When arguing with someone you know very well and have developed a strong bond with and even might love in some way (whether it be friendship or otherwise) it is easy to 'hit below the belt.'
Hitting below the belt is when you say something in an argument that you know will not only really hurt the other person but usually has nothing to do with the initial argument.
While most people believe hitting below the belt is always a bad thing I believe it is sometimes necessary.
On Bad Girl's Club Season 5 Brandi and Danielle got into an argument regarding throwing things in the house. Danielle said "I'm not a stripper at least I don't take my clothes off for money bitch." When saying this Danielle was low blowing Brandi and calling her out for being stripper. So Brandi retaliated by saying "I'm not a heroine addict hoe." Because Danielle struggled with a heroine addiction. While what Brandi said might have affected Danielle in a more intense way, it doesn't mean what Danielle said was any less hurtful. If you can't take a low blow you shouldn't throw one.
A real life example is when I was in high school and I was best friends with a girl who turned on me for some reason that I still don't know we would get into little spits and spats on a daily basis. But one day in class we got back quiz results that we both failed and the professor, who was so hot, said what did you guys do cheat off each other? And the girl said "don't compare me to that slut" so I said "Please if I was going to be compared to anyone it wouldn't be a fat Mexican whose own parents didn't love her." She was adopted so it really struck a nerve with her and she left the class crying. I only attack when I feel threatened. I'm a pit bull, most girls are just kittens. Kittens are loud and they do that little scratching thing but I can kill you in a heart beat and walk away with no remorse.
Lesson: if you know your a pussy don't try and play with the big boys
Monday, August 29, 2011
Cheating is in the pants
Have you ever heard the saying that "cheating is in the heart?"
I just recently heard the saying while watching an episode of Degrassi where Marco (a gay characto) hooked up with Ellie (his female roommate) and when he discussed the incident with Paige (his other female roommate) he asked her if he should tell his boyfriend and if it's considered cheating and Paige's response was "I think cheating is in the heart, I think it depends on what you were feeling."
I don't know if it's just me...but I personally don't care what anyone was thinking if you kiss someone else while I'm dating you you could have been thinking about arson for all I care but you still cheated.
Why does it mater what someone was thinking when they shoved their tongue down someone else's throat?
Cheating isn't in the heart because that would mean it has something to do with feelings outside of your hormones. If you are with someone you love and you cheat on them thats from the libido.
Cheating is in the pants
I just recently heard the saying while watching an episode of Degrassi where Marco (a gay characto) hooked up with Ellie (his female roommate) and when he discussed the incident with Paige (his other female roommate) he asked her if he should tell his boyfriend and if it's considered cheating and Paige's response was "I think cheating is in the heart, I think it depends on what you were feeling."
I don't know if it's just me...but I personally don't care what anyone was thinking if you kiss someone else while I'm dating you you could have been thinking about arson for all I care but you still cheated.
Why does it mater what someone was thinking when they shoved their tongue down someone else's throat?
Cheating isn't in the heart because that would mean it has something to do with feelings outside of your hormones. If you are with someone you love and you cheat on them thats from the libido.
Cheating is in the pants
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Why do women think the only way to get a man to do what they want is by manipulating them?
BECAUSE IT WORKS. IF MEN DON'T WANT TO BE MENTALLY TOYED WITH STOP MAKING IT SO EASY!
Friends with Benefits
In light of the summer hit movie Friends with Benefits starring actress Mila Kunis and ex N'Sync member wanna-be actor but he's horrible at is Justin Timberlake. In the film two adults who look to have just escaped from disturbing relationships decide that the only thing they want from each other is sex. I have lived in the friends with benefits land many times and it really isn't as complicated as people make it out to be.
The ingredients for this mix are simple.
1. Take 1 part confident woman. You can't substitute for a girl pretending to be confident. If she doesn't have high self esteem she will bring other ingredients to the mix that can just ruin a meal, such as jealousy and annoyance.
2. Take 2 parts understanding man. Don't confuse this for a guy who thinks by having a friend with benefits means he has a whore. If he wants one of those he can hang around that sleezy motel on the corner for the cops to raid and wait for whatever prostitutes escape from the back window and he'll probably get a discount.
3. Take massive amounts of communication. It's important that both parties involved understand exaclty what the other expects. You want to be friends and hang out and talk but you also want to have sex. You will have to discuss with your special friend protocaul for seeing other people and having other "friends" because if one of you isn't comfortable with one aspect of the relationship the whole thing will undoubtedly fall apart.
4. Add honesty. Don't pretend to be okay with something that you are not okay with. Speak up about what you expect otherwise you have no one to blame but yourself.
5. Mix in a dash of self respect and be able to realize that if you start having feelings for the other person by sticking around and continuing to have sex with them without any form of commitment is not going to make the other person think of you any different. Think about it, how is doing the same thing going to make anyone thing anything different?
&. Sprinkle a bit of fun. The reason most people get involved in friends with benefits is because they like all the perks of a relationship without the drama. The benefits in your arrangement are great but don't forget your friends and should be able to go out and have fun being with each other without having sex.
7. Take all the ingredients and stir in the bedroom and just pray not to get a bun in the oven. Good luck
The ingredients for this mix are simple.
1. Take 1 part confident woman. You can't substitute for a girl pretending to be confident. If she doesn't have high self esteem she will bring other ingredients to the mix that can just ruin a meal, such as jealousy and annoyance.
2. Take 2 parts understanding man. Don't confuse this for a guy who thinks by having a friend with benefits means he has a whore. If he wants one of those he can hang around that sleezy motel on the corner for the cops to raid and wait for whatever prostitutes escape from the back window and he'll probably get a discount.
3. Take massive amounts of communication. It's important that both parties involved understand exaclty what the other expects. You want to be friends and hang out and talk but you also want to have sex. You will have to discuss with your special friend protocaul for seeing other people and having other "friends" because if one of you isn't comfortable with one aspect of the relationship the whole thing will undoubtedly fall apart.
4. Add honesty. Don't pretend to be okay with something that you are not okay with. Speak up about what you expect otherwise you have no one to blame but yourself.
5. Mix in a dash of self respect and be able to realize that if you start having feelings for the other person by sticking around and continuing to have sex with them without any form of commitment is not going to make the other person think of you any different. Think about it, how is doing the same thing going to make anyone thing anything different?
&. Sprinkle a bit of fun. The reason most people get involved in friends with benefits is because they like all the perks of a relationship without the drama. The benefits in your arrangement are great but don't forget your friends and should be able to go out and have fun being with each other without having sex.
7. Take all the ingredients and stir in the bedroom and just pray not to get a bun in the oven. Good luck
Thursday, July 7, 2011
For the fashion impared
Now I’m usually always all about looking sexy. Even at the office I try to pull off the Kim Kardashian-esque attire she wears for business meetings and such. But when I look sexy at work it is in a very professional way. I cover up my cleavage (as much as I possibly can) and when I wear skirts they are still knee length. I’m 21 years old and I grasp the concept of sexy vs. skanky in the work place.
With that being said, it boggles my mind how people in at least their 30s can get dressed in the morning, look in the mirror and truly believe they look acceptable for work.
I just walked into the office today and I’m walking behind one of the professional people (not an intern) and she’s wearing a sky blue mini skirt, I mean a legit mini skirt. Like with the color and the length I wouldn’t be surprised if she wore that last night, stayed out too late and just came to work in the same outfit. Coupled with the scandalous skirt was a barely-there tank top. I couldn’t tell if this bitch was going to the beach or to the office. And to top off the entire ensemble were 6” wedges that, even if they were on some planet considered work appropriate, didn’t even match her tacky outfit.
Maybe it’s me. Is it possible at my young age that I am old fashioned when it comes to office attire? Have I been brain washed by movies, society and my parents that led me to believe that if I dressed to much like what I would normally wear that I wouldn’t be taken seriously? I don’t think it’s me. I think people have been confusing work clothing with everyday clothing and club clothing and even beach clothing.
My mother has been going on various job interviews since completing her nursing classes. She just recently informed me that she went on one job interview where all the applicants, with the exception of her and one other woman, were wearing jeans, flips flops and tank tops. And the people wearing these frumpy outfits saw nothing wrong with it.
I admit that times are changing, I mean we have a black president, gays can unite in holy matrimony and teens getting pregnant is part of the norm, but it is not in today’s time or any time acceptable to go to work looking like the hot mess you were last night.
Time’s aren’t changing that much.
With that being said, it boggles my mind how people in at least their 30s can get dressed in the morning, look in the mirror and truly believe they look acceptable for work.
I just walked into the office today and I’m walking behind one of the professional people (not an intern) and she’s wearing a sky blue mini skirt, I mean a legit mini skirt. Like with the color and the length I wouldn’t be surprised if she wore that last night, stayed out too late and just came to work in the same outfit. Coupled with the scandalous skirt was a barely-there tank top. I couldn’t tell if this bitch was going to the beach or to the office. And to top off the entire ensemble were 6” wedges that, even if they were on some planet considered work appropriate, didn’t even match her tacky outfit.
Maybe it’s me. Is it possible at my young age that I am old fashioned when it comes to office attire? Have I been brain washed by movies, society and my parents that led me to believe that if I dressed to much like what I would normally wear that I wouldn’t be taken seriously? I don’t think it’s me. I think people have been confusing work clothing with everyday clothing and club clothing and even beach clothing.
My mother has been going on various job interviews since completing her nursing classes. She just recently informed me that she went on one job interview where all the applicants, with the exception of her and one other woman, were wearing jeans, flips flops and tank tops. And the people wearing these frumpy outfits saw nothing wrong with it.
I admit that times are changing, I mean we have a black president, gays can unite in holy matrimony and teens getting pregnant is part of the norm, but it is not in today’s time or any time acceptable to go to work looking like the hot mess you were last night.
Time’s aren’t changing that much.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Modern Day Slavery
A slave is defined as a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; an intern is a person who works as an apprentice or trainee in an occupation or profession to gain practical experience, and sometimes also to satisfy legal or other requirements for being licensed or accepted professionally, they don’t sound like the same thing to me.
But the two have various similarities, the biggest one being that you are working for no pay under the constant command of someone else.
I was just scolded by my bosses for not “taking this internship seriously,” and not “putting enough into it.”
Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize I was slacking off so much.
It takes me two hours to get to work from home sometimes. Up until recently I was the only intern who came at 10 a.m. and left at 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday.
I did everything I have ever been asked to do, plus came up with numerous ideas on my own.
I got sexually harassed doing an assignment for their paper, I got lost in ghetto doing another assignment and I got into a car accident just trying to get to work. I work my ass off while I’m here, and when I’m not doing anything, before I start working on my blog, I always ask if anyone needs help with anything.
Until today, I have never turned down an assignment. I have gone to Maspeth, Flushing, St. Albans and god knows where else just to do stories that sometimes don’t get printed anyway!
Today, they asked me to do an assignment in Astoria Queens at 6:30 p.m. I work until 5 p.m. I have a life outside of this non-paying internship. I babysit, I go to the gym, I work at another bullshit job in order to have a little pocket change since this internship takes the majority of my time. So even if I had my car I could not do an assignment that late because I have to be home by 8 p.m.
I think it’s disgusting that the bosses, who have by the way been sitting in the office all day doing nothing, are trying to guilt me into doing an assignment that I can’t do. And to tell me that I need to use my resources and take public transportation, are you paying for my train ticket??? Or the new shoes I would have to buy to walk up and down streets?
I have never complained (to the bosses or my coworkers) about this job because I know it’s a good opportunity and a foot in the door of journalism, but this is ridiculous.
You can’t treat people this way, I don’t care what their title is.
But the two have various similarities, the biggest one being that you are working for no pay under the constant command of someone else.
I was just scolded by my bosses for not “taking this internship seriously,” and not “putting enough into it.”
Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize I was slacking off so much.
It takes me two hours to get to work from home sometimes. Up until recently I was the only intern who came at 10 a.m. and left at 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday.
I did everything I have ever been asked to do, plus came up with numerous ideas on my own.
I got sexually harassed doing an assignment for their paper, I got lost in ghetto doing another assignment and I got into a car accident just trying to get to work. I work my ass off while I’m here, and when I’m not doing anything, before I start working on my blog, I always ask if anyone needs help with anything.
Until today, I have never turned down an assignment. I have gone to Maspeth, Flushing, St. Albans and god knows where else just to do stories that sometimes don’t get printed anyway!
Today, they asked me to do an assignment in Astoria Queens at 6:30 p.m. I work until 5 p.m. I have a life outside of this non-paying internship. I babysit, I go to the gym, I work at another bullshit job in order to have a little pocket change since this internship takes the majority of my time. So even if I had my car I could not do an assignment that late because I have to be home by 8 p.m.
I think it’s disgusting that the bosses, who have by the way been sitting in the office all day doing nothing, are trying to guilt me into doing an assignment that I can’t do. And to tell me that I need to use my resources and take public transportation, are you paying for my train ticket??? Or the new shoes I would have to buy to walk up and down streets?
I have never complained (to the bosses or my coworkers) about this job because I know it’s a good opportunity and a foot in the door of journalism, but this is ridiculous.
You can’t treat people this way, I don’t care what their title is.
Girls Never Change
As a woman, it is not a secret that girls can be vicious. We have all seen exactly how horrible girls can be in movies such as Mean Girls, Jawbreaker and Heathers. But those movies all have something in common, the movies were centered around high school girls, meaning the villains in these movies were 15, 16 and 17 years old. You would think the cattiness would end after high school, maybe even after college…but now that I have taken a step into the real world, I see that girls, tweens, teens, women or old ass bitches, there all the same.
Throughout my adolescence I had to deal with girls not liking me for no reason. They would call me names, they would say I was stuck up and thought I was too good for any of them (which was totally true.) But I thought all that would end once I closed the doors of Copiague High School behind me. Apparently I was wrong.
Even in college at St. John’s University, which is a top rated New York school (just so you realized I didn’t attend college with the same assholes from H.S. at Nassau or Suffolk.) And even then I have dealt with drama between girls ages ranging from 18-25. To be fair, I am in a sorority, so therefore levels of maturity must be taken into account. It can totally be compared to being in a gang. We are identified by our colors, we have ‘beef’ with groups of girls in other colors and we like to mark our territory. So there have been instances where we have had issues with other sororities and even fraternities.
But then when you enter the working world, you think you are surrounded by intelligent, well educated, mature people. Think again.
I’m not counting my four years of experience at TJ Max because anyone is hired there. You don’t need any type of degree or any type of intellect; therefore you are bound to witness immature pettiness because you work with immature petty people.
But when you are working at a real place of business, it would be nice to feel safe from that kind of stupidity.
I am an intern, and I think my female boss hates me, for reasons unbeknownst to me. It feels just like H.S. all over again. At first, I thought she was just a bitch, which I could respect because I’m a bitch. And a woman who is running a company would have to be a bitch for people to respect her. But then I started noticing she was only a bitch towards me, and no one else. She’s very nice to the other employees, but then I thought I’m just an intern maybe she doesn’t respect me enough to show me the same courtesy she shows the real workers. But then when new interns started showing up and she was being so nice to them I knew it must be a personal vendetta against me. On my first day at the office I was yelled at. When I got lost on the job I was shown no sympathy. I was criticized for mistakes I didn’t make. My work was edited harshly while others were applauded. She constantly gives me looks of disgust whenever I try to talk to her, which only makes me nervous. Then I hear her laughing and joking with other interns in her office.
So now that we have established a pattern of behavior that proves the dragon lady does not like me, let’s try to come up with some valid reasons why she could possibly not like little old me.
1. I’m extremely good looking.
Like believe it or not it is a curse, and it has been the basis for a lot of girls I’ve dealt with to not be too fond of me. She dresses really nice and looks really good, and for the most part, no one in this office pays attention to their looks. So she was the hottest thing at the office (in her mind) and then I come along, being at least 15 years younger, with amazing fashion sense (even for drab business attire) and she feels like I’m competition. (For what I have no idea, she spends her whole time in the office with the bigger boss, who is bigger in EVERY way, trust me she can have him!)
*For the next reasons it’s either one or the other, I don’t think it’s possible to be both.
2. She thinks I don’t work hard enough
She started here as an intern, and now she’s the managing editor. Maybe she’s holding me to a standard that she lived up to and she doesn’t thing I deserve to be here.
3. She thinks I’m too good at my job
Since she started as an intern and made it all the way to where she is now, maybe she thinks I’m gunning for her job or something. Maybe she sees all the work I put into this job as an insult. Especially when I come up with new ideas to write about that she didn’t come up with, maybe she thinks her time as the reigning queen of the office is coming to an end and she’s blaming it on me.
4. I’m young with my whole life ahead of me
In journalism there are many outlets you can write for. My dream it to write for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and since I’m only 21 and still in school that dream is still an opportunity to for me. However, she started working here years ago as intern, and maybe it wasn’t something she planned on doing forever. But as time went on and she kept getting promoted she stuck around and maybe now she feels trapped with no way out.
5. She just doesn’t like me
I have a very distinct personality. I don’t want to say you either love me or hate me, because there can be an in between with me. Some people can tolerate me in small doses. Some people want to be around me all the time. I can’t help who I am, but maybe who I am annoys her, and I can respect that. A lot of people that haven’t actually done anything to me I find really annoying and would never choose to spend my time with them.
For example, there’s an intern who I can’t stand. Her name is something September 11th like and she thinks she knows everything about journalism. Bitch you’re the same age as me and you go to a lower ranked school and you started this internship after me, know your place. But once again, she did nothing personally to me, I just don’t like who she is as a person.
Anyway, no matter why my boss hates me, I can’t change it, but I do have to find a way around it. Let’s face it we live in an ass kissing world and I need good references.
Throughout my adolescence I had to deal with girls not liking me for no reason. They would call me names, they would say I was stuck up and thought I was too good for any of them (which was totally true.) But I thought all that would end once I closed the doors of Copiague High School behind me. Apparently I was wrong.
Even in college at St. John’s University, which is a top rated New York school (just so you realized I didn’t attend college with the same assholes from H.S. at Nassau or Suffolk.) And even then I have dealt with drama between girls ages ranging from 18-25. To be fair, I am in a sorority, so therefore levels of maturity must be taken into account. It can totally be compared to being in a gang. We are identified by our colors, we have ‘beef’ with groups of girls in other colors and we like to mark our territory. So there have been instances where we have had issues with other sororities and even fraternities.
But then when you enter the working world, you think you are surrounded by intelligent, well educated, mature people. Think again.
I’m not counting my four years of experience at TJ Max because anyone is hired there. You don’t need any type of degree or any type of intellect; therefore you are bound to witness immature pettiness because you work with immature petty people.
But when you are working at a real place of business, it would be nice to feel safe from that kind of stupidity.
I am an intern, and I think my female boss hates me, for reasons unbeknownst to me. It feels just like H.S. all over again. At first, I thought she was just a bitch, which I could respect because I’m a bitch. And a woman who is running a company would have to be a bitch for people to respect her. But then I started noticing she was only a bitch towards me, and no one else. She’s very nice to the other employees, but then I thought I’m just an intern maybe she doesn’t respect me enough to show me the same courtesy she shows the real workers. But then when new interns started showing up and she was being so nice to them I knew it must be a personal vendetta against me. On my first day at the office I was yelled at. When I got lost on the job I was shown no sympathy. I was criticized for mistakes I didn’t make. My work was edited harshly while others were applauded. She constantly gives me looks of disgust whenever I try to talk to her, which only makes me nervous. Then I hear her laughing and joking with other interns in her office.
So now that we have established a pattern of behavior that proves the dragon lady does not like me, let’s try to come up with some valid reasons why she could possibly not like little old me.
1. I’m extremely good looking.
Like believe it or not it is a curse, and it has been the basis for a lot of girls I’ve dealt with to not be too fond of me. She dresses really nice and looks really good, and for the most part, no one in this office pays attention to their looks. So she was the hottest thing at the office (in her mind) and then I come along, being at least 15 years younger, with amazing fashion sense (even for drab business attire) and she feels like I’m competition. (For what I have no idea, she spends her whole time in the office with the bigger boss, who is bigger in EVERY way, trust me she can have him!)
*For the next reasons it’s either one or the other, I don’t think it’s possible to be both.
2. She thinks I don’t work hard enough
She started here as an intern, and now she’s the managing editor. Maybe she’s holding me to a standard that she lived up to and she doesn’t thing I deserve to be here.
3. She thinks I’m too good at my job
Since she started as an intern and made it all the way to where she is now, maybe she thinks I’m gunning for her job or something. Maybe she sees all the work I put into this job as an insult. Especially when I come up with new ideas to write about that she didn’t come up with, maybe she thinks her time as the reigning queen of the office is coming to an end and she’s blaming it on me.
4. I’m young with my whole life ahead of me
In journalism there are many outlets you can write for. My dream it to write for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and since I’m only 21 and still in school that dream is still an opportunity to for me. However, she started working here years ago as intern, and maybe it wasn’t something she planned on doing forever. But as time went on and she kept getting promoted she stuck around and maybe now she feels trapped with no way out.
5. She just doesn’t like me
I have a very distinct personality. I don’t want to say you either love me or hate me, because there can be an in between with me. Some people can tolerate me in small doses. Some people want to be around me all the time. I can’t help who I am, but maybe who I am annoys her, and I can respect that. A lot of people that haven’t actually done anything to me I find really annoying and would never choose to spend my time with them.
For example, there’s an intern who I can’t stand. Her name is something September 11th like and she thinks she knows everything about journalism. Bitch you’re the same age as me and you go to a lower ranked school and you started this internship after me, know your place. But once again, she did nothing personally to me, I just don’t like who she is as a person.
Anyway, no matter why my boss hates me, I can’t change it, but I do have to find a way around it. Let’s face it we live in an ass kissing world and I need good references.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Gay Love is True Love
The state of New York
I’ve been saying this for years, if gay people want to get married and be miserable then why should anyone stop them?
I really don’t understand the huge issue between what people do in their personal lives. Why should someone’s sexual orientation stop them from having the same rights as everyone else?
The reasons for not allowing homosexuals to marry are ridiculous. Of course people want to bring the bible and religious beliefs into the conversation when it has no place here. Our country is based on separating the church and state. Therefore we can’t make something a law just because it was in the bible. That would make us no better than the Muslims if we did that.
Another reason people claim is that since gays cannot produce children they should not be permitted to get married. That’s another stupid reason. There are like 6 million orphans in the world. Since these couples can’t make more they can take some of the kids no one else wants. In fact, I wish more people would be gay so that less people would have children.
The real reason people don’t want gay people to have the right to be married is because it’s different and it’s probably scary for the more close-minded people. And that is a theory I can respect. If legislation just said that they felt uneasy about giving same sex couples the right to get married I could understand that way more than the lies and reason they try to wrap their beliefs around. It makes sense that after centuries of living life one way, that opening the door to something that used to only be kept in the closet would freak out a lot of people.
But through change is how our country evolved. It used to be that people of different races were not allowed to have relationships with one another. And without changing that law a lot of influential people would not be here (including myself) In the past women were not able to walk around in public without a man, let alone vote (those laws might still exist in some countries where no one cares about) and in the last presidential election we had a woman as one of the democratic candidates and a woman as the Vice President to the republican candidate (as pathetic as those women were it was still a step in the right direction) Centuries ago our four fathers kept black slaves and today a black man is our president. Just a few decades ago there was no alcohol permitted anywhere in our county, and now I work within a 2 minute distance from 3 bars and 20 restaurants that will all serve drinks after 11 a.m.
So I ask you, hasn’t change made our country better? Or do you still want to wearing a corset and having your father trade pigs so some 50 year old man will marry you at 12? In fact, children marry and incest used to be okay, are we really going to stand in the way of true love just because it’s gay love?
Well I’m not!
They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Cycles through Songs
The beginning of a relationship will usually start with sex. Whether you are aware of it or not, sex is the ignition to a relationship. Think about it, when you first meet someone you don’t think about the introduction you are going to give to your parents or even your first date, you think about how hot that person is. And I’ve found the perfect song to express that message.
Gyal, me wann fi hold
Yuh put me arms right around ya
Gyal, you give me the tightest
Hold me eva seen in my life
Gyal, me wann fi just squeeze
Yah put me ting right around ya
Gyal, you give me tightest
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem dry and me nuh care
Mi tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spare, so we nuh care
And as a woman I will be dere
Mi wanna gyal who go tek you away
Me want a gyal who cyan wine pon me
Wid it good and mek mi feel itt
Show me that you could girl
Life ah past by everbady like woo, woo, woo, woo
Jump on me back and she go boom, boom, boom, boom
Gime the mekka van aand the fat tun tun tun
Me na rampaz mi nozzle and get my boom boom
She de out a control
I move first cuz she want a man soon
She say no good woman and stil she good
Still me want it well good
Life ah past by pon him and he guud, guud, guud, guud
Jump pan hi back and gu, gu, gu, guuh
In the maca van 95 boom, boom
Me na ramp when mi fi get mi goods
She de outta control
Ah, more fire she want in har soul
Ah, seta moan pan yuh and still she good
And still them have it well good
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem ah dry and me na care
Me tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spere, so we na care
And as a woman I will be there
While this song is hard to understand because of the Caribbean slang, the message is quite clear. This guy is talking about how tight the woman’s vagina is, and how much he just want to be in and around it. He’s not saying he loves her, or even that he likes her, but he wants to be very close to her.
Once you move passed the instant sexual gratification, you can decide whether this person is worth pursuing for a real relationship, or if you just want to add that notch to the old belt. For the purposes of this blog entry, let’s say you decide have a meaningful relationship and you think this person is amazing.
Love you like a brother,
Treat you like a friend.
Respect you like a lover
If you be the cash,
I'll be the rubber band.
You be the match,
I'm gon' be the fuse, boom!
Painter baby,
You could be the muse.
I'm the reporter baby,
You could be the news,
'Cause you're the cigarette,
And I'm the smoker.
We raise a bet,
'Cause you're the joker,
Truth tho.
You are the chalk,
And I can be the blackboard
You could be the talk,
And I could be the walk.
Even when the sky comes falling,
Even when the sun don't shine,
I got faith in you and I,
So put your pretty little hand in mine.
Even when we're down to the wire baby,
Even when it's do or die,
We could do it baby, simple and plain,
'Cause this love is a sure thing.
.com/lyrics/m/miguel_jontel/sure_thing.html ]
If I'm the blunt,
You could be the lighter babe
Fire it up!
Writer baby,
You could be the quote,
If I'm the lyric baby,
You could be the note.
Record that!
Saint, I'm a sinner,
Prize, I'm a winner,
And it's you
What did I do to deserve that.
Paper baby,
I'll be the pen
Say that I'm the one,
'Cause you're a ten.
Real and not pretend!
This song isn’t about sex. Because after awhile a relationship revolves less around sex and more around what you are to each other. In this song (Sure Thing by Miguel) he uses metaphors and similes to describe the feelings he has for someone. In his “sure thing” relationship he and his partner are totally in sync.
Relationships don’t go on like this forever (but my advice is to reside in ‘in sync’ land for as long as possible. But there comes a time when you either grow stronger as a couple and move into the next phase of a relationship, or you fizzle or fight until the point where there is no relationship. For the purpose of this blog we are going to explore both paths through song.
Let us start with the break up path. There are pretty much three outcomes of the break up path.
The first path is the delayed break up. Where the feelings are fizzling and the couple is constantly fighting, but instead of ending the relationship as soon as possible one, or both of the parties, contemplates the decision longer than necessary. The couple spends days, weeks, months and in worse scenarios, years in a bad relationship that’s just going to end anyway.
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say they're the lucky ones.
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wished you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.
[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
Next chapter.
How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I started to think one day I'd tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.
Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like the careless,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.
The end.
Another way one might handle a break up is feeling relieved. Clearly the two of you were not working out for a reason. So rather than wonder what you could have done differently or what the other person did wrong, you feel great to be without that person, because you know that you’re better off.
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out
[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye
Another way a person can feel after a break up is regret. Sometimes you think you would be better off without someone, and you realize that you really do love them and what you thought you would gain from the break up wasn’t worth what you lost.
I’m so glad you made time to see me
Hows life? Tell me hows your family?
I haven’t seen them in a while.
You’ve been good. Busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind
Your gave me roses and I left them there to die
So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain’t nothin’ but missin’ you
Wishin’ that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days I haven’t been sleeping
I’ve been thinkin
Of when your birthday passed and I didn’t call
I remember all of the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
And the cold came, the dark days, when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
I miss your tan skin your sweet smile so good to me so right
And when you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
So maybe this is wishful thinkin’
Or maybe just myself dreamin’
But if we loved again I swear I’d love you right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.
There’s also a fourth way someone could feel about a break up, which is that they really don’t care either way. But there are no songs about that.
But lets explore the happier note of a relationship, which would be moving forward together.
Jagged Edge:
See first of all (Yeah)
I know these so-called playa'z wouldn't tell you this (What?)
But I'm go be real and say what's on my heart (Yeah)
Let's take this chance and make this love feel relevant
Didn't you know I loved her from the start? (Yo)
Yeah.....
When I think about (Uh-huh, huh)
All these years we put in this relationship (Yeah)
Who'll knew we'd make it this far?
Then I think about (Uh-huh)
Where would I be if we were just to fall apart?
And I can't stand the thought of leaving you...
Meet me at the altar in your white dress(Uh-huh)
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it you I must been feeling you all the while girl i must confess
girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Said I done it all but frankly girl I'm tired of this emptiness I wanna come home to you and only you{Why?}
Cause making love to anyone ain't happenin'
I just gotta be with you
I think about
Us finishin' somethin' we started so long ago?
I wanna give you my heart
Do you think about Maybe us having some babies? C'mon won't you be my lady?
Forever girl....
Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it (Y'all knew we came to dance)
been feeling you all the while girl I must confess
Girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Let's get married
Let's get married baby
Let's get married baby
We could pretend after this stage of the relationship everything will be perfect from here on…but I’m not going to lie to you. After you realize you will only sleep with one person for the rest of your life, after the woman gains weight from child birth, and therefore loses her self-esteem and after the man inherits a beer belly a loses his hair the things that held you together will soon tear you apart. Between cheating, money problems, gay secrets and divorce…we’re just waiting for the song about that.
Gyal, me wann fi hold
Yuh put me arms right around ya
Gyal, you give me the tightest
Hold me eva seen in my life
Gyal, me wann fi just squeeze
Yah put me ting right around ya
Gyal, you give me tightest
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem dry and me nuh care
Mi tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spare, so we nuh care
And as a woman I will be dere
Mi wanna gyal who go tek you away
Me want a gyal who cyan wine pon me
Wid it good and mek mi feel itt
Show me that you could girl
Life ah past by everbady like woo, woo, woo, woo
Jump on me back and she go boom, boom, boom, boom
Gime the mekka van aand the fat tun tun tun
Me na rampaz mi nozzle and get my boom boom
She de out a control
I move first cuz she want a man soon
She say no good woman and stil she good
Still me want it well good
Life ah past by pon him and he guud, guud, guud, guud
Jump pan hi back and gu, gu, gu, guuh
In the maca van 95 boom, boom
Me na ramp when mi fi get mi goods
She de outta control
Ah, more fire she want in har soul
Ah, seta moan pan yuh and still she good
And still them have it well good
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem ah dry and me na care
Me tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spere, so we na care
And as a woman I will be there
While this song is hard to understand because of the Caribbean slang, the message is quite clear. This guy is talking about how tight the woman’s vagina is, and how much he just want to be in and around it. He’s not saying he loves her, or even that he likes her, but he wants to be very close to her.
Once you move passed the instant sexual gratification, you can decide whether this person is worth pursuing for a real relationship, or if you just want to add that notch to the old belt. For the purposes of this blog entry, let’s say you decide have a meaningful relationship and you think this person is amazing.
Love you like a brother,
Treat you like a friend.
Respect you like a lover
If you be the cash,
I'll be the rubber band.
You be the match,
I'm gon' be the fuse, boom!
Painter baby,
You could be the muse.
I'm the reporter baby,
You could be the news,
'Cause you're the cigarette,
And I'm the smoker.
We raise a bet,
'Cause you're the joker,
Truth tho.
You are the chalk,
And I can be the blackboard
You could be the talk,
And I could be the walk.
Even when the sky comes falling,
Even when the sun don't shine,
I got faith in you and I,
So put your pretty little hand in mine.
Even when we're down to the wire baby,
Even when it's do or die,
We could do it baby, simple and plain,
'Cause this love is a sure thing.
.com/lyrics/m/miguel_jontel/sure_thing.html ]
If I'm the blunt,
You could be the lighter babe
Fire it up!
Writer baby,
You could be the quote,
If I'm the lyric baby,
You could be the note.
Record that!
Saint, I'm a sinner,
Prize, I'm a winner,
And it's you
What did I do to deserve that.
Paper baby,
I'll be the pen
Say that I'm the one,
'Cause you're a ten.
Real and not pretend!
This song isn’t about sex. Because after awhile a relationship revolves less around sex and more around what you are to each other. In this song (Sure Thing by Miguel) he uses metaphors and similes to describe the feelings he has for someone. In his “sure thing” relationship he and his partner are totally in sync.
Relationships don’t go on like this forever (but my advice is to reside in ‘in sync’ land for as long as possible. But there comes a time when you either grow stronger as a couple and move into the next phase of a relationship, or you fizzle or fight until the point where there is no relationship. For the purpose of this blog we are going to explore both paths through song.
Let us start with the break up path. There are pretty much three outcomes of the break up path.
The first path is the delayed break up. Where the feelings are fizzling and the couple is constantly fighting, but instead of ending the relationship as soon as possible one, or both of the parties, contemplates the decision longer than necessary. The couple spends days, weeks, months and in worse scenarios, years in a bad relationship that’s just going to end anyway.
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say they're the lucky ones.
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wished you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.
[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
Next chapter.
How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I started to think one day I'd tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.
Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like the careless,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.
The end.
Another way one might handle a break up is feeling relieved. Clearly the two of you were not working out for a reason. So rather than wonder what you could have done differently or what the other person did wrong, you feel great to be without that person, because you know that you’re better off.
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out
[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye
Another way a person can feel after a break up is regret. Sometimes you think you would be better off without someone, and you realize that you really do love them and what you thought you would gain from the break up wasn’t worth what you lost.
I’m so glad you made time to see me
Hows life? Tell me hows your family?
I haven’t seen them in a while.
You’ve been good. Busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind
Your gave me roses and I left them there to die
So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain’t nothin’ but missin’ you
Wishin’ that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days I haven’t been sleeping
I’ve been thinkin
Of when your birthday passed and I didn’t call
I remember all of the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
And the cold came, the dark days, when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
I miss your tan skin your sweet smile so good to me so right
And when you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
So maybe this is wishful thinkin’
Or maybe just myself dreamin’
But if we loved again I swear I’d love you right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.
There’s also a fourth way someone could feel about a break up, which is that they really don’t care either way. But there are no songs about that.
But lets explore the happier note of a relationship, which would be moving forward together.
Jagged Edge:
See first of all (Yeah)
I know these so-called playa'z wouldn't tell you this (What?)
But I'm go be real and say what's on my heart (Yeah)
Let's take this chance and make this love feel relevant
Didn't you know I loved her from the start? (Yo)
Yeah.....
When I think about (Uh-huh, huh)
All these years we put in this relationship (Yeah)
Who'll knew we'd make it this far?
Then I think about (Uh-huh)
Where would I be if we were just to fall apart?
And I can't stand the thought of leaving you...
Meet me at the altar in your white dress(Uh-huh)
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it you I must been feeling you all the while girl i must confess
girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Said I done it all but frankly girl I'm tired of this emptiness I wanna come home to you and only you{Why?}
Cause making love to anyone ain't happenin'
I just gotta be with you
I think about
Us finishin' somethin' we started so long ago?
I wanna give you my heart
Do you think about Maybe us having some babies? C'mon won't you be my lady?
Forever girl....
Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it (Y'all knew we came to dance)
been feeling you all the while girl I must confess
Girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Let's get married
Let's get married baby
Let's get married baby
We could pretend after this stage of the relationship everything will be perfect from here on…but I’m not going to lie to you. After you realize you will only sleep with one person for the rest of your life, after the woman gains weight from child birth, and therefore loses her self-esteem and after the man inherits a beer belly a loses his hair the things that held you together will soon tear you apart. Between cheating, money problems, gay secrets and divorce…we’re just waiting for the song about that.
Franken Babies!!!!!
It’s no secret that I do not like children. I think I have made that perfectly clear.
But when I saw something on Basketball Wives (another Grade A show for moral values) I had to bring it to everyone’s attention (and by everyone I mean the 4 people who read this shit)
Evelyn , from Basketball Wives, who is now engaged to Chad ‘Ocho Cinco,’ a football player, (I know the irony kills me too) are trying to have children together. But not just any type of children. They want twin boy athletes. Very specific. When I first heard this request I thought, “yea and I want something more interesting to do with my time then talk about you people on my pathetic blog, but that’s not going to happen.” But as the show progressed, I saw that it was possible.
The illegitimate couple went into a doctor’s office and revealed their ridiculous request to the doctor. To my surprise, it wasn’t ridiculous at all. In fact the procedure is pretty simple. Chad has to give a sample of his sperm to the doctor. The doctor then extracts the sperm that would create twin boys if it met with Evelyn’s eggs, and then inject that particular sperm into Evelyn.
I’m totally not kidding that’s basically what the doctor said, but in more scientific terms.
So at first I thought that was pretty interesting. Because if I ever did get married and have children, I would only want one son. So if there was a way to make that possible for sure, instead of just trying and hoping for a boy I thought I would have no problem.
But then after hearing my parent’s opinion on these kids that are basically built in a lab I thought it was a little strange. Using science to engineer the perfect babies? That does sound a little farfetched and unsafe. What if you do get twin boys, but then they have missing toes and arms and shit?
And then I thought, science has come such a long way, now we can give our sperm and eggs to some other bitch and have her carry the baby for us. So why is this so strange? Also, people take risks of their kids coming out with down syndrome or whatever every time they get pregnant, so I don’t think that by involving science the risk would increase.
It’s a totally strange topic, and for once I don’t know which side of the fence I’m standing on. Are we in favor of genetically modified babies? Or do we like our rugrats the old fashioned way?
But when I saw something on Basketball Wives (another Grade A show for moral values) I had to bring it to everyone’s attention (and by everyone I mean the 4 people who read this shit)
Evelyn , from Basketball Wives, who is now engaged to Chad ‘Ocho Cinco,’ a football player, (I know the irony kills me too) are trying to have children together. But not just any type of children. They want twin boy athletes. Very specific. When I first heard this request I thought, “yea and I want something more interesting to do with my time then talk about you people on my pathetic blog, but that’s not going to happen.” But as the show progressed, I saw that it was possible.
The illegitimate couple went into a doctor’s office and revealed their ridiculous request to the doctor. To my surprise, it wasn’t ridiculous at all. In fact the procedure is pretty simple. Chad has to give a sample of his sperm to the doctor. The doctor then extracts the sperm that would create twin boys if it met with Evelyn’s eggs, and then inject that particular sperm into Evelyn.
I’m totally not kidding that’s basically what the doctor said, but in more scientific terms.
So at first I thought that was pretty interesting. Because if I ever did get married and have children, I would only want one son. So if there was a way to make that possible for sure, instead of just trying and hoping for a boy I thought I would have no problem.
But then after hearing my parent’s opinion on these kids that are basically built in a lab I thought it was a little strange. Using science to engineer the perfect babies? That does sound a little farfetched and unsafe. What if you do get twin boys, but then they have missing toes and arms and shit?
And then I thought, science has come such a long way, now we can give our sperm and eggs to some other bitch and have her carry the baby for us. So why is this so strange? Also, people take risks of their kids coming out with down syndrome or whatever every time they get pregnant, so I don’t think that by involving science the risk would increase.
It’s a totally strange topic, and for once I don’t know which side of the fence I’m standing on. Are we in favor of genetically modified babies? Or do we like our rugrats the old fashioned way?
Monday, June 13, 2011
It's coming.....
We all dread it…it happens to all of us…one minute we’re in a casual dating situation and having fun…with the new conversations, dates, friends, sex… but the longer the relationship goes on for, the more serious it is bound to get…you can’t help it, it just happens…one day you are just rolling around the sack with your “boyfriend” and the next thing you know BAMMMM it’s time to meet the parents. Literally.
Once when I was at my boyfriends house (who used to live in the basement of his parents house) I woke up alone in his bed to his father telling me I had to move because renovators were coming in the basement. I’m just glad I happened to be wearing clothes that night.
But forget about how awkward that meeting was, I want to think about how awkward it is for the other person. Like how awkward is it for you when you’re introducing your significant other to your parents? Wondering is that a fake smile my dad has or a genuine smile? Is my grandfather offering him a drink because he wants to drink together or because he wants to see if he’s going to drink and drive? Does your aunt really thing his profession is noble, or is she just waiting for him to turn around to tell you how he will never make a decent living in the market? Those are all the questions that went through my mind yesterday at my sister’s Christening. Because letting him meet my parents and grandparents was one huge step already, but meeting the entire Curtiss Clan was overwhelming…not only for him but for me.
I was constantly worrying about how everything we did would look to my family, I didn’t want to be too touchy feely because I didn’t want them to know we were having sex. But I didn’t want to not touch at all because I didn’t want people to think we had a bad relationship or were in a fight. I didn’t want to give him a tour of the house because I didn’t want people to think we sneaking off to be alone together. I didn’t want him to go to his car because I didn’t want my family to know that he’s a smoker (and I didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette without me.) I didn’t even want to leave with him because I didn’t want everyone knowing I was going back to his house for the night.
All of my worries were put to rest. My grandfather offered him a beer minutes after he walked through the door and talked to him for hours, not grilling him, but having legitimate conversations about politics and the economy. (This is probably the first boyfriend I’ve ever had that could hold an intelligent conversation with my family) My father came over to where we were sitting and said, “I wanted to let you know that I like you, we all like you, and we’re glad that you can make Erica happy. If your work schedule permitted it would you want to come to Puerto Rico for the week of August 15 with us? Tickets are no problem.”
WTF??? I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my dad’s offering him free trips out of the country? He has never invited my best friends on a trip with us!
If that wasn’t weird enough, I go to the bathroom for a minute and I’m rushing because I don’t want to leave him alone with my family and let them tear him apart…I return to see my boyfriend, grandfather and cousin taking shots together. My grandfather never offers me a drink!
Then my god mother who I respect so much and truly value her opinion told me she thought she was cute and that he had a good steady job and she’s happy for me. My grandmother told me he’s the first guy she ever thought was good enough for me.
After the christening I stopped at my mom’s place. My mom was going to be a little more difficult to accept Mike (even though she has already met him and confirmed that she liked him) because she didn’t have the best impressions of him. When she first met him after dropping me at his house he was high (I doubt she knew though) the second time she met him at a cancer benefit my sorority held on campus he had been drinking before (she smelt the liquor on him immediately) and every fight we have ever had I told my mom every detail about, so she’s a little bias. But last night the two of them bonded over embarrassing photos of my childhood and a friendly rivalry over the Heat vs. Mavericks play off basketball game.
Maybe the dreaded meeting the parents isn’t the huge ordeal we build it up to be in our heads. As much as we hate to hear it parents were our age once, and as much as I hate to admit it, they’re not all clueless. Well at least mine aren’t. Sucks to not be me!
Once when I was at my boyfriends house (who used to live in the basement of his parents house) I woke up alone in his bed to his father telling me I had to move because renovators were coming in the basement. I’m just glad I happened to be wearing clothes that night.
But forget about how awkward that meeting was, I want to think about how awkward it is for the other person. Like how awkward is it for you when you’re introducing your significant other to your parents? Wondering is that a fake smile my dad has or a genuine smile? Is my grandfather offering him a drink because he wants to drink together or because he wants to see if he’s going to drink and drive? Does your aunt really thing his profession is noble, or is she just waiting for him to turn around to tell you how he will never make a decent living in the market? Those are all the questions that went through my mind yesterday at my sister’s Christening. Because letting him meet my parents and grandparents was one huge step already, but meeting the entire Curtiss Clan was overwhelming…not only for him but for me.
I was constantly worrying about how everything we did would look to my family, I didn’t want to be too touchy feely because I didn’t want them to know we were having sex. But I didn’t want to not touch at all because I didn’t want people to think we had a bad relationship or were in a fight. I didn’t want to give him a tour of the house because I didn’t want people to think we sneaking off to be alone together. I didn’t want him to go to his car because I didn’t want my family to know that he’s a smoker (and I didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette without me.) I didn’t even want to leave with him because I didn’t want everyone knowing I was going back to his house for the night.
All of my worries were put to rest. My grandfather offered him a beer minutes after he walked through the door and talked to him for hours, not grilling him, but having legitimate conversations about politics and the economy. (This is probably the first boyfriend I’ve ever had that could hold an intelligent conversation with my family) My father came over to where we were sitting and said, “I wanted to let you know that I like you, we all like you, and we’re glad that you can make Erica happy. If your work schedule permitted it would you want to come to Puerto Rico for the week of August 15 with us? Tickets are no problem.”
WTF??? I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my dad’s offering him free trips out of the country? He has never invited my best friends on a trip with us!
If that wasn’t weird enough, I go to the bathroom for a minute and I’m rushing because I don’t want to leave him alone with my family and let them tear him apart…I return to see my boyfriend, grandfather and cousin taking shots together. My grandfather never offers me a drink!
Then my god mother who I respect so much and truly value her opinion told me she thought she was cute and that he had a good steady job and she’s happy for me. My grandmother told me he’s the first guy she ever thought was good enough for me.
After the christening I stopped at my mom’s place. My mom was going to be a little more difficult to accept Mike (even though she has already met him and confirmed that she liked him) because she didn’t have the best impressions of him. When she first met him after dropping me at his house he was high (I doubt she knew though) the second time she met him at a cancer benefit my sorority held on campus he had been drinking before (she smelt the liquor on him immediately) and every fight we have ever had I told my mom every detail about, so she’s a little bias. But last night the two of them bonded over embarrassing photos of my childhood and a friendly rivalry over the Heat vs. Mavericks play off basketball game.
Maybe the dreaded meeting the parents isn’t the huge ordeal we build it up to be in our heads. As much as we hate to hear it parents were our age once, and as much as I hate to admit it, they’re not all clueless. Well at least mine aren’t. Sucks to not be me!
FUCK QUEENS
There are a million and one things that I could despise about working in queens. For example, the hours of traffic I sit in twice a day to get to work and home from work. Or the tumultuous pot holes I hit on every street. But nothing is more inconvenient than the lack of parking. I don’t understand how businesses can get away with not offering parking spaces for their customers and clients.
It is the parking issue that I am going to rant about today. It’s bad enough that in order to shop (aka work) as a reporter in Queens I have to drive my car all over the borough and then hope that I find a miraculous parking without a meter. However, doomsday finally happened last Tuesday and I was forced to park at a meter spot. I think it is ridiculous and unconstitutional that first of all Starbucks doesn’t have a parking lot, but second of all you expect me to pay to park my car on a random street. What service am I receiving for my money? Is someone protecting my car from hooligans? Is someone going to paint over the scratches on my car? Is someone going to vacuum all the crumbs out of my car? NO! So what I am paying for is the right to park my car on a public street? Oh okay I totally get it now.
But then after I park, pay, and place my receipt on the dash board that says I have 2 hours to reside in this parking spot, I return 1 hour later to find a ticket on my windshield. A ticket for not putting my receipt the exact way for the ticketing officer to read it. Now I’ll admit, I’m not savvy to the art of placing a piece of paper on a dashboard. Partially because I don’t drive that often (or I didn’t before my new job) but mostly because in Long Island (where everything makes sense) I am not forced to pay to park my car on the side of road.
What really irks me about this situation is that I put my receipt on the dash at 11:45 a.m. and the ticket was issued to me at 11:52 a.m. which means ticket cop saw me purchase a receipt, saw me put the ticket on the dashboard in a way he wouldn’t like, waited for me to leave and then GAVE ME A FUCKIN TICKET!!!!! What the fuck kind of world are we living in?
First you limit any parking spaces, then any available space must be paid for and even when you put $2 in quarters in the machine you get a $38 ticket anyway.
FUCK YOU QUEENS
It is the parking issue that I am going to rant about today. It’s bad enough that in order to shop (aka work) as a reporter in Queens I have to drive my car all over the borough and then hope that I find a miraculous parking without a meter. However, doomsday finally happened last Tuesday and I was forced to park at a meter spot. I think it is ridiculous and unconstitutional that first of all Starbucks doesn’t have a parking lot, but second of all you expect me to pay to park my car on a random street. What service am I receiving for my money? Is someone protecting my car from hooligans? Is someone going to paint over the scratches on my car? Is someone going to vacuum all the crumbs out of my car? NO! So what I am paying for is the right to park my car on a public street? Oh okay I totally get it now.
But then after I park, pay, and place my receipt on the dash board that says I have 2 hours to reside in this parking spot, I return 1 hour later to find a ticket on my windshield. A ticket for not putting my receipt the exact way for the ticketing officer to read it. Now I’ll admit, I’m not savvy to the art of placing a piece of paper on a dashboard. Partially because I don’t drive that often (or I didn’t before my new job) but mostly because in Long Island (where everything makes sense) I am not forced to pay to park my car on the side of road.
What really irks me about this situation is that I put my receipt on the dash at 11:45 a.m. and the ticket was issued to me at 11:52 a.m. which means ticket cop saw me purchase a receipt, saw me put the ticket on the dashboard in a way he wouldn’t like, waited for me to leave and then GAVE ME A FUCKIN TICKET!!!!! What the fuck kind of world are we living in?
First you limit any parking spaces, then any available space must be paid for and even when you put $2 in quarters in the machine you get a $38 ticket anyway.
FUCK YOU QUEENS
Sunday, May 22, 2011
What She Said/What He Heard
So it's not secret that most men are communicationally challenged. But there is a thin line between being shy, and being stupid. There is only so many ways one (the woman) could say things, id the other (the man) cannot grasp the concept, how long should one (the woman) try to explain. A lot of magazines try and give communication advice to women, we don't need communication advice. I know how to talk, I talk extremely well. It's the men in my life that not only don't know how to voice their opinions and feelings, but they also don't know how to listen. I'm going to share some parts of a conversation that I had earlier today with my boyfriend. You tell me if I was being unclear.
1. I said "I have a lot of things that I need to say, so please let me just say what I got to say and then you can add in when I'm done"
He said, "Okay go ahead."
What he must have heard was "O I"m going to talk but feel free to disregard it and interject whenever you see fit"
Because what he did was interrupt me with every sentence I sad.
2.I said "I don't want to dwell or argue about this, but the way you spoke to me was really uncalled for."
What he must have heard was "I just want to beat a dead horse"
Because what he did was argue about the same shit I said I didn't want to argue about.
3. I said, "I really don't want to break up, I just want you to see where I'm coming from"
What he must have heard was "I'm going to talk your ear off and then dumb you"
Because what he said was "If you want to break up just say it, we don't have to go through everything."
4. I said, "I think you should have done certain things differently."
What he must have heard was "I think I'm perfect and everything you do is wrong."
Because what he did was attack me and my life and complain about his life is full of drama and hardships that I couldn't possibly understand.
5. I said, "I just need you to work on your communication because I can't be in a relationship like this."
What he must have heard was, "I'm threatening you, do this or I'm dumping you."
Because what he did was interrupt me and ask if I was threatening him.
6. I said, "So you can you at least promise to work on your communication skills for the sake of our relationship."
What he must have heard, "Give me the shortest and rudest reply possible, because I enjoy when you hurt my feelings."
Because he said, "I don't know we'll see."
7. I said, "Whatever bye."
What he must have heard was, "Call me back and act like a grown up for 5 minutes"
Because what he did was call me back in like two minutes and apologize for everything.
8. I said, "It's not going to be that easy."
What he must have heard was, "Okay I'm off the hook now."
Because then he tried to be all lovey dovey and shit.
So is it me? Am I the crazy one? Because I believe myself to be a very clear, accurate, and blunt person. I say what I mean, there is no double talk with me. So the question stands....are women hard to understand? Or are men just stupid?
1. I said "I have a lot of things that I need to say, so please let me just say what I got to say and then you can add in when I'm done"
He said, "Okay go ahead."
What he must have heard was "O I"m going to talk but feel free to disregard it and interject whenever you see fit"
Because what he did was interrupt me with every sentence I sad.
2.I said "I don't want to dwell or argue about this, but the way you spoke to me was really uncalled for."
What he must have heard was "I just want to beat a dead horse"
Because what he did was argue about the same shit I said I didn't want to argue about.
3. I said, "I really don't want to break up, I just want you to see where I'm coming from"
What he must have heard was "I'm going to talk your ear off and then dumb you"
Because what he said was "If you want to break up just say it, we don't have to go through everything."
4. I said, "I think you should have done certain things differently."
What he must have heard was "I think I'm perfect and everything you do is wrong."
Because what he did was attack me and my life and complain about his life is full of drama and hardships that I couldn't possibly understand.
5. I said, "I just need you to work on your communication because I can't be in a relationship like this."
What he must have heard was, "I'm threatening you, do this or I'm dumping you."
Because what he did was interrupt me and ask if I was threatening him.
6. I said, "So you can you at least promise to work on your communication skills for the sake of our relationship."
What he must have heard, "Give me the shortest and rudest reply possible, because I enjoy when you hurt my feelings."
Because he said, "I don't know we'll see."
7. I said, "Whatever bye."
What he must have heard was, "Call me back and act like a grown up for 5 minutes"
Because what he did was call me back in like two minutes and apologize for everything.
8. I said, "It's not going to be that easy."
What he must have heard was, "Okay I'm off the hook now."
Because then he tried to be all lovey dovey and shit.
So is it me? Am I the crazy one? Because I believe myself to be a very clear, accurate, and blunt person. I say what I mean, there is no double talk with me. So the question stands....are women hard to understand? Or are men just stupid?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
May 21, 2011
So it has come to my attention that the end of the world starts today. Apparently according to the Bible (of course something so stupid had to come from something just as stupid) And the world is to endure five months of torture before the world comes to a complete end on October 21, 2011.
While I believe in the end of the world just as much as I believe that Spongebob Squarepants is a great heterosexual role model for this nations youth, I choose to entertain this idea for the purposes of my blog.
And to start off, I am going to make a list of reasons why the world should end.
1. crocs
2. people wearing open toed shoes without a pedicure
3. denim jeans with a matching denim jacket
4. denim jeans with mismatching denmin jackets
5. glee
5. buildings with no wheel chair ramp
6. homophobic people
7. racist people
8. knock off designer bags
9. celibate people
10.pregnant teens
11.people who don't use condoms
12.maxi dresses
13.people who can't keep secrets
14.the south
15.adult virgins
16.rapists
17.small dicks
18.floral dresses
19.terrorists
20.a week full of rain
22.bad boyfriends
23.george bush
24.george w. bush
25.perverts
Add ons are welcome....
While I believe in the end of the world just as much as I believe that Spongebob Squarepants is a great heterosexual role model for this nations youth, I choose to entertain this idea for the purposes of my blog.
And to start off, I am going to make a list of reasons why the world should end.
1. crocs
2. people wearing open toed shoes without a pedicure
3. denim jeans with a matching denim jacket
4. denim jeans with mismatching denmin jackets
5. glee
5. buildings with no wheel chair ramp
6. homophobic people
7. racist people
8. knock off designer bags
9. celibate people
10.pregnant teens
11.people who don't use condoms
12.maxi dresses
13.people who can't keep secrets
14.the south
15.adult virgins
16.rapists
17.small dicks
18.floral dresses
19.terrorists
20.a week full of rain
22.bad boyfriends
23.george bush
24.george w. bush
25.perverts
Add ons are welcome....
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Health Tips on the Go
Okay so I am currently trying out weight watchers diet (which is so far a beautiful invention. I never feel deprived of anything but I’m still some how losing weight) Anyway, the fact that I am on weight watchers should clue you into the fact that I am not a skinny a girl, and if you don’t understand words as well there a numerous photos of myself plastered all over this blog that can clarify what I am trying to say. I’m not skinny, I am not trying to get skinny, I do not want to be skinny, and I will never be classified as skinny….I’ve seen skinny girls. It’s kind of sickly looking. A lot of of skinny people don’t look healthy at all. With to ass, tits, thighs, hips….rappers don’t just sing about it because it rhymes ladies, it’s because without those attributes you have a boy figure….and no straight man wants to date a bitch who’s flatter than he is.
Despite what the last few sentences might have sounded like, this entry isn’t about bashing skinny people (it was just a perk out of the entire situation) because to each his own. For example, my mom just lost a massive amount of weight and she was classified as in her healthy weight range for her height. However, after Easter she gained 10lbs and looks fabulous, because when she was at her “healthy weight” she was a size A cup and had lost all form in her ass. Now she wears a C and has her shape back in all the right places, but she would rather lose the 10 pounds and look the way she did before, which is far beyond my understanding.
Anyway, while I am not trying to look anorexic, I am trying to tighten up certain features. My stomach and arms are at the top of my priority list. For women who are in m same position I have developed a few eating and exercise tips that seem to have been working for me.
1. I understand a gym membership is expensive (because my gym costs $40 a month for a year contract) and since we are in a recession (or if you are working at an unpaid internship like I am) there is very little extra spending cash for necessities such as food and clothing, definitely not for luxuries like gym memberships. And there is no need to waste that kind of money, when all the exercise you need is on this great earth. For all you outdoors bitches out there, go on a brisk walk outside, take a hike, go swimming. Now that the weather is nice there is a limitless amount of free options you could take part in to lose weight and be health. If you r an indoor kind of girl try the FitTV network if you have Verizon FiOs. That channel has 24 hours of workout routines that are free! And if you don’t have the channel try buying a workout DVD and seeing how that works out (great play on words.)
2. Getting the necessities for a workout is only part of the problem. If you’re like me, waking up at 7 a.m. working until 6 p.m. not getting home until 8 p.m. and by that time you just want to pass out, finding time to work out is another huge problem. I have incorporated a few ways to lose weight while doing your normal every day activities. I work in queens where parking sucks, so I end parking my car a few blocks away from my office. It takes me between 7 to 10 minutes to walk from my car to the office. I make at least four trips to and from my car a day while at work, so I just added 28 to 40 minutes of exercise to my day without even trying. Another trick is when using public bathrooms don’t create a nest of toilet paper so you can sit on the toilet. Instead squat in front of the toilet. If you use the public rest room 3-5 times a day, and your urination time is the average of 30 seconds, you have done between 1 ½ to 3 minutes of squatting without even trying, which not only burns calories but it shapes you thighs and butt.
3. Eating has always been a huge problem for me. Because I love food, and I never want to deprive myself of food and I never want to feel hungry. I’m never going to be a twigs and berries kind of girl, I like meat and potatoes and rice and all those things that aren’t good for you. But they can be good for you if eaten in the right nmoderation. Last night I ate steak and mashed potatoes without breaking diet. Because the steak was a small serving size, and I only had 1 cup of mashed potatoes. I companied with broccoli and the chips appetizer and I was full for the entire night. So I guess what I’m saying is eat filling foods, have veggies with them, and drink a lot of water because that fills you up as well.
4. I’m not saying calorie count, I’m saying calorie compare. Sure you could have a small fry from McDonald’s and throw away 250 calories on something that will only hold you over for an hours at most, or you could have grilled chicken, rice, and veggies which will amount to the same amount of calories but keep you full for at least 3 hours.
Dieting is hard, so don’t diet, change your lifestyle for the better.
Despite what the last few sentences might have sounded like, this entry isn’t about bashing skinny people (it was just a perk out of the entire situation) because to each his own. For example, my mom just lost a massive amount of weight and she was classified as in her healthy weight range for her height. However, after Easter she gained 10lbs and looks fabulous, because when she was at her “healthy weight” she was a size A cup and had lost all form in her ass. Now she wears a C and has her shape back in all the right places, but she would rather lose the 10 pounds and look the way she did before, which is far beyond my understanding.
Anyway, while I am not trying to look anorexic, I am trying to tighten up certain features. My stomach and arms are at the top of my priority list. For women who are in m same position I have developed a few eating and exercise tips that seem to have been working for me.
1. I understand a gym membership is expensive (because my gym costs $40 a month for a year contract) and since we are in a recession (or if you are working at an unpaid internship like I am) there is very little extra spending cash for necessities such as food and clothing, definitely not for luxuries like gym memberships. And there is no need to waste that kind of money, when all the exercise you need is on this great earth. For all you outdoors bitches out there, go on a brisk walk outside, take a hike, go swimming. Now that the weather is nice there is a limitless amount of free options you could take part in to lose weight and be health. If you r an indoor kind of girl try the FitTV network if you have Verizon FiOs. That channel has 24 hours of workout routines that are free! And if you don’t have the channel try buying a workout DVD and seeing how that works out (great play on words.)
2. Getting the necessities for a workout is only part of the problem. If you’re like me, waking up at 7 a.m. working until 6 p.m. not getting home until 8 p.m. and by that time you just want to pass out, finding time to work out is another huge problem. I have incorporated a few ways to lose weight while doing your normal every day activities. I work in queens where parking sucks, so I end parking my car a few blocks away from my office. It takes me between 7 to 10 minutes to walk from my car to the office. I make at least four trips to and from my car a day while at work, so I just added 28 to 40 minutes of exercise to my day without even trying. Another trick is when using public bathrooms don’t create a nest of toilet paper so you can sit on the toilet. Instead squat in front of the toilet. If you use the public rest room 3-5 times a day, and your urination time is the average of 30 seconds, you have done between 1 ½ to 3 minutes of squatting without even trying, which not only burns calories but it shapes you thighs and butt.
3. Eating has always been a huge problem for me. Because I love food, and I never want to deprive myself of food and I never want to feel hungry. I’m never going to be a twigs and berries kind of girl, I like meat and potatoes and rice and all those things that aren’t good for you. But they can be good for you if eaten in the right nmoderation. Last night I ate steak and mashed potatoes without breaking diet. Because the steak was a small serving size, and I only had 1 cup of mashed potatoes. I companied with broccoli and the chips appetizer and I was full for the entire night. So I guess what I’m saying is eat filling foods, have veggies with them, and drink a lot of water because that fills you up as well.
4. I’m not saying calorie count, I’m saying calorie compare. Sure you could have a small fry from McDonald’s and throw away 250 calories on something that will only hold you over for an hours at most, or you could have grilled chicken, rice, and veggies which will amount to the same amount of calories but keep you full for at least 3 hours.
Dieting is hard, so don’t diet, change your lifestyle for the better.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
DAY 13
I know I'm like months late with the rest of this, but it appears that I am uselees at work right now so I'm going to take advantage of the 13 minutes I have left.
With God As My Witness
This world has become a breeding ground for ‘religilous’ idea.
Never mind the fact that there are so many beliefs and religions in this world you can’t even differentiate between the nonsensical from the down-right stupid.
It was one thing when we had basic Christianity and Judaism, but with Rastafarianism, Mormons, and Scientology it’s more apparent than ever that any religion is just a big joke. And furthermore, if there is a God, he’s probably really annoyed that people keep coming up with more ridiculous ways to worship Him. I know if I were God, (which I sometimes believe myself to be) I’d be pissed if people thought that by going to building (church, temple, whatever you want to call it) and reciting some bogus poetry (prayers) to some child molester (priest) would guarantee such a person of residing in my beautiful Heaven in their after-life……I’d be pissed!
So unlike the religions of the world, I’m not just going to tell you to believe in something with no explanation whatsoever, I have actual methods behind my madness.
Let us first pick apart the Bible.
In Catholicism, people are taught the Jesus was born from a virgin birth. However, that fact is nowhere in the Bible. You would think if one was compiling stories of important events in Jesus’ life, you wouldn’t want to leave out the fact that he was somehow conceived by a virgin. There are two simple explanations for the conception of Jesus.
1. The Virgin Mary was a whore who was throwing her pussy cat and any and everybody, so therefore when she turned up pregnant she decided to make up the whole virgin birth thing. Since the men she slept with were all married and weren’t going to set the record straight there was no one to contrast her story.
2. God raped The Virgin Mary and didn’t want to be known as a rapist so he made up the virgin birth story to keep his name clean. And The Virgin Mary was too embarrassed to dispute it (because you know how rape victims are.
While we’re still on the subject of the Bible, even if you could get passed the fact that Mary was a whore or God was a rapist, could you really believe in something that was based on so much racism, sexism, abuse and hypocrisy? The Bible endorses slavery and domestic violence. There is a line in the Bible that tells us it is okay to beat your wife with a stick as long as it is no thicker than your thumb. In Catholicism we are taught God loves everyone. I guess homosexuals don’t count, at least not according to the Bible.
And if there is a Jesus, I’m sorry for all you racist honkeys out there, BUT HE IS NOT WHITE! If we are going to follow the Bible, Jesus was from Egypt, which is in Africa. You can’t go to church, have a bible and have a picture of white Jesus in your living room, it’s sacrilegious.
Okay I’m getting a little tired of picking on Catholics, what about Muslims? If September 11 wasn’t a huge wake- up call on how dangerous this religion is, let me open your eyes. Muslims want us to believe that there are just a few radical thinkers in a bunch of relatively normal believers, which is not the case. When was the last time a Jew killed anyone for disagreeing about something in the Torah? Well I don’t really know, but there’s no way Jewish people can double as accountants AND murderers. Muslims have been killing there own kind for years for writing certain books or singing certain songs. Once they can kill one of their own, the lines of decency have been crossed and everyone is a target. (Don’t get me started on black on black crime.)
We don’t even have to talk about religion, we can just talk about people. Why do people say “thank God” every time something good happens. But when something bad happens no one ever says “blame God” the excuse is always “everything happens for a reason.” What the fuck kind of logic is that. So if my friend dies of cancer, it was for a reason unbeknownst to any of us, but if she survives rather than thank the doctor, I’m to “thank god?” Something about this situation isn’t sitting right with me.
And if there is a God, how lazy can he be? There’s war and shit going down here buddy, maybe you want to snap your fingers and make it all go away…thanks for all your support.
Then again, if I were God I would let the world go to shit every once in awhile so that I can be entertained.
Wouldn’t it suck if right after posting this God literally came down here, and slit my throat? He’s capable of that shit, read the Bible.
Amen
Never mind the fact that there are so many beliefs and religions in this world you can’t even differentiate between the nonsensical from the down-right stupid.
It was one thing when we had basic Christianity and Judaism, but with Rastafarianism, Mormons, and Scientology it’s more apparent than ever that any religion is just a big joke. And furthermore, if there is a God, he’s probably really annoyed that people keep coming up with more ridiculous ways to worship Him. I know if I were God, (which I sometimes believe myself to be) I’d be pissed if people thought that by going to building (church, temple, whatever you want to call it) and reciting some bogus poetry (prayers) to some child molester (priest) would guarantee such a person of residing in my beautiful Heaven in their after-life……I’d be pissed!
So unlike the religions of the world, I’m not just going to tell you to believe in something with no explanation whatsoever, I have actual methods behind my madness.
Let us first pick apart the Bible.
In Catholicism, people are taught the Jesus was born from a virgin birth. However, that fact is nowhere in the Bible. You would think if one was compiling stories of important events in Jesus’ life, you wouldn’t want to leave out the fact that he was somehow conceived by a virgin. There are two simple explanations for the conception of Jesus.
1. The Virgin Mary was a whore who was throwing her pussy cat and any and everybody, so therefore when she turned up pregnant she decided to make up the whole virgin birth thing. Since the men she slept with were all married and weren’t going to set the record straight there was no one to contrast her story.
2. God raped The Virgin Mary and didn’t want to be known as a rapist so he made up the virgin birth story to keep his name clean. And The Virgin Mary was too embarrassed to dispute it (because you know how rape victims are.
While we’re still on the subject of the Bible, even if you could get passed the fact that Mary was a whore or God was a rapist, could you really believe in something that was based on so much racism, sexism, abuse and hypocrisy? The Bible endorses slavery and domestic violence. There is a line in the Bible that tells us it is okay to beat your wife with a stick as long as it is no thicker than your thumb. In Catholicism we are taught God loves everyone. I guess homosexuals don’t count, at least not according to the Bible.
And if there is a Jesus, I’m sorry for all you racist honkeys out there, BUT HE IS NOT WHITE! If we are going to follow the Bible, Jesus was from Egypt, which is in Africa. You can’t go to church, have a bible and have a picture of white Jesus in your living room, it’s sacrilegious.
Okay I’m getting a little tired of picking on Catholics, what about Muslims? If September 11 wasn’t a huge wake- up call on how dangerous this religion is, let me open your eyes. Muslims want us to believe that there are just a few radical thinkers in a bunch of relatively normal believers, which is not the case. When was the last time a Jew killed anyone for disagreeing about something in the Torah? Well I don’t really know, but there’s no way Jewish people can double as accountants AND murderers. Muslims have been killing there own kind for years for writing certain books or singing certain songs. Once they can kill one of their own, the lines of decency have been crossed and everyone is a target. (Don’t get me started on black on black crime.)
We don’t even have to talk about religion, we can just talk about people. Why do people say “thank God” every time something good happens. But when something bad happens no one ever says “blame God” the excuse is always “everything happens for a reason.” What the fuck kind of logic is that. So if my friend dies of cancer, it was for a reason unbeknownst to any of us, but if she survives rather than thank the doctor, I’m to “thank god?” Something about this situation isn’t sitting right with me.
And if there is a God, how lazy can he be? There’s war and shit going down here buddy, maybe you want to snap your fingers and make it all go away…thanks for all your support.
Then again, if I were God I would let the world go to shit every once in awhile so that I can be entertained.
Wouldn’t it suck if right after posting this God literally came down here, and slit my throat? He’s capable of that shit, read the Bible.
Amen
Sunday, May 15, 2011
My Guide To Parenthood
It seems like millions of authors are getting rich quick from parenting books. Even if you don't have the money to spend on a five pound book you can google anything these days. So the question remains why are so many parents being arrested for negligence and abuse of their children? I think the reason is because most parenting books are written by 60 year old grandparents who haven't dealt with the problems of parenting in approximately 30 years.
Don't worry, I'm here to help, a 21 year old college senior who has never had kids, and never wants them. I am going to give you all the best parenting advice that ever lived.
LESSON ONE
Babies cry. There is no need to dote on them every single time the little bugger makes a peep. I'm not saying to neglect the child. But if you try feeding it and changing it and playing with it, maybe the little niglets just spoiled. And by you constantly giving it attention every single time it whimpers isn't making the situation any better.
LESSON TWO
Disciplining young children is most affective when hitting is involved. Lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten. Just to reiterate, I am not suggesting abusing your child. However, if a two year old child is constantly running into your medicine cabinet, you can't reason and explain to it why it is so dangerous. The only thing that kid is going to understand is a slap on the hand or on the buttocks. Keep in mind that a punch in the head or stomach will be considered child abuse, you will be arrested and prosecuted to fullest extent of the law...and I do not take responsibility for that.
LESSON THREE
One of the reasons so many parents abuse their children is because they spend way too much time with them. Get your kids into activities. Think about it, if it's in school until 3pm, get some extracurricular activities going. Believe me, as little as you want your kids at home, that's as little as they want to be there. Put them in dance, or gymnastics, or football, or whatever would be gender friendly to your particular child.
LESSON FOUR
Now that we have pretty much taken care of the years from birth to adolescence, let's tackle the teen years. I've heard so much parenting advice relating to privacy. It is very important for your teen to believe that you respect their privacy. The word to pay attention to is think. I was a teenager not too long ago, and believe me too much privacy is a breeding ground for your teen to get into sex, drugs, and alcohol. However, if you make it obvious that you don't give them any privacy they are going to think you don't trust them, which will shut down all lines of communication, which is not good!
That being said, you don't trust your teen. Trusting your teen is the biggest mistake you could make. This is going to sound extremely cliche, but as long as it is living under your roof, it should follow your rules.
Therefore, one way to ensure you and your teen have an open and healthy relationship, read it's personal information. For example, if you're going through their room to clean (aka snoop) don't be afraid to check their facebook or twitter or diary. What they don't know won't hurt them and what you find out could save their lives!
The second part of this snooping that is where most parents fuck up is the don't say shit part. Once you have found out certain information, you can't use it because you can't let your teen know you snooped. You can use it as a guide to help you in the future, and to know exactly what they are capable of. But you can't punish them for something you only knew because you were creeping.
LESSON FIVE
Remember those lines of communication we were talking about earlier? While they are important, they are not always necessary. A lot of parents want to push their kids to talk to them all the time. Do you really have nothing better to do that you really want to talk to 15 year old all day? If your kid is giving you the silent treatment, thank your lucky fuckin stars you don't have to listen to it bitch about the most important thing that happened in 7th period today.
LESSON SIX
So you know how I said if your child is living under your roof it follows your rules? That doesn't really apply once the kid is 18 and working or going to school. Sure there are some rules you implement like there's no fucking and drinking or whatever, but curfews and shit isn't going to fly and you will just push you adult child away. If that is what you want, go for it, but for a healthy relationship you need to give your adult room to grow!!
Look I just condensed all those huge useless books into one internet blog! I think this will be helpful because I am still a kid a heart, and I think I know what kids need. So for all those cliche's saying parenthood is so hard because there is no instructions manual....EAT THIS
Don't worry, I'm here to help, a 21 year old college senior who has never had kids, and never wants them. I am going to give you all the best parenting advice that ever lived.
LESSON ONE
Babies cry. There is no need to dote on them every single time the little bugger makes a peep. I'm not saying to neglect the child. But if you try feeding it and changing it and playing with it, maybe the little niglets just spoiled. And by you constantly giving it attention every single time it whimpers isn't making the situation any better.
LESSON TWO
Disciplining young children is most affective when hitting is involved. Lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten. Just to reiterate, I am not suggesting abusing your child. However, if a two year old child is constantly running into your medicine cabinet, you can't reason and explain to it why it is so dangerous. The only thing that kid is going to understand is a slap on the hand or on the buttocks. Keep in mind that a punch in the head or stomach will be considered child abuse, you will be arrested and prosecuted to fullest extent of the law...and I do not take responsibility for that.
LESSON THREE
One of the reasons so many parents abuse their children is because they spend way too much time with them. Get your kids into activities. Think about it, if it's in school until 3pm, get some extracurricular activities going. Believe me, as little as you want your kids at home, that's as little as they want to be there. Put them in dance, or gymnastics, or football, or whatever would be gender friendly to your particular child.
LESSON FOUR
Now that we have pretty much taken care of the years from birth to adolescence, let's tackle the teen years. I've heard so much parenting advice relating to privacy. It is very important for your teen to believe that you respect their privacy. The word to pay attention to is think. I was a teenager not too long ago, and believe me too much privacy is a breeding ground for your teen to get into sex, drugs, and alcohol. However, if you make it obvious that you don't give them any privacy they are going to think you don't trust them, which will shut down all lines of communication, which is not good!
That being said, you don't trust your teen. Trusting your teen is the biggest mistake you could make. This is going to sound extremely cliche, but as long as it is living under your roof, it should follow your rules.
Therefore, one way to ensure you and your teen have an open and healthy relationship, read it's personal information. For example, if you're going through their room to clean (aka snoop) don't be afraid to check their facebook or twitter or diary. What they don't know won't hurt them and what you find out could save their lives!
The second part of this snooping that is where most parents fuck up is the don't say shit part. Once you have found out certain information, you can't use it because you can't let your teen know you snooped. You can use it as a guide to help you in the future, and to know exactly what they are capable of. But you can't punish them for something you only knew because you were creeping.
LESSON FIVE
Remember those lines of communication we were talking about earlier? While they are important, they are not always necessary. A lot of parents want to push their kids to talk to them all the time. Do you really have nothing better to do that you really want to talk to 15 year old all day? If your kid is giving you the silent treatment, thank your lucky fuckin stars you don't have to listen to it bitch about the most important thing that happened in 7th period today.
LESSON SIX
So you know how I said if your child is living under your roof it follows your rules? That doesn't really apply once the kid is 18 and working or going to school. Sure there are some rules you implement like there's no fucking and drinking or whatever, but curfews and shit isn't going to fly and you will just push you adult child away. If that is what you want, go for it, but for a healthy relationship you need to give your adult room to grow!!
Look I just condensed all those huge useless books into one internet blog! I think this will be helpful because I am still a kid a heart, and I think I know what kids need. So for all those cliche's saying parenthood is so hard because there is no instructions manual....EAT THIS
Monday, April 11, 2011
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
How do you know if you're moving too fast in a relationship?
When watching the movie 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' we see how women can drive men away by getting too comfortable too quickly. However how do you know what is considered too fast for a guy? How do you know when a guy is moving fast on his own, or when he's moving fast because he thinks your moving fast and he's trying to catch up?
I basically spend as much time as possible with my boyfriend and we've only been together for a couple of months, so it is a general rule to make yourself less available so that a guy who is relatively new in your life won't get bored and lose interest. But he's the one that is making most of the invitations. He says he wants to spend like every day with me, and for the first time that doesn't freak me out. And so we do almost everything together. We have a lot of the same interests, and even if we don't we try new things to make each other happy. We've hung out with each others friends and met each others families, but theres more!!!
Also in the above mentioned movie, we see that men get uneasy when women try to control and be a part of every aspect of their lives. This is especially seen in the scene where the woman moves all her girlie items into her new boyfriends bachelor pad. She puts stuffed animals on his bed, pink decorations in the hallways, and tampons in his bathroom!!!!! I think we can all agree that that is going way too far.
But what if it's the guy that's slowly moving/or keeping some of your things at his place?
A few weeks ago I left a tank top at my boyfriends house and he washed it, and put it in an empty drawer. He also added a pair of his sweatpants and t shirts for me to wear when I'm sleeping over. Yesterday, he purchased a toothbrush and loofah for me to keep in his bathroom so I wouldn't have to bring my things back and forth. He also told me that he's moving next month and wants me to help with the decorating.
Over the past few nights he started saying the sweetest things. First he was bringing up future plans, not too far into the future but just things like over the summer, and next semester. And usually I would think that's weird because who plans on having someone else in their life for that long? But I find myself making plans with him. One night this weekend I swear he said he loved me as we were going to bed, but we were both really fucked up so I wasn't going to bring it up if he wasn't. And perhaps the sweetest thing he said, sober, was that he didn't want to go to sleep because because he knew that would mean he wouldn't see me until the morning when it was time to take me home and we wanted to spend the most amount of time with me as possible.
So I feel like we're moving in a great direction but we're moving in it too fast. But I also don't want to slow down....that is my dilemma.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I MADE A MISTAKE
my new blog is sexisyourfriend.blogspot.com and the site is called SEXcapades <3 Have Fun <3
They're Good For Something
So while you would think that ex-boyfriends are not good for anything, I have found a use for them, and no I am not referring to late night booty calls.
I am currently in a new relationship, and while I would like to believe that I am the perfect companion, I have to face the facts that I do fuck up in my relationships. And who is there better to tell you how, why, or what you did to fuck up than you ex boyfriend?
This might sound like a awkward project because it means actually conversing with someone I used to to have intimate feelings for, but not only will it not be awkward, but one of my ex-boyfriends actually gave me the idea.
So I would like to conduct this experiment with some form of organization and class....I would also like a million dollars but that shit isn't going to happen either. That being said, I'm going to attempt to give each guys explanation in the chronological order in which I dated him. But it's been a few years and I don't have the best memories (and some of them weren't really important) and some of them I can't talk to at all anyway so I'm going to make up what I would assume they would say.
So the list is as follows:
My 1st Love
Mr All Wrong For Me
Says All The Right Things
NUTCASE
Never Quite What it Seems
Probably Was Perfect For Me
Met Him At Work
My Current
If there's anymore boyfriends I forgot.....take that as a hint.
My 1st Love and I were together on and off for like a decade. (Well seven years) and I can't ask him why he thinks we broke up because he stopped talking to me. So I'm just going to say why we did, without any concern for his opinion.
He didn't love me the way he used to. I really believe he fell in love with someone else but he didn't have the balls to tell me. So rather than just be a man and dump me to my face he'd rather stop talking to me right around Thanksgiving, and then not talk to me during Christmas, and then miss my 21st birthday. That's why we're not together, that's why we're not friends, that's why we don't have any kind of relationship.
When me and my 1st love weren't together, me and Mr All Wrong For Me would start dating. We first started when I was 14 and he was 17. This guy was completely all about sex, and when we first met I was a virgin. When we started dating again when I was 16 we did become sexually active and he started cheating on me. (Which I obviously didn't know) He was also very unmotivated and had no aspirations for his future. He's doing great now but five or six years ago he wasn't the best guy for me.
I would ask him what he thought about the situation, but when I told him I had a boyfriend he blocked me from his life so I don't know what to do about that one. But I wish him the best and we always had fun when we weren't fighting.
Mr Says All The Right things lives up to his title. To this day he knows exactly what to say to me. I don't know why he thinks we broke up because when I asked him he said "seriously" and then ignored me, so I'm going to have to improvise this one as well.
We broke up because he was just a sweet talker. I don't think any of the feelings he says he had for me were real and if they were I couldn't tell because he said the same things to every girl. Even now everything he says is some sort of insurance policy to seal the deal into have sexual intercourse. I wish him all the luck in his future relationships, but that's something I have told him about and hope he took my advice.
With Never Quite It Seems he says the reason we didn't work is because at the time we were together he he was working and living in the Hamptons and we didn't get to see each other. That's kind of the cop out answer. Because when he came back from the Hamptons we never tried to get back together. The real reason we broke up is because he didn't want it. I gave him an ultimatum which forced him to either be in a relationship or stop having sex with me, so obviously we started dating. But his heart wasn't in it. So we weren't a match..We are great friends though. And the sex was amazing.
The guy who was Probably Perfect For Me I dated really quickly on the rebound, he was so sweet. He did everything he possibly could for me. And I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I broke up with him when I met the next guy. I think it was because he told me he loved me very early on and I was afraid he actually meant it. But I can't ask him either because he wouldn't be friends with me after I broke up with him.
Met Him At Work is pretty simple. He says he thinks we were better off as friends with benefits, and we were. We went out, we had fun, we cuddled, but I was always able to talk to him as a friend. Even today he gives me relationship advice with my new boyfriend. (He was also the one who gave me this blog idea.)
The NUTCASE is the reason I had to change my phone number, and for legal/safety reasons I do not want to contact him for any reason. But the reason we broke up is because he's a nutcase. He threatened my life on numerous occasions. He can't control himself in any sense of the word and I couldn't take it anymore.
I did this whole thing for My Current boyfriend. We have only been officially together for a very short time and I don't want to mess up this relationship the way I've messed up my passed relationships. I didn't realize until after the experiment was done that I didn't get much feedback. So I'm going to be honest with myself and own up to my mistakes.
My number one mistake is that I have been unfaithful. And I don't know what it is about my personality. The sex in a relationship would be amazing, but somehow I would cheat anyway. My boyfriends knows this about me, and he also knows that I will not do that to him. I haven't dated someone full on since my freshman year in college, so I would say that I've matured.
I'm also impatient. I just got into a fight with my boyfriend over the weekend and I wanted answers right away. The reason we were fighting happened Saturday morning and by Saturday afternoon I desperately wanted answers and I didn't give him enough time to think.
I scare easily. If something isn't absolutely perfect in a relationship I automatically run away. I don't want to work through problems, I want there to be no problems. And that is very unrealistic.
If I'm not cheating I'm very flirtatious.
I'm very unattached. I purposely don't try to get to know people a lot because I think they're not going to last long in my life anyway. So I never get as close as I should to the guys I date.
I can't forgive people. Even if I somehow move past something he did wrong (which I rarely ever do) I never forgive him for it and it just eats away at me until the next argument occurs.
And I think the biggest relationship flaw I have is that I don't trust people. So any relationship I ever have is never based on the right foundation.
Fixing all these problems is probably impossible. But I am acknowledging them and hoping for the best with my new boyfriend 2.21.11 <3
I am currently in a new relationship, and while I would like to believe that I am the perfect companion, I have to face the facts that I do fuck up in my relationships. And who is there better to tell you how, why, or what you did to fuck up than you ex boyfriend?
This might sound like a awkward project because it means actually conversing with someone I used to to have intimate feelings for, but not only will it not be awkward, but one of my ex-boyfriends actually gave me the idea.
So I would like to conduct this experiment with some form of organization and class....I would also like a million dollars but that shit isn't going to happen either. That being said, I'm going to attempt to give each guys explanation in the chronological order in which I dated him. But it's been a few years and I don't have the best memories (and some of them weren't really important) and some of them I can't talk to at all anyway so I'm going to make up what I would assume they would say.
So the list is as follows:
My 1st Love
Mr All Wrong For Me
Says All The Right Things
NUTCASE
Never Quite What it Seems
Probably Was Perfect For Me
Met Him At Work
My Current
If there's anymore boyfriends I forgot.....take that as a hint.
My 1st Love and I were together on and off for like a decade. (Well seven years) and I can't ask him why he thinks we broke up because he stopped talking to me. So I'm just going to say why we did, without any concern for his opinion.
He didn't love me the way he used to. I really believe he fell in love with someone else but he didn't have the balls to tell me. So rather than just be a man and dump me to my face he'd rather stop talking to me right around Thanksgiving, and then not talk to me during Christmas, and then miss my 21st birthday. That's why we're not together, that's why we're not friends, that's why we don't have any kind of relationship.
When me and my 1st love weren't together, me and Mr All Wrong For Me would start dating. We first started when I was 14 and he was 17. This guy was completely all about sex, and when we first met I was a virgin. When we started dating again when I was 16 we did become sexually active and he started cheating on me. (Which I obviously didn't know) He was also very unmotivated and had no aspirations for his future. He's doing great now but five or six years ago he wasn't the best guy for me.
I would ask him what he thought about the situation, but when I told him I had a boyfriend he blocked me from his life so I don't know what to do about that one. But I wish him the best and we always had fun when we weren't fighting.
Mr Says All The Right things lives up to his title. To this day he knows exactly what to say to me. I don't know why he thinks we broke up because when I asked him he said "seriously" and then ignored me, so I'm going to have to improvise this one as well.
We broke up because he was just a sweet talker. I don't think any of the feelings he says he had for me were real and if they were I couldn't tell because he said the same things to every girl. Even now everything he says is some sort of insurance policy to seal the deal into have sexual intercourse. I wish him all the luck in his future relationships, but that's something I have told him about and hope he took my advice.
With Never Quite It Seems he says the reason we didn't work is because at the time we were together he he was working and living in the Hamptons and we didn't get to see each other. That's kind of the cop out answer. Because when he came back from the Hamptons we never tried to get back together. The real reason we broke up is because he didn't want it. I gave him an ultimatum which forced him to either be in a relationship or stop having sex with me, so obviously we started dating. But his heart wasn't in it. So we weren't a match..We are great friends though. And the sex was amazing.
The guy who was Probably Perfect For Me I dated really quickly on the rebound, he was so sweet. He did everything he possibly could for me. And I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I broke up with him when I met the next guy. I think it was because he told me he loved me very early on and I was afraid he actually meant it. But I can't ask him either because he wouldn't be friends with me after I broke up with him.
Met Him At Work is pretty simple. He says he thinks we were better off as friends with benefits, and we were. We went out, we had fun, we cuddled, but I was always able to talk to him as a friend. Even today he gives me relationship advice with my new boyfriend. (He was also the one who gave me this blog idea.)
The NUTCASE is the reason I had to change my phone number, and for legal/safety reasons I do not want to contact him for any reason. But the reason we broke up is because he's a nutcase. He threatened my life on numerous occasions. He can't control himself in any sense of the word and I couldn't take it anymore.
I did this whole thing for My Current boyfriend. We have only been officially together for a very short time and I don't want to mess up this relationship the way I've messed up my passed relationships. I didn't realize until after the experiment was done that I didn't get much feedback. So I'm going to be honest with myself and own up to my mistakes.
My number one mistake is that I have been unfaithful. And I don't know what it is about my personality. The sex in a relationship would be amazing, but somehow I would cheat anyway. My boyfriends knows this about me, and he also knows that I will not do that to him. I haven't dated someone full on since my freshman year in college, so I would say that I've matured.
I'm also impatient. I just got into a fight with my boyfriend over the weekend and I wanted answers right away. The reason we were fighting happened Saturday morning and by Saturday afternoon I desperately wanted answers and I didn't give him enough time to think.
I scare easily. If something isn't absolutely perfect in a relationship I automatically run away. I don't want to work through problems, I want there to be no problems. And that is very unrealistic.
If I'm not cheating I'm very flirtatious.
I'm very unattached. I purposely don't try to get to know people a lot because I think they're not going to last long in my life anyway. So I never get as close as I should to the guys I date.
I can't forgive people. Even if I somehow move past something he did wrong (which I rarely ever do) I never forgive him for it and it just eats away at me until the next argument occurs.
And I think the biggest relationship flaw I have is that I don't trust people. So any relationship I ever have is never based on the right foundation.
Fixing all these problems is probably impossible. But I am acknowledging them and hoping for the best with my new boyfriend 2.21.11 <3
Sunday, March 27, 2011
He Strikes Again
I don't even have to say who I'm talking about, because everyone will know.
A certain R&B singer beat up his R&B singer girlfriend before a certain musical awards show. He went to anger management and he wanted to convince the world that he had changed, and he had his anger under control and he was no longer that person.
The same guy goes on Good Morning America and is interviewed about his new album. During the interview the 60-year-old reporter asks him about Rihanna and he gets agitated with the elderly woman. If that wasn't bad enough, he went to his room backstage and destroyed it, breaking a window.
Then he had a press release where he made excuses and gave a weak apology.
Changed man? Or abusive psycho?
You decide.
Because I already did.
A certain R&B singer beat up his R&B singer girlfriend before a certain musical awards show. He went to anger management and he wanted to convince the world that he had changed, and he had his anger under control and he was no longer that person.
The same guy goes on Good Morning America and is interviewed about his new album. During the interview the 60-year-old reporter asks him about Rihanna and he gets agitated with the elderly woman. If that wasn't bad enough, he went to his room backstage and destroyed it, breaking a window.
Then he had a press release where he made excuses and gave a weak apology.
Changed man? Or abusive psycho?
You decide.
Because I already did.
When Is It Too Soon
There are three little words that you think everyone wants to hear when they are in a relationship with someone.
"I Love You"
But those words carry a lot of meaning, or at least, there supposed to. I remember in high school I started dating this guy, and on the first day of our relationship he said "let's just start this early and get it over with, so I love you." And I was like....."oh okay love you too."
That's not the way most people want to share those words.
Clearly saying it on the first date is not only stupid, but it's really creepy.
But when is the right time to say it?
When do you know you love someone?
Is it after a month?
Two months.
Three months.
A year.
A lifetime?
Sometime you think you have strong feelings for someone, but when can you tell if it's love?
Anyone with answers is urged to email me.
"I Love You"
But those words carry a lot of meaning, or at least, there supposed to. I remember in high school I started dating this guy, and on the first day of our relationship he said "let's just start this early and get it over with, so I love you." And I was like....."oh okay love you too."
That's not the way most people want to share those words.
Clearly saying it on the first date is not only stupid, but it's really creepy.
But when is the right time to say it?
When do you know you love someone?
Is it after a month?
Two months.
Three months.
A year.
A lifetime?
Sometime you think you have strong feelings for someone, but when can you tell if it's love?
Anyone with answers is urged to email me.
Tonic East
I have been someone of color my entire life, last night at Tonic East bar in NYC was the first time I had experienced racism.
I went to the bar last night to celebrate my sorority sister's 22nd birthday. We were drinking before hand and I had a water bottle of vodka/water/lime juice in my purse. I smoked a cigarette before getting on the line so I could scope out the bouncers and see if he was checking bag or anything. He wasn't. So I left the bottle in my bag so I could drink it inside the bar.
Then as soon as I woke up there he makes me open my bag. He says there are no water bottles allowed. So I immediately offer to throw it out. Before I can even throw it out he grabs it out of my hand and smells it. He says theres alcohol in it (which is true but you can't smell it because the lime juice is so acidic the smell is plain citrus) and that he can't let me in at all. So I'm like even if there was alcohol in it I'm throwing it out so why would I not be allowed in at all. The entire time my sorority sisters are outside with me arguing with the bouncer. While this is happening he allows three girls after me (three white girls) with water bottles inside. He either let them chug it or throw it out. So now I'm getting really sad mixed in with my anger it was clear that he was a racist and the only reason it was different for me was because I'm not white. I had to call the manager and explain everything to him. '
When I got in I couldn't even have fun anymore. I was so sad. I have never been treated like that in my life. I'm never the person to call the race card. I guess in my naive mind I thought all the prejudices in the past were so far back in history that there is no way that in NYC (one of the most diverse places in the world) I would experience a white man treating me like I was less than he was. Every time I heard a person of color claim they weren't able to do something or get something because they were discriminated against I thought it was a cop out. I thought they were making excuses. I thought it's 2011, our president is black, and everyone has the same rights at this point of time.
But that's not true. We don't all have the same rights. I've joked around with racist jokes before because first of all I'm not white so I can do that, and second of all I never really meant it. But there all people in the world that do mean what they are saying, and it is painful.
I feel like I'm prepared for everything when I go out. I'm prepared for perverted guys and jealous bitches, but I was never prepared for racism. And I shouldn't have to be. But the reality of the situation is.....that I need to be.
And if racism wasn't enough, at Tonic the employees are rude. Many of them push through paying customers without even so much as an "I'm sorry" or an "Excuse me."
The drinks were $10 for a small, thin cup. I was better off keeping my bottle and staying the fuck home.
The bottom line is if you want expensive drinks, rude service and racism Tonic East is the place for you.
I went to the bar last night to celebrate my sorority sister's 22nd birthday. We were drinking before hand and I had a water bottle of vodka/water/lime juice in my purse. I smoked a cigarette before getting on the line so I could scope out the bouncers and see if he was checking bag or anything. He wasn't. So I left the bottle in my bag so I could drink it inside the bar.
Then as soon as I woke up there he makes me open my bag. He says there are no water bottles allowed. So I immediately offer to throw it out. Before I can even throw it out he grabs it out of my hand and smells it. He says theres alcohol in it (which is true but you can't smell it because the lime juice is so acidic the smell is plain citrus) and that he can't let me in at all. So I'm like even if there was alcohol in it I'm throwing it out so why would I not be allowed in at all. The entire time my sorority sisters are outside with me arguing with the bouncer. While this is happening he allows three girls after me (three white girls) with water bottles inside. He either let them chug it or throw it out. So now I'm getting really sad mixed in with my anger it was clear that he was a racist and the only reason it was different for me was because I'm not white. I had to call the manager and explain everything to him. '
When I got in I couldn't even have fun anymore. I was so sad. I have never been treated like that in my life. I'm never the person to call the race card. I guess in my naive mind I thought all the prejudices in the past were so far back in history that there is no way that in NYC (one of the most diverse places in the world) I would experience a white man treating me like I was less than he was. Every time I heard a person of color claim they weren't able to do something or get something because they were discriminated against I thought it was a cop out. I thought they were making excuses. I thought it's 2011, our president is black, and everyone has the same rights at this point of time.
But that's not true. We don't all have the same rights. I've joked around with racist jokes before because first of all I'm not white so I can do that, and second of all I never really meant it. But there all people in the world that do mean what they are saying, and it is painful.
I feel like I'm prepared for everything when I go out. I'm prepared for perverted guys and jealous bitches, but I was never prepared for racism. And I shouldn't have to be. But the reality of the situation is.....that I need to be.
And if racism wasn't enough, at Tonic the employees are rude. Many of them push through paying customers without even so much as an "I'm sorry" or an "Excuse me."
The drinks were $10 for a small, thin cup. I was better off keeping my bottle and staying the fuck home.
The bottom line is if you want expensive drinks, rude service and racism Tonic East is the place for you.
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Fun Doesn't Stop Here
Good news everyone!
I have decided to start another blog.
I love ranting on this blog about shit that really annoys me, but on my new blog I am going to talk about something that I enjoy....SEX!
The new blog is called SEXcapades, and it can be found on www.sexcapades.blogspot.com
Follow it
Love it
If you have any sexy stories you want to share to have posted on the site and I would be happy to rephrase it and make it sound better than it was so it won't embarrass me to have on my blog.
While I am starting a new chapter in my life, this chapter will not be neglected. Because while I love sex, I hate a lot of other things.
I have decided to start another blog.
I love ranting on this blog about shit that really annoys me, but on my new blog I am going to talk about something that I enjoy....SEX!
The new blog is called SEXcapades, and it can be found on www.sexcapades.blogspot.com
Follow it
Love it
If you have any sexy stories you want to share to have posted on the site and I would be happy to rephrase it and make it sound better than it was so it won't embarrass me to have on my blog.
While I am starting a new chapter in my life, this chapter will not be neglected. Because while I love sex, I hate a lot of other things.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
My Resume
I'm a junior in college and it's getting close to that time when I'm going to be ejected from the safety of my parents home and undergraduate classes, and forced to figure what I want for my life. For years I have been participating in activities and flourishing at school to prepare for my future. But now that my future is literally right around the corner I realize that I do not have the experience to live in the real world.
Today, I was attempting to create a resume so that I could apply for internships and jobs for this summer when I realized that I have lived on this earth for 21 years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.
I have done nothing to indicate that I belong in the professional world.
A traditional resume starts with your education. In this portion I would right that I graduated from Copiague High School (a less than decent Long Island high school) and that I attend St. John's University (with an average GPA.) As for awards and scholarships, I received honor roll my freshman and sophomore year of high school, and a journalism award my senior year, and I also receive a $12,000 scholarship to St. Johns.
With education, it is customary to include a list of extracurricular activities. In high school I was cheerleader captain (of a horrible squad) editor of the school paper (a really bad paper) and a member of the color guard team (which was always over shadowed by the award winning band we performed next team.) At St. Johns I write for the newspaper and am a valued member of Kappa Phi Beta (which is a notorious party sorority.)
Next on the resume would be work experience. I worked at Adventureland (a Long Island amusement park) for two summers and I worked at TJMaxx (a gross discount clothing store) for four years.
Then if you have any special skills, it is normal to put that on your resume as well. Such as how many words you type a minute, or PowerPoint, excel, and Microsoft word experience. However, for my special skills I should just write sex, because that is something I'm really good at.
Actually if I wanted to be honest....my resume would look a little more like this:
I have smoked bud, I blew lines, I've taken E, I've also taken numerous pain killers. I started drinking when I was 15 and the problem has just progressed. I go to St. Johns where I live right around the corner from a bar. I'm a double major in partying and sex. In fact I've probably had sex with more guys then there are letters in the alphabet. So am I hired?
Today, I was attempting to create a resume so that I could apply for internships and jobs for this summer when I realized that I have lived on this earth for 21 years and I have absolutely nothing to show for it.
I have done nothing to indicate that I belong in the professional world.
A traditional resume starts with your education. In this portion I would right that I graduated from Copiague High School (a less than decent Long Island high school) and that I attend St. John's University (with an average GPA.) As for awards and scholarships, I received honor roll my freshman and sophomore year of high school, and a journalism award my senior year, and I also receive a $12,000 scholarship to St. Johns.
With education, it is customary to include a list of extracurricular activities. In high school I was cheerleader captain (of a horrible squad) editor of the school paper (a really bad paper) and a member of the color guard team (which was always over shadowed by the award winning band we performed next team.) At St. Johns I write for the newspaper and am a valued member of Kappa Phi Beta (which is a notorious party sorority.)
Next on the resume would be work experience. I worked at Adventureland (a Long Island amusement park) for two summers and I worked at TJMaxx (a gross discount clothing store) for four years.
Then if you have any special skills, it is normal to put that on your resume as well. Such as how many words you type a minute, or PowerPoint, excel, and Microsoft word experience. However, for my special skills I should just write sex, because that is something I'm really good at.
Actually if I wanted to be honest....my resume would look a little more like this:
I have smoked bud, I blew lines, I've taken E, I've also taken numerous pain killers. I started drinking when I was 15 and the problem has just progressed. I go to St. Johns where I live right around the corner from a bar. I'm a double major in partying and sex. In fact I've probably had sex with more guys then there are letters in the alphabet. So am I hired?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day 2
A picture of me and whose been with me the longest is (not the bottle of jose cuervo...even though it was a close second) this little white bitch right here!!!!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
day 1
1. This is a picture of me when I was in Italy
2. My name is Erica Simone Maria Curtiss
3. I'm 21 years old
4. I'm in a sorority
5. I go to St. Johns
6. I major in journalsims
7. I double minor in criminal justice and public relations
8. I'm single
9. I have two younger sisters
10. I was born and raised on Long Island New York
11. I love to shop
12. I love Olive Garden
13. I can't cook anything
14. I love dogs
15. I love summer
<3
My life in 30 days
So I really enjoyed doing the 30 days of confessions, so I'm going to do this now which will just be pictures. I'm sure you will enjoy it more because I know how difficult words are for most of you guys.
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most wildest things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most wildest things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss
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