over it (be glad we're in America and not some muslim country where I could get stoned just for saying this sort of stuff) we can't change it all you can do is acknowledge it, realize it's bullshit and ignore it.
So the question now is, how much sex is too much sex? I'm not even really talking about sex involving more than one person. For example, if someone has the need to sexually relieve themselves at least twice a day, is that too much? If someone has to use their pink rhinestone vibrating and rotating vibrator every day of the week and have real sex approximately four times a week is that too much? What if a woman needs it so bad that she can't even hang out with another guy without getting horny and having sex? When do you cross the line from willing to needing? When is it just having fun and when is it being a sex addict?
When one finds oneself masturbating in the wash room of their grandparents basement while the entire family is home, should one see a therapist? Because I need to know if I have a problem!!
-B.S.
Sex, on the other hand, is a different sort of expression between as many people (or things) as it takes to celebrate the lust one has. How much of that can you do without being a slut.
Obviously I'm just talking about the ladies, because we all know men can get three strippers pregnant while dating a high school student that he keeps secret from his wife and he's "the man." Sorry ladies, this world has double standard written all over it (be glad we're in America and not some muslim country where I could get stoned just for saying this sort of stuff) we can't change it all you can do is acknowledge it, realize it's bullshit and ignore it.
So the question now is, how much sex is too much sex? I'm not even really talking about sex involving more than one person. For example, if someone has the need to sexually relieve themselves at least twice a day, is that too much? If someone has to use their pink rhinestone vibrating and rotating vibrator every day of the week and have real sex approximately four times a week is that too much? What if a woman needs it so bad that she can't even hang out with another guy without getting horny and having sex? When do you cross the line from willing to needing? When is it just having fun and when is it being a sex addict?
When one finds oneself masturbating in the wash room of their grandparents basement while the entire family is home, should one see a therapist? Because I need to know if I have a problem!!
-B.S.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Just a Reminder
In light of a bbm message I just received of a video clip of Chris Brown doing a tribute performance to Michael Jackson , I completely and totally understand that the performance was unbelievable and it was in memory of the late Michael Jackson, but many people are saying that this is a much needed comeback for Chris Breezy. Remember that the guy you were all clapping for last night did this.
. Remember that his amazing dance moves come equip with a fierce right hook. Remember that while beautiful sounds come from his mouth he uses his fists to punch women in there mouths. Remember that even if Rihanna hit him, a man would have walked away. And even if he had to protect himself from a woman who is half his size, I don't think hitting her repeatedly in the face constitutes as reasonable force. When your watching the Chris Brown performance on DVR or reruns or youtube and your thinking "wow what a talented artist, he's amazing I'm so glad he's back making music again," remember that while he is an outstanding artist, he is a pathetic excuse for a man.
-B.S.
ps..While writing this I received another bbm from a close friend of mine (whose name I will not divulge in case he would rather be left anonymous) stating that I was a moron for trying to over shadow the tribute that was about Michael Jackson, not Chris Brown. I understood that, it's everyone else who doesn't. I wasn't the one sending mass texts about how Chris Brown is officially back because of this performance. In fact, I haven't heard one word about Michael Jackson in the critiques of this performance. For the millionth time it was a great performance. That doesn't change the fact that Chris Brown is who he is. If BET didn't want controversy they wouldn't have picked Chris Brown of all people to do a tribute. This is the first amendment at it's best. My friend has every right to tell me how he feels, and that is exactly why I created this blog. Because now I can finally say how I feel about everything. I have to censer myself everywhere I go (or at least I should) My blog is the one place I can be honest and if you don't like it and if you wanna leave, be my guest....or I guess don't be my guest and peace out. No snot out of my nose.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Don't Be Afraid to Hate
Hate is a really strong word. So is the word terrorist and that doesn't stop our government from throwing that word around every time some white kid dies.
It is okay to hate people, places or things. Hate is an extremely common emotion and by holding your emotions in you just become bitter and just unpleasant to be around.
Studies (Yea I really didn't do any studies, but do you really think everyone who writes 'studies show' really took polls and interviews and such? Don't be so naive. I'm just trying to sound professional.) show that people who let their hatred out live happier and healthier lives. People say it takes too much energy to hate. I think it takes too much energy not to hate. It takes too much energy to pretend to like someone. Fake smiles use more muscles than genuine smiles. The mindless chit chat you have to have with someone you don't like takes way more energy than simply saying "Hey, I hate you. Maybe you didn't do anything to me, but just who you are really rubs me the wrong way." How can anybody be angry with the truth? And even if that person does go home and cry and see a therapist twice a week for six months, at least that person will stop contacting, talking, and even looking at you. One small conversation/comment can help you escape the torturous land of fakeness.
-B.S.
PS. I hate you. Ahhh I sure feel better.
It is okay to hate people, places or things. Hate is an extremely common emotion and by holding your emotions in you just become bitter and just unpleasant to be around.
Studies (Yea I really didn't do any studies, but do you really think everyone who writes 'studies show' really took polls and interviews and such? Don't be so naive. I'm just trying to sound professional.) show that people who let their hatred out live happier and healthier lives. People say it takes too much energy to hate. I think it takes too much energy not to hate. It takes too much energy to pretend to like someone. Fake smiles use more muscles than genuine smiles. The mindless chit chat you have to have with someone you don't like takes way more energy than simply saying "Hey, I hate you. Maybe you didn't do anything to me, but just who you are really rubs me the wrong way." How can anybody be angry with the truth? And even if that person does go home and cry and see a therapist twice a week for six months, at least that person will stop contacting, talking, and even looking at you. One small conversation/comment can help you escape the torturous land of fakeness.
-B.S.
PS. I hate you. Ahhh I sure feel better.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Dear ugly black lady with the huge mole on her nose
Dear ugly black lady with the huge mole on her nose who shoplifted from my work today...
You aren't fooling anyone. If you think I didn't realize you shoved three pairs of junior shorts into your shopping bag you are sadly mistaken. And just because I didn't say anything doesn't mean you won't get caught, I just didn't want you to cut me shoot me or something else equally as ghetto as stealing $8 shorts from a discount store. I don't get paid enough to risk my life. Maybe you didn't realize you left you drivers license on the customer service desk Ms. Maria something or other from New York, NY. How broke are you that you had to come up with that elaborate plan to steal $24 dollars worth of clothing. What a pathetic shell of person you are.
-B.S.
O FYI you were too fat for those out of date out of style shorts anyway.
You aren't fooling anyone. If you think I didn't realize you shoved three pairs of junior shorts into your shopping bag you are sadly mistaken. And just because I didn't say anything doesn't mean you won't get caught, I just didn't want you to cut me shoot me or something else equally as ghetto as stealing $8 shorts from a discount store. I don't get paid enough to risk my life. Maybe you didn't realize you left you drivers license on the customer service desk Ms. Maria something or other from New York, NY. How broke are you that you had to come up with that elaborate plan to steal $24 dollars worth of clothing. What a pathetic shell of person you are.
-B.S.
O FYI you were too fat for those out of date out of style shorts anyway.
....Random Thought
So this is random (you know because my other pieces are just so planned and well thought out that I wanted you all to realize that I may rant and rave about unimportant issues in this post) but I was watching the repeat of the Khloe Kardashian/Lamar Odom wedding. Let me start out by stating I think these two make an adorably cute couple. There both the same height and she's just as manly as he is and with the whole black/white mix they're guaranteed too have me colored babies!!
But we all know that the two love birds didn't know each other very long before he put that rock on her finger. And that's cool. I mean sure I'm more attached to various items of clothing than I am to a guy I've known for three weeks but I'm not here to criticize their fabulous decision making skills.
The show is on E! Entertainment and the description of the show is as follows:
"After a long and tumultuous romance, Khloe and the love of her life, Los Angeles Laker star Lamar Odom, offer viewers a front-row seat to the celebration and festivities...."
Here are the problems with this run on sentence. A) Long and tumultuous? Their pre-marital relationship wasn't even known until a week before their marriage. And I'm sorry maybe it's me, but I didn't realize that three weeks of unprotected sex constituted as long and tumultuous. I guess me and half my relationships really did have something special. B) It was so unnoticeable the way the producers found a way to fit in that Lamar Odom was a player of the Lakers. Because believe me, no one gave a fuck before. And lastly, C) "Offer viewers a front-row seat" As if their doing us some sort of favor. Like the pictures and home videos didn't make their way into the press at all. Glad to see Kobe was able to make it out of the wedding without raping anybody.
-B.S.
But we all know that the two love birds didn't know each other very long before he put that rock on her finger. And that's cool. I mean sure I'm more attached to various items of clothing than I am to a guy I've known for three weeks but I'm not here to criticize their fabulous decision making skills.
The show is on E! Entertainment and the description of the show is as follows:
"After a long and tumultuous romance, Khloe and the love of her life, Los Angeles Laker star Lamar Odom, offer viewers a front-row seat to the celebration and festivities...."
Here are the problems with this run on sentence. A) Long and tumultuous? Their pre-marital relationship wasn't even known until a week before their marriage. And I'm sorry maybe it's me, but I didn't realize that three weeks of unprotected sex constituted as long and tumultuous. I guess me and half my relationships really did have something special. B) It was so unnoticeable the way the producers found a way to fit in that Lamar Odom was a player of the Lakers. Because believe me, no one gave a fuck before. And lastly, C) "Offer viewers a front-row seat" As if their doing us some sort of favor. Like the pictures and home videos didn't make their way into the press at all. Glad to see Kobe was able to make it out of the wedding without raping anybody.
-B.S.
Hard Times?
In a world where reality shows rule television MTV is trying to resurrect sitcoms with the new series The Hard Times of R.J. Berger. This show is a pathetic excuse for a scripted series. The actors are so bad in the show it actually looks like it's a reality show. The ideas are so far fetched that you would think it had to be a low rent reality show.
However, it is my guilty pleasure for one reason and one reason only. I HAVE TO SEE THAT KIDS DICK! All the big penis jokes are just driving me crazy. In the first episode when R.J. gets pantsed in front of the entire school and everyone sees his manhood and he goes to a party and he can't get the keg to work and the weird looking girl tells him "why don't you try pumping it with your dick" I knew I just had to get my hands on that. (yes I mean literally)
However, if this is the show that's going to reinstate real TV over reality TV, then we really are going through some hard times.
-B.S.
However, it is my guilty pleasure for one reason and one reason only. I HAVE TO SEE THAT KIDS DICK! All the big penis jokes are just driving me crazy. In the first episode when R.J. gets pantsed in front of the entire school and everyone sees his manhood and he goes to a party and he can't get the keg to work and the weird looking girl tells him "why don't you try pumping it with your dick" I knew I just had to get my hands on that. (yes I mean literally)
However, if this is the show that's going to reinstate real TV over reality TV, then we really are going through some hard times.
-B.S.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Give Him the Chair
One of the most controversial issues that has been facing American society for decades is the death penalty. It has divided this country into the do's and the don't's. Some states do fry the criminals to tough to tame, other's let them chill in prison for a few years before dispersing them back on our streets.
There are dozens of arguments that intend to prove why the death penalty is wrong. I would take the time to explain them but they are total bullshit. People who oppose capital punishment are giving more rights to the criminals than the victims.
The death penalty proves to be less expensive than keeping one prisoner incarcerated for a life sentence. Capital punishment is a permanent punishment. Jail time is like a paid vacation for serious convicts. In state prisons convicts get a place to sleep, free food, a library, and even a free education where they can obtain their degrees and come back into the world and create a whole new life for themselves. I'm sure their victims would like those same opportunities but they don't get rewarded like prisoners do.
It's not just the criminals that are ruining our society. It's the government as well. Their standards of crime are dangerously out of wack. Child molesters can get away with five years in prison, while drug dealers get up to three times that amount behind bars. Obviously everyone does not deserve the death penalty, but child molesters, rapists, and serial killers cannot be rehabilitated, which is the supposed point of prison.
Joseph Duncan III has molested and raped countless children in the past thirty years. The government keeps sending him to prison and letting him out, clearly unchanged. In his last case, he kidnapped two children, raped them both, and made the girl watch as he killed her brother. If Duncan had been sent to the chair 30 years ago, we could have saved dozens of those children.
What if your daughter, friend, sister, or mom was raped? Would you want their attacker released in five years? 10 years? Ever?
-B.S.
There are dozens of arguments that intend to prove why the death penalty is wrong. I would take the time to explain them but they are total bullshit. People who oppose capital punishment are giving more rights to the criminals than the victims.
The death penalty proves to be less expensive than keeping one prisoner incarcerated for a life sentence. Capital punishment is a permanent punishment. Jail time is like a paid vacation for serious convicts. In state prisons convicts get a place to sleep, free food, a library, and even a free education where they can obtain their degrees and come back into the world and create a whole new life for themselves. I'm sure their victims would like those same opportunities but they don't get rewarded like prisoners do.
It's not just the criminals that are ruining our society. It's the government as well. Their standards of crime are dangerously out of wack. Child molesters can get away with five years in prison, while drug dealers get up to three times that amount behind bars. Obviously everyone does not deserve the death penalty, but child molesters, rapists, and serial killers cannot be rehabilitated, which is the supposed point of prison.
Joseph Duncan III has molested and raped countless children in the past thirty years. The government keeps sending him to prison and letting him out, clearly unchanged. In his last case, he kidnapped two children, raped them both, and made the girl watch as he killed her brother. If Duncan had been sent to the chair 30 years ago, we could have saved dozens of those children.
What if your daughter, friend, sister, or mom was raped? Would you want their attacker released in five years? 10 years? Ever?
-B.S.
Blood Is Thicker Than Water
It's true. Family is family. I get it, we are bound by blood to always look out for one another. But how deep does the feeling of family obligation run? Why are we forced to drop everything and open our hearts to a family member solely because that person shares some similar DNA with us?
Here's the scenario: Thirty year old woman owns two houses, a mustang convertible, has a Master's degree in Business Finance and is a successful stock broker. Fast forward to to ten years later and replace the houses with her uncle's basement, her mustang for walking shoes, and the stock broker for straight broke. After her father has passed away and she has pushed away everyone in her immediate family she is left with no where to go but her uncle's basement, where she has become a complete inconvenience for everyone who lives there. Her life style scares everyone she comes in contact with. Between the drunk driving, the drugs, the psychologist, and jail no one wants to be around her. Unfortunately her uncle feels obligated to help her because she's family and no one else will. He also feels like there is nothing wrong with her, she just needs a little help.
If EVERYONE else in the family has isolated her one must ask oneself is it her, or is everyone else insane? Chances are it's her.
The uncle hasn't seen his niece for the ten years that she was ruining her life, and now that her accomplishments are laying in the sewer with my shit and dirty tampons she comes knocking on his door begging for help. But why does he feel so obligated to help her? Why do people always say friends come and go but family is forever? I've had friends for six years that I would put before many people in my family. I have sorority sisters that are a family that I would trade some of my cousins for in a heartbeat.
Blood is clearly thicker than water, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that. But who the hell wants to be around blood. It's gushy and gross and it makes people queasy. And to be healthy you should drink eight glasses of water a day. I think I'll stick with the water.
-B.S.
Here's the scenario: Thirty year old woman owns two houses, a mustang convertible, has a Master's degree in Business Finance and is a successful stock broker. Fast forward to to ten years later and replace the houses with her uncle's basement, her mustang for walking shoes, and the stock broker for straight broke. After her father has passed away and she has pushed away everyone in her immediate family she is left with no where to go but her uncle's basement, where she has become a complete inconvenience for everyone who lives there. Her life style scares everyone she comes in contact with. Between the drunk driving, the drugs, the psychologist, and jail no one wants to be around her. Unfortunately her uncle feels obligated to help her because she's family and no one else will. He also feels like there is nothing wrong with her, she just needs a little help.
If EVERYONE else in the family has isolated her one must ask oneself is it her, or is everyone else insane? Chances are it's her.
The uncle hasn't seen his niece for the ten years that she was ruining her life, and now that her accomplishments are laying in the sewer with my shit and dirty tampons she comes knocking on his door begging for help. But why does he feel so obligated to help her? Why do people always say friends come and go but family is forever? I've had friends for six years that I would put before many people in my family. I have sorority sisters that are a family that I would trade some of my cousins for in a heartbeat.
Blood is clearly thicker than water, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to know that. But who the hell wants to be around blood. It's gushy and gross and it makes people queasy. And to be healthy you should drink eight glasses of water a day. I think I'll stick with the water.
-B.S.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Less is More...How much less needs more?
It's summer in New York and everyone is starting to feel the heat. So it's understandable that people will be in less and less clothing. But what I saw today at work was just inexcusable (unless she was a prostitute who was taking her lunch break or something)
A tall skinny white blond girl (with a vicious tan) comes in wearing a low cut tan shirt, a jean jacket, and a silver belt. The shirt was one of those cute shirts that cuts off right beneath you but, like just enough to cover a camel toe. It's a shirt wear with leggings. Apparently this girl didn't get the memo. And even worse was she kept moving around. I kept thinking I was going to get a peep at her whooha every time she reached for her cell phone. And she can't even use the "it's too hot for pants" excuse because if it were that hot maybe that denim long sleeve jacket wasn't such a good idea. It wasn't even like she looked bad in it, it was just completely inappropriate for the occasion. If i worked at a strip club I would say it was totally okay for her to walk into my work dressed like that. But I don't so it wasn't. Just because you can wear something, doesn't mean you should.
-B.S.
A tall skinny white blond girl (with a vicious tan) comes in wearing a low cut tan shirt, a jean jacket, and a silver belt. The shirt was one of those cute shirts that cuts off right beneath you but, like just enough to cover a camel toe. It's a shirt wear with leggings. Apparently this girl didn't get the memo. And even worse was she kept moving around. I kept thinking I was going to get a peep at her whooha every time she reached for her cell phone. And she can't even use the "it's too hot for pants" excuse because if it were that hot maybe that denim long sleeve jacket wasn't such a good idea. It wasn't even like she looked bad in it, it was just completely inappropriate for the occasion. If i worked at a strip club I would say it was totally okay for her to walk into my work dressed like that. But I don't so it wasn't. Just because you can wear something, doesn't mean you should.
-B.S.
Reality Show of the Night
The Jersey Shore has fist pumped it's way into living rooms across America. Even though Vh1 is only showing the re-runs every Thursday of the hit show Jersey Shore, Snookie and the gang will be back with all new shows July 31st, so in the mean time, to get your gym tan and laundry fix there's no other place to be Thursdays at 10 besides in front of the tv watching Jersey Shore. (Unless of course your at a club, or bar, or with friends or out having a life!)
-B.S.
-B.S.
Celebrity Sex Tapes
Celebrity Sex Tapes are a wonderful way for wannabe celebutants and celebrity has beens to make a break back into the spotlight by having their 'intimate private moments unexplainebly end up on the Internet'
Here's a shout out to Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashion. If you are going to tape yourself having sex, you might want to actually tape something worth watching. Paris Hilton with the weird night vision it just looked like two demons rubbing up against each other.
And I was mostly disappointed with Kim because with ass and tits like that she had no business just letting Ray J do all the work. She just laid there. Poor Ray had to do EVERYTHING!! And was this a sex tape or a documentary on your vacations? It was a 3 hour tape with 30 minutes of what I guess you could call sex. But next time try using some toys and getting on top and backing that ass up Kim. Now I see why you were so embarrassed. If I wanted to watch you just lay around naked I could have checked out Playboy for that.
-B.S.
Here's a shout out to Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashion. If you are going to tape yourself having sex, you might want to actually tape something worth watching. Paris Hilton with the weird night vision it just looked like two demons rubbing up against each other.
And I was mostly disappointed with Kim because with ass and tits like that she had no business just letting Ray J do all the work. She just laid there. Poor Ray had to do EVERYTHING!! And was this a sex tape or a documentary on your vacations? It was a 3 hour tape with 30 minutes of what I guess you could call sex. But next time try using some toys and getting on top and backing that ass up Kim. Now I see why you were so embarrassed. If I wanted to watch you just lay around naked I could have checked out Playboy for that.
-B.S.
Transformed?
In 2005 a hot young musical artist emerged into the world of Hip Hop and R&B, and that man was Chris Brown. He danced his way into our hearts and sang his way into our souls (well at least mine) Every song he sang was a number 1 hit on every hip hop, r & b, rap, and pop station. He had sick collaborations with Lil Wayne and Dip Set. There was nothing this kid wouldn't do. Including beat his girlfriend to a pulp.
When the Chris Brown/Rihanna duo first evolved they were the ideal musical couple. Their voices alone were amazing, together the duet would be unstoppable. Until a heated argument they got into before the Grammy's in 2008 led to Chris Brown's fist coming into the dangerous territory of Rihanna's face, over and over and over again.
I was Chris Brown's number 1 supporter, now I am his number 1 hater. If he thinks that buy cleaning up a few parks in an orange jump suit he's going to make up for giving Rihanna a black eye and a fat lip he is sadly mistaken. The saddest thing is that not only does Chris have the fakest form of remorse, he thinks Rihanna doesn't have the right to tell her side of the story. When she came clean about how she found a text on his phone from another girl and that's what sparked the fight Chris told news reporters that the events that happened that day should be kept private. Newsflash Chris, the pictures after the beatdown are all over the place. And I don't care how it started.
Girls today think that Rihanna is somehow in some way, shape or form to blame for the incident. I've heard it all, that Rihanna gave him an STD, that she cheated on him, that she slapped him first. The truth of the matter is that nothing in this world excuses Chris for what he did.
But that's not even my issue anymore with this woman beater. My issue now is that he has made a huge mistake and because of that no one (yes I am speaking for everyone in the world) wants to hear his music. He has made amazing songs since the beating, Transform Ya featuring Lil Wayne could have been the hottest song of the year. However, most stations won't even play his music. And the stations that do play it at odd times that no one would really hear it anyway. And the songs they do play are the ones that he is collaborating with a really big artist such as Lil Wayne of Trey Songs etc so the stations have no choice but to play it.
So do us all a favor Chris, and stop wasting our time. I personally change the station and channel whenever one of your songs come on and I will continue doing so until you get the hint. Stop making music baby Ike Turner. And everyone who has had the audacity to work with you is pathetic. (except lil wayne because he's perfect and doesn't have to be politically correct)
-B.S.
When the Chris Brown/Rihanna duo first evolved they were the ideal musical couple. Their voices alone were amazing, together the duet would be unstoppable. Until a heated argument they got into before the Grammy's in 2008 led to Chris Brown's fist coming into the dangerous territory of Rihanna's face, over and over and over again.
I was Chris Brown's number 1 supporter, now I am his number 1 hater. If he thinks that buy cleaning up a few parks in an orange jump suit he's going to make up for giving Rihanna a black eye and a fat lip he is sadly mistaken. The saddest thing is that not only does Chris have the fakest form of remorse, he thinks Rihanna doesn't have the right to tell her side of the story. When she came clean about how she found a text on his phone from another girl and that's what sparked the fight Chris told news reporters that the events that happened that day should be kept private. Newsflash Chris, the pictures after the beatdown are all over the place. And I don't care how it started.
Girls today think that Rihanna is somehow in some way, shape or form to blame for the incident. I've heard it all, that Rihanna gave him an STD, that she cheated on him, that she slapped him first. The truth of the matter is that nothing in this world excuses Chris for what he did.
But that's not even my issue anymore with this woman beater. My issue now is that he has made a huge mistake and because of that no one (yes I am speaking for everyone in the world) wants to hear his music. He has made amazing songs since the beating, Transform Ya featuring Lil Wayne could have been the hottest song of the year. However, most stations won't even play his music. And the stations that do play it at odd times that no one would really hear it anyway. And the songs they do play are the ones that he is collaborating with a really big artist such as Lil Wayne of Trey Songs etc so the stations have no choice but to play it.
So do us all a favor Chris, and stop wasting our time. I personally change the station and channel whenever one of your songs come on and I will continue doing so until you get the hint. Stop making music baby Ike Turner. And everyone who has had the audacity to work with you is pathetic. (except lil wayne because he's perfect and doesn't have to be politically correct)
-B.S.
Plug of The Day
The oath doctors take when they start their profession seems to be falling on deaf ears these days. It seems that doctors go where the most money is, not necessarily where their help is most needed. And I am the first person to complain about a doctor, about the way he/she acts or the wait in the waiting room or anything, I can nit pick with the best of them.
However, Dr. Kahn in Massapequa, New York is breaking the mold of insensitive, greedy, and unprofessional doctors everywhere.
Dr. Kahn truly cares about every patient he sees (or at least me and my beautiful step mother) When he recommended my stepmother to another doctor because he felt she needed more precise care he didn't think about the income he was losing he thought about the unborn child she was carrying. And even now while she is ready to burst at any minute and is being cared for by another doctor he stays fully involved by insisting to be called when my little sister (1% chance of being a little brother) is born.
Most doctors stress the fact that if you are a smoker you MUST QUIT SMOKING NOW! That's not what Dr. Kahn believes. He says that you cannot quit smoking until you are ready. If you listen to other people and let them influence you it will not work. However, if you are ready to quit smoking Kr. Kahn has natural non-medicine remedies to help you quit for good.
I'm not one to toot any ones horn, but Dr. Kahn deserves. There's my good deed of the day.
-B.S.
However, Dr. Kahn in Massapequa, New York is breaking the mold of insensitive, greedy, and unprofessional doctors everywhere.
Dr. Kahn truly cares about every patient he sees (or at least me and my beautiful step mother) When he recommended my stepmother to another doctor because he felt she needed more precise care he didn't think about the income he was losing he thought about the unborn child she was carrying. And even now while she is ready to burst at any minute and is being cared for by another doctor he stays fully involved by insisting to be called when my little sister (1% chance of being a little brother) is born.
Most doctors stress the fact that if you are a smoker you MUST QUIT SMOKING NOW! That's not what Dr. Kahn believes. He says that you cannot quit smoking until you are ready. If you listen to other people and let them influence you it will not work. However, if you are ready to quit smoking Kr. Kahn has natural non-medicine remedies to help you quit for good.
I'm not one to toot any ones horn, but Dr. Kahn deserves. There's my good deed of the day.
-B.S.
A hardy 'ol time?
Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier was the hottest fad of fashion for a good year-year and a half. But then everybody started wearing it. And when I say everybody I mean everyone. I mean people who had no business wearing it. Here's how you know if you weren't supposed to wear it:
- If you were over the age 29
- If you were under the age of 13
- If you thought Ed Hardy was the person making the clothes
- If you couldn't pronounce Christian Audigier
- If you couldn't afford to pay your bills
- If you didn't understand the logos on the shirts
- If your were someones mom (Yea I mean you Mom)
And it is because of these people that Ed Hardy is no longer acceptable to be purchased by any fashionable person. How do I know this? When I was into Ed Hardy I payed approximately $80 per t-shirt, $100 for sweatpants, $150 for long sleeve shirts and $200 for my prized possession black long sleeve jeweled Ed Hardy sweatshirt. The label sold fast and only came in few sizes. Now, however, Ed Hardy is inside of stores such as TJ Max, Mandees, and Rave and they are on the sales rack for discount prices and people still aren't buying them!!!
If that weren't bad enough, with the clothing line declining drastically in sales Ed Hardy paraphernalia has popped up everywhere else trying to regain some revenue. Such as cell phone cases, dog tags, watches, posters, clocks and handbags...and guess what... the same people who shouldn't have been wearing Ed Hardy in the first place are the people buying the useless crap now. Your not stimulating any fashion trends trailer park dwellers, can't you let us have anything?
-B.S.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Above the Influence
There are so many commercials today dedicated to lifting the self-esteem of teens in America. It started out with the living above the influence commercials The one where they show teens not being in control of their lives because their smoking weed. Somebody else is dressing them. As if the not being able to choose your own clothing is on the same level as being addicted to drugs. As if marijuana can even be considered a drug. But I'm getting off on a tangent now.
Besides that commercial, they have the ones that tell girls not to send naked pictures of themselves to boys because "there's a thin line between him, and the entire school." There's the one where they say going through someones phone that you are dating is crossing the line and you may have a control issue. And one of my personal favorites is the one where there's a boy getting mean words tattooed on his arm because somebody online called him those words. It's supposed to be against online bullying.
First of all I've smoked weed, sexted, went through a boyfriends phone and harassed plenty of people in my myspace days, and if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right.
But more importantly why do kids need so much help with their self-esteem. I mean everyone gets made fun of for something at some point in their childhood and that's no excuse to shoot up a school and blame it on bullying. And it says something when tv commercials have become a parental unit to your kids. It's gotten to the point where I can't even go to the mall and make fun of that chubby kid with the mismatched clothes and the crooked glass because that bitch might shank me.
-B.S.
Besides that commercial, they have the ones that tell girls not to send naked pictures of themselves to boys because "there's a thin line between him, and the entire school." There's the one where they say going through someones phone that you are dating is crossing the line and you may have a control issue. And one of my personal favorites is the one where there's a boy getting mean words tattooed on his arm because somebody online called him those words. It's supposed to be against online bullying.
First of all I've smoked weed, sexted, went through a boyfriends phone and harassed plenty of people in my myspace days, and if that's wrong, then I don't want to be right.
But more importantly why do kids need so much help with their self-esteem. I mean everyone gets made fun of for something at some point in their childhood and that's no excuse to shoot up a school and blame it on bullying. And it says something when tv commercials have become a parental unit to your kids. It's gotten to the point where I can't even go to the mall and make fun of that chubby kid with the mismatched clothes and the crooked glass because that bitch might shank me.
-B.S.
Must Watch Show
It's no secret that Reality Shows have totally taken over television stations everywhere. And while I have had my fun making fun of most of those shows there are many that I set my alarm to watch. (not literally, I'm not a 90 year old woman who can't remember what show comes on what day on what channel. You know the same women who keep specific vitamins in those little vitamin trays that seperate the pills by days so that the elderly won't take the wrong pill at the wrong time) But for those of you who are I will take the liberty of telling you what shows to watch what time and on what day. And remember, I'm right about everything.
So Wednesday Nights on Vh1 'You're Cut Off' comes on at 9pm and repeats and 10:30 and I'm sure all week. It's a very unique show with a concept I've never seen before. It's over privileged women whose family has sent them to see a life coach and learn how to live without spending thousands of other people's dinero every week.
This week I feel Erica deserves our sympathy. All the girls talk about her all the time, and then when she tries to calmly ask why they're talking about her the other girls deny it, and when she tries to defend herself she insults a recovery anorexic. It's like the poor girl can't win. And after all that she didn't pass the lessons for the week? But Gia, the girl who talks behind people's backs, doesn't do any chores, and lost the household 75 dollars passed because she's finally willing to change her own daughters diapers? You got to wonder who makes the rules on these shows.
-B.S.
So Wednesday Nights on Vh1 'You're Cut Off' comes on at 9pm and repeats and 10:30 and I'm sure all week. It's a very unique show with a concept I've never seen before. It's over privileged women whose family has sent them to see a life coach and learn how to live without spending thousands of other people's dinero every week.
This week I feel Erica deserves our sympathy. All the girls talk about her all the time, and then when she tries to calmly ask why they're talking about her the other girls deny it, and when she tries to defend herself she insults a recovery anorexic. It's like the poor girl can't win. And after all that she didn't pass the lessons for the week? But Gia, the girl who talks behind people's backs, doesn't do any chores, and lost the household 75 dollars passed because she's finally willing to change her own daughters diapers? You got to wonder who makes the rules on these shows.
-B.S.
Best FB Status Of The Day
So either my friends on facebook are boring or the USA winning that Soccer game for that superbowl thingy is like taking over status's everywhere. Either way here is the number one facebook status written today.
"Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish. I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids. Have another drink and drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt, and again when your head goes through the windshield."
I'd hate to be the person who J.S. is talking about.
note-if you see you status is ever on this post and you would like to be credited for it on the site send an email to bajastiletto@gmail.com and I will definitely give you the credit you deserve.
-B.S.
"Cause I've seen more spine on jellyfish. I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids. Have another drink and drive yourself home. I hope there's ice on all the roads. And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt, and again when your head goes through the windshield."
I'd hate to be the person who J.S. is talking about.
note-if you see you status is ever on this post and you would like to be credited for it on the site send an email to bajastiletto@gmail.com and I will definitely give you the credit you deserve.
-B.S.
Who's Going To Die First
Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few decades, everyone knows that smoking cigarettes leads to lung cancer and a bunch of other nasty diseases and infections. People who smoke know that, therefore if all the commercials, advertisements, and warnings about cigarette smoking haven't stopped smokers than what makes you think you can?
Here's the scenario: Woman standing outside of her place of business smoking a cigarette on her lunch break, another woman comes up to her and says "You should quit, you know smoking kills right?"
The details of this story are as follows. The woman smoking was a 20 year old girl who eats well and exercises. The woman who told her to quit was a grossly over weight 30 year old who was drinking a Wendy's ice-cream shake.
Now here's a pop quiz, what is the number 1 killer in America? OBESITY! And when the girl who was smoking saw the 400 pound woman drinking at least 1000 empty calories did she say"Hey fat ass you should really put down the shake and run a few miles"?? No because the way people live their lives is no one else's business.
We have already taken away smoking in public places in New York and even made it illegal to smoke 30 feet near a public place. Therefore smokers aren't hurting anyone but themselves, the same way obese people aren't hurting anyone but themselves. The next time you want to advise a smoker to quit, why don't you advise Fat Albert to put down the cheeseburger. It's only fair.
-B.S.
Here's the scenario: Woman standing outside of her place of business smoking a cigarette on her lunch break, another woman comes up to her and says "You should quit, you know smoking kills right?"
The details of this story are as follows. The woman smoking was a 20 year old girl who eats well and exercises. The woman who told her to quit was a grossly over weight 30 year old who was drinking a Wendy's ice-cream shake.
Now here's a pop quiz, what is the number 1 killer in America? OBESITY! And when the girl who was smoking saw the 400 pound woman drinking at least 1000 empty calories did she say"Hey fat ass you should really put down the shake and run a few miles"?? No because the way people live their lives is no one else's business.
We have already taken away smoking in public places in New York and even made it illegal to smoke 30 feet near a public place. Therefore smokers aren't hurting anyone but themselves, the same way obese people aren't hurting anyone but themselves. The next time you want to advise a smoker to quit, why don't you advise Fat Albert to put down the cheeseburger. It's only fair.
-B.S.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
O You're Pregnant and 15? No That's Totally Cool
Televison shows love broadcasting teen pregnancy. What happened to the days when girl's didn't get pregnant they just took 9mos off school to help care for a sick aunt and then returned a little chubbier from all the stress?
I understand teen pregnancy happens and sometimes teens do all they can (just shy of abstinence) to prevent it. However, on every television station do I have to see some 12 yedar old tween carrying a bowling ball in her shirt? Some reality shows have made teen mothers celebrities by showing their lives from their pregnancy to life after birth. All the girls on these shows are living the best cases of teen pregnancy. All their parents are involved and so are the fathers of the children. The girls are going out, partying, going to school, living in large apartment buildings and having low stress lives. This reality show is very unrealistic.
But even worse is the show 'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' On this show it seems like everyone is getting pregnant and everyone who isn't pregnant isn't at all shocked by the fact that girls aged 14-16 are getting pregnant. The teacher's are like "O hey you have a son but you should go to New York for the summer" the parents are like "O my daughter's pregnant, can you pass the bread please" the friends are like "O you're pregnant, so do you think I can borrow that shirt when your too fat to wear it?"
I guess it's just me, maybe I'm the one who needs to get with the 21st century. My president is black, my lambo is blue and my 10 year old is pregnant. What an advance world we live in.
-B.S.
I understand teen pregnancy happens and sometimes teens do all they can (just shy of abstinence) to prevent it. However, on every television station do I have to see some 12 yedar old tween carrying a bowling ball in her shirt? Some reality shows have made teen mothers celebrities by showing their lives from their pregnancy to life after birth. All the girls on these shows are living the best cases of teen pregnancy. All their parents are involved and so are the fathers of the children. The girls are going out, partying, going to school, living in large apartment buildings and having low stress lives. This reality show is very unrealistic.
But even worse is the show 'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' On this show it seems like everyone is getting pregnant and everyone who isn't pregnant isn't at all shocked by the fact that girls aged 14-16 are getting pregnant. The teacher's are like "O hey you have a son but you should go to New York for the summer" the parents are like "O my daughter's pregnant, can you pass the bread please" the friends are like "O you're pregnant, so do you think I can borrow that shirt when your too fat to wear it?"
I guess it's just me, maybe I'm the one who needs to get with the 21st century. My president is black, my lambo is blue and my 10 year old is pregnant. What an advance world we live in.
-B.S.
living vs. living for the future
Think about my future? What's my plan? Sure..10 minutes in the future I plan to be laughing my ass off while watching Family Guy. You?
I get the feeling that every moment of my life today is so microscopic compared to my great huge future everyone's always talking about. You save money for you're future. You go to school for your future. You try and be healthy for your future. But what's wrong with right now? It sounds so farfetched to plan every intircate detail of something that you want to maybe happen who knows how long from now, but to then brush off the way you're living today as just a minor step towards your future. You're living now. I know the smart thing to do is plan out the rest of your life once your 18 but the fun thing to do is live for the moment. Say how you feel. Trash someone's house. Get arrested. Smoke a jeffery. Get a tattoo. Sky dive. Start a forrest fire. Dye your hair white. You could die tomorrow and no one in the after life will be impressed by your little plan that you wrote down in your notebook laptop. When your 6ft under you and Hitler are the same person.
-B.S.
note: i am not responsible for your legal fees if arrested, your hospital bill if you o.d. or get injured, any damaged property, or any infections.
I get the feeling that every moment of my life today is so microscopic compared to my great huge future everyone's always talking about. You save money for you're future. You go to school for your future. You try and be healthy for your future. But what's wrong with right now? It sounds so farfetched to plan every intircate detail of something that you want to maybe happen who knows how long from now, but to then brush off the way you're living today as just a minor step towards your future. You're living now. I know the smart thing to do is plan out the rest of your life once your 18 but the fun thing to do is live for the moment. Say how you feel. Trash someone's house. Get arrested. Smoke a jeffery. Get a tattoo. Sky dive. Start a forrest fire. Dye your hair white. You could die tomorrow and no one in the after life will be impressed by your little plan that you wrote down in your notebook laptop. When your 6ft under you and Hitler are the same person.
-B.S.
note: i am not responsible for your legal fees if arrested, your hospital bill if you o.d. or get injured, any damaged property, or any infections.
why so secretive?
I've been observing a trend with the few friends I have in my life and it seems that this summer secret hookups and secret relationships are all the rage. I'm not judging, in fact I've been guilty of this act numerous times in my life. But do men and women keep the relationship secret for the same reasons? Many women claim to be keeping the activities secret because they don't want to scare the guy off by appearing too eager to come out of the closet (the secret closet, not the homo closet) The claims that the secretiveness somehow makes it more exciting for women appears to be a sham. It's not more exciting it makes many women more anxious. It's almost like the same questions come into play as in a normal relationship (is he seeing someone else, is he happy with me, what can I do to make things better) only it's harder to get answers because you have agreed to keep it a secret which eliminates the seriousness that a real relationship has. Men don't have the same boundaries that they would have with an 'out in the open' relationship. And that, is the number one reason why men keep things on the down low. It's not more exciting for men either, it's just easier. They don't have to spend money taking you on dates because chances are, the two of you aren't being seen in public. He doesn't have to tell you everything because you are like the dirty porn he keeps in his room, he only brings it out when he's in the mood. And the BIG plus for men to having secret hookups and relationships is the fact that they can keep their options open. He can see you secretly and have the same arrangement set up with a bunch of other women. You'll never know because everythings so hush hush.
I personally love secret hookups because their quick (hopefully not too quick) fun and easy with no strings attatched and no one who doesn't need to know knows. However, if your having a full blown relationship that no one knows about, you should ask yourself what you're really hiding from, and whose really doing the hiding?
-B.S.
I personally love secret hookups because their quick (hopefully not too quick) fun and easy with no strings attatched and no one who doesn't need to know knows. However, if your having a full blown relationship that no one knows about, you should ask yourself what you're really hiding from, and whose really doing the hiding?
-B.S.
Worth More Dead Than Alive
So Michael Jackson, the moonwalker, the king of pop, died a year ago this week. While all other television stations and news sites are celebrating the decades he supplied us with life changing music, I'm here to remind us the real legacy he left in this world. It seems like until Michael Jackson died no one really cared about his music (old or new) and everyone from Eminem to Chelsea Lately to Family Guy made fun of the child molestation charges he faced TWICE. However, the legend died and it was like people were crying and really upset about the fact that a man had a heart attack and died and no one wanted to relive the fact that this man is accused of child molesting. The sick man had children coming over into a backyard adventureland and then had them sleep over in his bed. With all the rooms in that huge ass mansion why the hell did all the under age kids have to sleep in the bec with him? If he wasn't really molesting those kids why did he pay off all the accusers? People have to stop living in the past of all M.J's great musical contributions and remember he was a twisted man who enjoyed the company of little kids...a little too much. Remember that when you celebrate the death of Michael Jackson this week.
-B.S.
-B.S.
Plug of The Day
One of the safest products in the world that will never be affected by a recession is female mentration tools. While all of these products tend to be the same, there is a new brand sponsered by Kotex that breaks the mold of pads, tampons and liners. The product is called U. Sure while the end result is the same (keeping the blood inside the mini diaper) The package is a cool black box instead of the normal blue or green or pink plastic bag. The rappers are multicolor so you get a suprise everytime you take one out. And the commercial for the product makes fun of all other commerical and ads for their tampons etc. Now while this new product isn't any less expensive and doesn't do anything special like suck up the blood and make is dissapear into I hate my period land it does make u feel rebellious as u carry out your sick black box of colorfully designed diapers. So spice up your dull life with U by Kotex.
-B.S.
-B.S.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Health Tips of the Day
Women's magazines today always include a sex and health portion inside. And this blog will be no different. I'm not a fan of fad diets usually, but I have created one that is proven by celebrities such as Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears to work. Ok so it starts by not really changing anything about your daily life, resting and sleeping does in fact burn calories so feel free to do that. Then at around 9 pm get up, shower, shave, fix hair, apply make up. That burns a few calories. Then go to the hottest club and make sure to do drugs such as cocaine because that will decrease your appetite. But you also have to drink tons of alcohol or else the addictive ingredients in the drug will kick in and you will find yourself doing lines off some guys dick to get your fix. So to burn the calories of the liquor make sure you grind on lots of men and women and bring someone home. A guy or girl or both I'm not here to discriminate I'm just here to help, think of me as your lifestyle guru. I'm debating between calling this diet the bad mom diet, or the teen with the undeserved self of entitlement diet. Either way, it works, I can see the veins on Lohans arms...or is that from the heroin?
Consult a physician before attempting this diet and remember to use protection sometimes and the red light coming from the dark corner is definately not a camera...i'm positive.
Consult a physician before attempting this diet and remember to use protection sometimes and the red light coming from the dark corner is definately not a camera...i'm positive.
Follow the Cameras into the Watering Hole and Watch me Pee on a Stick
MTV, Vh1, Bravo, E! Entertainment...
All these television shows have many things in common, but the one thing that really grinds my gears is that they all offer reality shows to anyone who comes along...EXCEPT ME.
MTV produced a show called My Life as Liz which was a wonderfully boring show about a lonely loser who wined about how pothetic her life was in highschool.
Vh1 started a less than interesting reality series entitle Basketball Wives which included 6 women who spent the first season of their show doing everything but being wives of basketball players. In fact only one of the women on the show was even married to a basketball player. The cast included 1 wife, 1 dancer, 1 divorce, 1 engaged woman, and 2 women who were never in fact married to the players they were dating, and were at the time seperated from them. Why don't they give me a show and call it Girl Who Slept with President Obama...sure it's not true but it would trick people into watching it. By the way I totally did not sleep with Barack Obama, I don't want an rumors starting because just b/c Hillary let her man get away with it does not mean Michelle will. On the other hand, I'm not totally against being his Monica <3
Bravo is the home of the Housewives. Take offense, anyone who is a religous viewer of The Real Housewives of Anywhere....if you like watching over priviledged middle aged women (and older) act like their in highschool, spoil their children and wear skimpy (but very expensive outfits) Please stop reading and see a therapist. No idiots allowed on this blog.
The most disappointing series must be Pretty Wild on E! Entertainment. It's a low rent version of Keeping Up With the Kardashians with three sisters who are less hot, less paid, and very less interesting.
So for this rant people don't blame it on the alcohol, blame it on all the stations who denied me the television show I deserve. They wouldn't put me on the air, they didn't want to have cameras following me into the watering hole and watch me peeing on a stick...so now you all have to read about it.
-B.S.
All these television shows have many things in common, but the one thing that really grinds my gears is that they all offer reality shows to anyone who comes along...EXCEPT ME.
MTV produced a show called My Life as Liz which was a wonderfully boring show about a lonely loser who wined about how pothetic her life was in highschool.
Vh1 started a less than interesting reality series entitle Basketball Wives which included 6 women who spent the first season of their show doing everything but being wives of basketball players. In fact only one of the women on the show was even married to a basketball player. The cast included 1 wife, 1 dancer, 1 divorce, 1 engaged woman, and 2 women who were never in fact married to the players they were dating, and were at the time seperated from them. Why don't they give me a show and call it Girl Who Slept with President Obama...sure it's not true but it would trick people into watching it. By the way I totally did not sleep with Barack Obama, I don't want an rumors starting because just b/c Hillary let her man get away with it does not mean Michelle will. On the other hand, I'm not totally against being his Monica <3
Bravo is the home of the Housewives. Take offense, anyone who is a religous viewer of The Real Housewives of Anywhere....if you like watching over priviledged middle aged women (and older) act like their in highschool, spoil their children and wear skimpy (but very expensive outfits) Please stop reading and see a therapist. No idiots allowed on this blog.
The most disappointing series must be Pretty Wild on E! Entertainment. It's a low rent version of Keeping Up With the Kardashians with three sisters who are less hot, less paid, and very less interesting.
So for this rant people don't blame it on the alcohol, blame it on all the stations who denied me the television show I deserve. They wouldn't put me on the air, they didn't want to have cameras following me into the watering hole and watch me peeing on a stick...so now you all have to read about it.
-B.S.
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