It seems like millions of authors are getting rich quick from parenting books. Even if you don't have the money to spend on a five pound book you can google anything these days. So the question remains why are so many parents being arrested for negligence and abuse of their children? I think the reason is because most parenting books are written by 60 year old grandparents who haven't dealt with the problems of parenting in approximately 30 years.
Don't worry, I'm here to help, a 21 year old college senior who has never had kids, and never wants them. I am going to give you all the best parenting advice that ever lived.
LESSON ONE
Babies cry. There is no need to dote on them every single time the little bugger makes a peep. I'm not saying to neglect the child. But if you try feeding it and changing it and playing with it, maybe the little niglets just spoiled. And by you constantly giving it attention every single time it whimpers isn't making the situation any better.
LESSON TWO
Disciplining young children is most affective when hitting is involved. Lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten. Just to reiterate, I am not suggesting abusing your child. However, if a two year old child is constantly running into your medicine cabinet, you can't reason and explain to it why it is so dangerous. The only thing that kid is going to understand is a slap on the hand or on the buttocks. Keep in mind that a punch in the head or stomach will be considered child abuse, you will be arrested and prosecuted to fullest extent of the law...and I do not take responsibility for that.
LESSON THREE
One of the reasons so many parents abuse their children is because they spend way too much time with them. Get your kids into activities. Think about it, if it's in school until 3pm, get some extracurricular activities going. Believe me, as little as you want your kids at home, that's as little as they want to be there. Put them in dance, or gymnastics, or football, or whatever would be gender friendly to your particular child.
LESSON FOUR
Now that we have pretty much taken care of the years from birth to adolescence, let's tackle the teen years. I've heard so much parenting advice relating to privacy. It is very important for your teen to believe that you respect their privacy. The word to pay attention to is think. I was a teenager not too long ago, and believe me too much privacy is a breeding ground for your teen to get into sex, drugs, and alcohol. However, if you make it obvious that you don't give them any privacy they are going to think you don't trust them, which will shut down all lines of communication, which is not good!
That being said, you don't trust your teen. Trusting your teen is the biggest mistake you could make. This is going to sound extremely cliche, but as long as it is living under your roof, it should follow your rules.
Therefore, one way to ensure you and your teen have an open and healthy relationship, read it's personal information. For example, if you're going through their room to clean (aka snoop) don't be afraid to check their facebook or twitter or diary. What they don't know won't hurt them and what you find out could save their lives!
The second part of this snooping that is where most parents fuck up is the don't say shit part. Once you have found out certain information, you can't use it because you can't let your teen know you snooped. You can use it as a guide to help you in the future, and to know exactly what they are capable of. But you can't punish them for something you only knew because you were creeping.
LESSON FIVE
Remember those lines of communication we were talking about earlier? While they are important, they are not always necessary. A lot of parents want to push their kids to talk to them all the time. Do you really have nothing better to do that you really want to talk to 15 year old all day? If your kid is giving you the silent treatment, thank your lucky fuckin stars you don't have to listen to it bitch about the most important thing that happened in 7th period today.
LESSON SIX
So you know how I said if your child is living under your roof it follows your rules? That doesn't really apply once the kid is 18 and working or going to school. Sure there are some rules you implement like there's no fucking and drinking or whatever, but curfews and shit isn't going to fly and you will just push you adult child away. If that is what you want, go for it, but for a healthy relationship you need to give your adult room to grow!!
Look I just condensed all those huge useless books into one internet blog! I think this will be helpful because I am still a kid a heart, and I think I know what kids need. So for all those cliche's saying parenthood is so hard because there is no instructions manual....EAT THIS
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