Teen Mom

This is the anit-plug. 
Why does MTV feel the need to make celebrities out of girls who didn't know when to say no?  Or if they weren't going to say 'no' they could have at least said said 'put on a condom.'  But they didn't.  So now their on television for their third season and we have to watch them live through their mistakes.  Why is parading around underage and pregnant cool?  How long does MTV plan to have cameras follow these imbisiles?  How many more pregnant teenagers am I going to have watch make appearances in my room?
And furthermore...why is Caitlyn (the girl who gave away her baby in the first season) even on this show?  Everyone else is adjusting to their lives with their illigitimate children, and then there's Caitlyn who every once in awhile bring up Carly (her daughter) but in reality, she is not a teen mom.  She is the smartest teen on the show, but she is not like any of the girls on that show.
I'm actuallu missing Beavus and Butthead, because at least that had substance!

-B.S.

Forgive and Forget?

How long is too long to hold a grudge?  I am personally not a fan of forgiveness or second chances.  My philosophy is if you hurt me once, there's no reason why you wouldn't do it again.  And even though people may not always intentionally fuck you over, they always do.  But I don't know if I absolutely believe in holding a grudge, I would just prefer to cut that person totally out of my life.  Seriously how long are you going to go around plotting your revenge against someone?  How lnog are you supposed to wish harm upon a person?  When does it cross the line from being vengeful to just being pathetic.  It's one thing to have a rivalry with some girl in high school when your 16, it's a completely different story when your pushing 30 and you still want to kill some girl who stole your boyfriend 15 years ago. At some point you have to get over it and get a life.

-B.S.

The Most Ridiculous Thing EVER

I have been a die hard Degrassi fan for close to a decade.  I was there for the beginning of Degrassi the next generation, and even took the time to watch the original Degrassi.  I stuck around while the original cast members grew old and left the show and even took interest in the new characters that joined in.  So no one was more excited to hear about the six weeks of brand new Degrassi episodes, otherwise known us Degrassi The Boiling Point, than me
So I don't know if production went into a different direction by hiring a drunken lunatic to direct the premiere of the movie that came on tonight, but clearly they made a huge mistake!
I mean...The Dot blowing up?  Jane and Spinner break up so Jane runs away to America?  Fionna makes out with her brother?  Jane gets into a decent band?  Spinner and Emma getting married?  Her parents being okay with it?  The entire town being okay with it?  The Manny v. Jane bitch fight?  None of it made any type of sense at all. 
Hopefully tomorrows episode will redeem itself. 

-B.S.

What's Wrong With the Water?

At my house I have one of those purifying devices attached the kitchen faucet to make the water drinkable.  But what is initially wrong with tap water?  Why is the tap water okay for us to wash dishes, our face, body,teeth and hair, but when comes to drinking it all of a sudden it has bacteria in it. 
If the water in the sink is not good enough to go through my digestive system, it's no longer good enough for anything else.  From now on, I bathe in bottled water.

-B.S.

OMG

OMG
OMG
OMG
On Kourtney and Khloe Take Over Miami Kim Kardashian takes a shower and I can see the shape of her naked body!!!!  Damm she is so hot.  I had like an entire critique of the episode...but all I can think about is Kim and her almost naked body on my television screen!  And next week she showers again!  Thank Miami for being so hot so that Kim is forced to glisten perfect sweat and shower numerous times a day. 

-B.S.

Life is Long

I'm tired of hearing people always saying 'life's too short."  The average life span of an American person is like 80 years these days.  Maybe in your little warped minds eight decades is short, but to me it's a lifetime.  In fact, IT IS A LIFETIME!
However, all the things people say when they say 'life's too short' can also apply to my 'life's too long theory.'
Life is too long to hold your tongue, because then when you finally do speak up you look like a hypocrite.  Life is too long to not be who you are because if you keep switching your personality people will think you're bipolar.  Life's too long to be nice to everyone because then your going to be stuck around those people for your entire life.  Life's too long to be surrounded by people you don't like. 
In fact, when I die after my long life, I want to be buried face down.  That way, anyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass.

-B.S.

I'd Rather Be The One You Cheat With Than The One You Cheat On

We've all heard stories about 'the other woman.'  In most stories she's the selfish, backstabbing, slutty, bitch.  She's evil and conniving and only thinks of herself.  She's always half dressed in the office, or coming on to married men at the gym, and with her seductive and temptress ways she lures the poor unsuspecting husband into her trap of lust and adultery and the whole affair is completely and totally her fault. 
But this isn't a story.
And in the real world the other woman isn't that bad. 
Newsflash to the world...guys lie.  Half the time the other woman doesn't even know she is the other woman until she starts getting threatening phone calls from his baby momma.  Don't get me wrong, I was always fully aware that I was the other woman and I'm not ashamed.  Think about it, I don't know this girl and I don't owe her anything.  Meanwhile, her boyfriend (who probably has done this numerous times with dozens of other girls) gets off scott free. 
Why don't we forget all the stereotypes and imagine this:  A woman dates a man for three months.  Everything is going great.  Then he tells her that he's married, but in the process of a divorce.  So she stays.  The divorce never happens.  It's months of secret dates and out of town hotel rooms and pushed back divorce court dates.  Eventually the woman realizes he's not leaving his wife, but by this time she's pregnant.  Whether she and her boyfriend stay together is irrelevant, because they will be apart of each other's lives forever.  Does this woman sound calculating? Selfish?  Slutty?  Or does she sound more vulnerable? Lonely?  Naive? 
The other woman doesn't always have to be a bitch.  Sometimes she is just in over her head. 
Now I'm not saying the other woman is an angel.  Imagine this:  A woman meets a guy at a bar, without a wedding ring.  They talk, as they drink the talking turns to flirting, flirting turns to touching...I really shouldn't have to spell this out for you.  Anyway, the next day the guy tells her he's married and he made a big mistake, but the woman doesn't care.  She had fun, and she wants to continue having fun.  So I guess she must have really had to twist his arm because he started seeing her three times a week.  Yes she is wrong, but he's wronger.  He's the one with the ring, the oath, and the devoted wife at home.  Instead of all these "other woman" stories why don't we talk about the "cheating asshole" stories.
The world is full of men who want to have their cake and eat it too.  I don't know about you, but I hardly ever get hurt when I'm the one being eaten.

-B.S.
-B.S.

You Either Do...Or You Don't

It's totally normal for people to want to play the field when their young. It's fun and absolutely necessary in most cases. When your just dating around and having fun people tend to not put up with as much "bullshit" as they would if they really cared about the person. But how much of this "bullshit" should one stand before throwing in the towel to their toxic relationship? While other people may spend a lifetime agonizing over this question, I've concocted another question that helps you answer the first question without breaking a sweat.
Have you ever seen the Breakup with Vince Vaugn and Jennifer Aniston? (In case you are severely brain damaged that wasn't the question FYI.) In the beginning of the movie Vince's character tries to pick up Jenn's character at a baseball game while she is on a date with someone else.  This was a very bold move and Vince's character asked the million dollar question.

"Are you going to marry him?  Is he the one?"  Okay so maybe there's two questions, sue me. 

The point is, the answer to those questions will help answer the previous question.  (Once again, not the one about watching the Breakup.)  If your in a relationship where you think you are putting up with too much fighting, arguing and unhealthy behavior and that person isn't the one person you truly believe you're going to marry, then why waste the time and energy? 

First of all, if there are more cons then pros in the relationship then that person shouldn't be "the one."  However, if you feel like you can take the bad with the good and sacrificing part of your happiness for the sake of the relationship is worth it, then put up with as much crap as you need to.  But if your doing all this and you don't even have the intention of taking to relationship down the aisle then that's just sick and twisted.

Second of all, if you are putting up with everything with no intention of marriage just so your not alone, think about this.  While you're wasting your time with Mr./Mrs. Never Gonna Happen, Mr./Mrs. Perfect For You In Every Way is slipping through your finger tips. 

So it's really simple.  You either do want to spend forever with the jerk, or you don't.  Quit bitchin and make a move already!

-B.S.

Tell Me About It..Stud

I've recently discovered that I love musicals!  I think I first knew it when I heard Rizzo in Grease, because she was the character I related to most.

"There are worst things I could do/ Then go with a boy or two/  Even though the neighborhood thinks I'm trashy and no good/  I suppose it could be true/  But their are worst things I could do/  I could flirt with all the guys/  Smile at them and bat my eyes/  Press against them when we dance/  Make them think they stand a chance/  Then refuse to see it through/  That's a thing I'd never do/  I could stay home every night/  Wait around for Mr. Right/ Take cold showers everyday and throw my life away on a dream that won't come true"

These are a few lyrics from Worst Thing I Could Do (or whatever it's called) and it was sung beautifully in the movie and the play was amazing!

But I fell completely head over heals in love after seeing Chicago!

"They had it comin'/ They had it comin'/ They only had themselves to blame/ If you'd a been there, if you'd a seen it/  I bet you would have done the same."

Okay so that's the chorus and then the singers tell their story

"My husband had a pretty annoying habit.  He like to chew gum, wait no not chew...POP  he liked to pop his gum.  So I come home after a long days work and there he is, lying on the couch chewing...no not chewing POPPING his gum.  So I said 'you pop that gum 1 more time' and he did.  So I grabbed the shot gun and fired two warning shots, right through his head."

chorus

"I met a guy at this club downtown, he said he was single and we hit it off.  He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him dinner and his drink.  Single? Ha.  Not only was he not single but he had six wives.  Six!  So he came home, I fixed hm his drink...Some men just can't handle their arsenic."

chorus

"I was in love with a guy named Lipshitz.  But he was an artist always trying to find himself.  He went out every night trying to find himself.  Along the way he found Maria, Jennifer, Lisa and Astrid.  I guess you could say we broke up over artistic differences...he saw himself as alive, I saw him dead."

"I didn't do it/  I didn't do it/  They had it coming all along/  I didn't do it/ But if I'd done it/  How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

And so now I know that musicals truly inspire me.  In fact because I can't sing and such I'm forced to express my passion for music through this blog.  So you have my horrible lungs to blame for this. 

And now, thanks to these musicals, I'm going to purchase a leather jacket and kill someone!  (Just kidding about the killing...please don't send me to Guantanamo bay)

-B.S.

Shop Til' You Drop

It's no secret that Kim Kardashion loves to indulge in the finer things in life.  We all witnessed her spend $20,000 in one store and then be ambushed by her family with a shopping addiction therapist on Keeping up with the Kardashians.  (Well at least I did because I'm obsessed, and if you missed it you clearly haven't passed the IQ test for this website.)
It's not an opinion that Kim shops too much and spends massive amounts of money, it's a fact.  But what IS an opinion is the fact that a shopping addiction is somehow a problem.  It's Kim's money, why should she save it for a rainy day rather than just buy an umbrella?  Kim's ass is massive, and so are her assets.  $20,000 is like $20 to her, and she has earned every dime and dollar.  Her buying clothes and shoes isn't hurting anyone and it's really no one's business.
Shopping is good for you.  It releases endorphins (whatever that is) and burns calories.  People are happier buying things they wants opposed to things they need and everyone deserves to spoil themselves once in awhile.  (Or all the time, like I do.)
Shopping is one of my greatest strengths, it's something me in K.K. (that's what I call her when we hang out) can bond over, besides our love of black men.  And I am prepared to shop until I drop...or go broke!

-B.S.

65 and Older

I have a bone to pick with the elderly Americans.  IT'S YOUR FAULT THE COUNTRY IS THE WAY IT IS NOW!  You know all the financial problems in the world that my generation has to live with and work our way out of?  This financial ruin took decades to get into, therefore anyone 65 and older is to blame.  And you would think you people would learn from the Great Depression.
So while you people retire to Florida and stock up on hair dye why don't you do the world a few favors and admit a few things to yourselves.
1)  No matter how advanced of a glasses prescription you take, you can't drive.  Stop cluttering our highways with your broken down 1949 Buick's at 20 miles per hour.  People who still receive their period and don't need Viagra have places to go.
2)  You can't work.  Even the simplest of tasks are too hard for you because you refuse to join the rest of the world in the 21st century and learn to use a computer.  You people type at five words a minute and slow down major corporations. 
3)  You can no longer engage in conversations with people who are more than 15 years younger than you.  Frankly I'm tired of repeating myself.  You people can't hear me when I talk to you, and the things you do hear you forget in less than ten minutes.
4)  And last, but certainly not least, no one cares about how different things were back then.  No one wants to hear you play your old time music, no one wants your fashion advice on bell bottoms and clogs, and furthermore no one born after 1970 wants to talk about Watergate!

No offense, but you all have one foot in the grave already, so why don't you practice being dead and sit alone in your dark room for a few years.

-B.S.

They Just Keep Coming Back for More

We all know that women are considered less than human beings in many countries around the world.  Countries like Russia and Romania traffic women and young girls into prostitution, Middle Eastern countries like India and Iran beat women like dogs and even kill them for disobeying the laws that separate them from the human race.  It's no secret these things happen in countries like those, and those woman have no choice.  They are born worthless, they are raised to believe that their only purpose in life is to be a slave and they don't fight the laws because they know that they can't.  For those women I have nothing but pity. 
But in America, in a country where we have worked so hard to consider every human being equal, the same thing happens millions of times a day.  A coworker at my job came into work today with two black eyes and bruises all over her arms because she "fell."  Now I'm as clumsy as they come.  And I've fallen and gotten bruises on my legs, I've hurt my back, and I've pulled muscles.  Never in my life have I fallen and gotten black eyes.  Clearly she was beaten, and I assume it's her husband because the woman doesn't have a life outside of her family and if it were a stranger I don't think she would lie about it. 
We're in 21st century America and in case you were unaware their are laws protecting people from domestic violence.  There's always a way out, instead this woman leaves work everyday to be beaten by her abusive husband.  And you know what the sad thing is, it happens every day multiple times a day right in your town.  The nice man around the corner is probably beating the shit out of his wife and children on a daily basis.  People don't speak up and the abuse never stops.  Even sadder, is that I don't feel sorry for these women.  They have every opportunity to leave these men.  If you can leave the house to go to work, you can leave the house to go to the police.  If you choose not to, then your as much to blame to as the abuser.
Advice of the day ladies...the first time a man puts his hands on you should be the last.

-B.S.

Racism in Celebrity Sentencing

We all know that Lindsey Lohan has been using drug and alcohol rehab to avoid going to prison.  However, time may be running out for the out of control actress and she may finally find herself behind bars.  With that said, who cares?  It's not like she will serve any real time.  If celebrities have taught us anything it's that the laws do not  apply to them.
Paris Hilton served jail time for a DUI and that lasted less than a fraction of the time she had been assigned in court.  Documents show that she was released because it was an unhealthy environment.  Apparently she was refusing to eat and use the bathroom because she was uncomfortable.  Someone should have warned the heiress that she wasn't going to her daddy's mansion, she was going to jail.  Their are no maids or chefs and you're not supposed to be comfortable in prison.
Nicole Richie was driving on the wrong side of a busy highway, and she was sentenced to less time than her frenemy Paris Hilton.  Not like it matters because she didn't serve it either.
But perhaps the most disturbing is Khloe Kardashian who was sentenced to only 30 days in jail for a DUI and violating her parole and she served a total of three hours in the local prison.  Supposedly the jail was over crowded.  It's jail!!  Personal space has no place in jail, just shove them all in one cell together!
All of these people put innocent civilian's lives at risk with their selfish and dangerous behavior.  However, the law clearly doesn't take celebrity crimes seriously, therefore why should we.
But maybe it's not all celebrities who get off easy, it looks to be only talentless white ones do.  Lil Wayne and T.I. were both sentenced to real jail time do to gun possession.  Clearly it's against the law to have fire arms without a license, but why weren't the jail cells too crowded for them?  Nicole Richie is anorexic! You could have placed her in a shoe box.  Paris, Nicole, and Khloe could have killed someone with their recklessness, T.I. and Weezy have had guns for years without killing or even shooting anyone.  It seems like the message isn't that laws don't apply to celebrities, they just don't apply to white ones.
So sit back and relax Lindsey, have a cocktail, smoke a blunt, drive into a homeless shelter.  You'll be out in not time.

-B.S.

And the Winner Is...

Who is the bigger sociopath?  Spencer Pratt from The Hills or Scott Disick from Keeping up with the Kardashians?  This is a tough debate because of the simple fact that both parties are completely insane.  Spencer Pratt is the well known villain of The Hills on MTV that corrupted the weak and feeble mind of Heidi Montag.  But he's not you're typical jerk-off kind of guy, the man is seriously disturbed.  He has not only isolated himself from his own family with his antics but he has also isolated Heidi from her family as well.  Between the lashing out at friends, the massive amounts of hand jewelry, and his obsession with crystal rocks it's no wonder why no one wants to be around him.
But what about Scott Disick, Kourtney Kardashian's on and off love interest and father of her child.  He's a completely different type of of psycho.  Scott is really suave and a smooth talker.  Somehow he talks himself out of every bad situation he puts himself in.  He goes from 0 to nut case in 2.2 seconds.  One minute he's laying in bed, the next minute he's shoving hundred dollar bills down a gay waiters throat.  One second he's at work, the next he's showing his penis to Kourtney's lesbian friend.  He cheats on Kourtney repeatedly and then purposely impregnates her with Mason in order to have her in his life forever.  It's just a matter of time before we see him on the most wanted list for being a serial killer.
However, there's no way we can properly discuss who we'd rather have at our dinner table without asking ourselves who's more pathetic Heidi Montag or Kourtney Kardashian.  This is an even tougher discussion.  Both women are with untrustworthy, despicable, extremely calculated men.  Both women have allowed their significant other's to be unfaithful with little consequences.  Both have allowed these men to disrespect their families.  Both have been trapped is disgusting relationships with these people.  So how do we decide who is the worst of them all?
Easy..we are.  We are the most pathetic sociopaths for giving these people the ratings to have their own shows.

-B.S.

Who Shot Ya (Industry Diss)

I must admit I haven't heard a good industry diss in awhile. It's not quite as raunchy and wild as Eminem, but has more of a serious honest tone like early 50 Cent. I may be a tad bias because I agree with everything that is said (Wakkaflakka flame, your ARE fuckin lame) but even if you don't it's too funny to not enjoy. Original lyrics by G5.

How Old is Too Old?

I'm in a weird place in my life where I'm in college and I'm in my twenties and I'm technically an adult but with my high student loans and low income I have no means to support myself. So my parents pay my bills, I live with my parents when school is out of session and they drive me around. While typing this and reading it out loud I realized how pathetic it sounded, but it must be relatively normal at my age because many of my friends live this way as well. But when does it stop being normal and start being down right inappropriate?

At what point are you crossing the line? Is it at 30 when you're a divorcee with a child and your living in a room in your parents house? Or is it when your in your late 40s and working on your billionth marriage with a few kids and your asking your elderly parents for money to buy a second car? When do you start paying your own bills and taking responsibility for yourself? Is there a timeline? Is their one of those clocks that you hold upside down and the sand drips one by one and once the sand runs out your on your own?

I'm actually not making fun of these situations, I'm just wondering because if there's any possible way I could live like this forever, I'd like to know about it.

-B.S.

Wow, MTV Reality Shows Are Full of Life Lessons

Gee just when I thought I couldn't learn anything else from the wonderful world of reality television shows, MTV's The Real World Back to New Orleans has really taught me some tough lessons tonight.

For example, it's okay to dance like a wounded polar bear when you're a guy whose pretending to be straight because that way you look like your trying to hook up with girls, but your horrid dance moves scare them all away. Good job Ryan.

I learned what bipolar really looks like, thanks to McKenzie. Another lesson from McKenzie is that sex without love is okay, as long as it's not based on a bet and only two pumps with the white Knight. And that being a good friend means denying them the pleasure of sex with "the questionable roommate."

I also learned that if you want to have sex with a trailer trash southern tramp, just make a bet with her about it. That's how Jemmye rolls.

I learned that gay guys aren't allowed to have sex at 2pm, and their certainly not allowed to use condoms. Sorry Preston.

Lastly, I learned that the Real World needs to go back to having seven strangers. Because Sahar would make a better stranger off camera!

Tune in to the Real World Wednesday nights at 10pm.

-B.S.

I Want to be The Little Sister You Have Slept With

So back to my rant about The Hills, it seems as though NONE of my questions about the finale or the season in general were answered.
However, while I may not know any of the important things in life at least I know this. Justin Bobby and showers just don't mix. That annoying girl on Laguna Beach was in fact Lo. Heidi and Spencer have disappeared off the face of The Hills. Whitney is still very boring and undeserving of her own show. Lauren wrote a book? Kristen claims to be going to Europe but since the show was taped months ago and the reunion show is live where did Kristen go in that car in the finale? And the host would like to be the little sister that slept with Broady.
Goodbye The Hills, and Good Riddance.
Let's keep the rest unwritten.

-B.S.

This Might Offend My Political Connects

There are a few things in life all Americans must come to terms with.
Former President George Bush had a hand in setting up the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. And he did this because not only does he secretly hate America but he also wanted to impress his father by going to war.
Sara Palin, while completely unfit to have any political position in this country or any other besides Indonesia or some other third world area no one pays attention to, she would make an amazing porn star. Like in those tapes where they bang old toothless mothers in the back of a van? I think she really missed her calling there.
Moving away from politics, Americans must also admit that as a country, we are huge. With all the fast food and drive thru's and holidays we use as an excuse to eat enough for a small country, of course we're fat. Drop the big mac and try jogging.
White people try way too hard to be black. Between the vicious tans (there are white people darker than me) and the ghetto slang it's like they will never be happy. I mean first they want to enslave us, then keep us segregated, and now be us? You're white...put down the tanning oil and embrace your paleness.
And black people need to get over slavery, I mean whens the last time you heard a Jew complain about the holocaust? And there all bankers and such now. White people don't want to hurt you, if anything they want to be your friend because they'll get street cred. So quit sitting in he back of the bus and using the "n" word which white people gave us, and then being angry when they use it!
Speaking of black people, Rodney King deserved to get his ass beat for speeding on the highway high as a kite and then not only resists arrest, but then attack an officer. If I were a cop I would beat him with a metal baton too. And if it were a white man in that time with the same circumstances no one would have gave a damn.
And as for all you people living in America and "no speaky ingles" either learn the language or go home. I know half you aliens are here illegally anyway so don't further disrespect this country by not knowing how to speak the dominant language of the country so gracious to allow you to stay here. When I go to the Domincan Republic I don't expect the natives to learn English for me, so why the hell would you reside in a country and never think to learn the language. And now that I think about it, McCain was totally legit in his plan to immediately force every illegal immigrant out of the country. They take our jobs, they don't pay taxes, and even worse is THEY DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH!!
Now let's get off race and move to religion, whether you follow God, Jesus, Allah, Budah, it doesn't matter, because they're all crap. Like do you really think God zapped the bible down here? Is revolving your beliefs around someone else (someone you never see) and their idea of what's right and wrong considered normal? Because maybe it's just me but taking orders from a non-existant voice in the sky seems a little odd in my opinion.
This is what happens when you stop being polite, and start getting real. This is what happens when you allow people to just say whatever they want with no consequences. I wonder if our four father's had this in mind when they wrote the 1st amendment. Damn this totally explains 9/11. I get it Osama, I really do!

-B.S.

I'm Glad I've Wasted A Forth Of My Life

As I previously stated, The Hills finale was tonight at 10:00pm. Let me first start out by apologizing for suggesting anyone watch this television program ever. I'm sorry for giving my praises to this show, and if you had the unpleasant opportunity to actually watch the show, then you understand why.
The Hills has gone on for 5 or 6 seasons, preceding The Hills was Laguna Beach which went on for god knows how many seasons before that. And the show finale end of all time, the circle will not continue, this is the last of these spoiled brats the world will ever see ends on the most confusing note possible.
The whole season comes to a crash because everyone is "growing up" and in a "mid twenties crisis" and Lo sophisticately puts it, but the real issue is Kristen randomly picking up and moving to Europe because Brody has a girlfriend. Don't these people have lives outside of each other? And why doesn't Kristen ever have anything to do? She can just pick up and move to Europe? Did she ever go to college? And if so is she ever going to put her degree to any use? Or are the rumors true and you really can major in tanning and prada? Hopefully all these questions will be answered at the super finale reunion.
Regardless, for the entire 10 minutes of the show, interrupted by 20 minutes of commercials, I was on the edge of my seat wondering if Kristen was really going to leave and how this phenomena of a show would leave their legacy, and after the show was over....no one knew what happened. The show ends with Kristen driving down the street, then the background of the town is picked up and we're on a tv producing set and Kristen comes back and Broady's like "are we good?" The camera guys are like "okay we got the shots." And the loyal audience is left confused and just down right upset. This finale was worse than the Sopranos!
We all knew or suspected that the show was scripted, but was this finale an admittance of guilt from the producers and cast? Was everything we've ever seen from any reality show always a lie? Did Kristen take a trip to Europe or a road trip around the block? Did I just waste what I think to be 5 or 6 years of my life on a lie? Left alone to sort out the pieces of what just happened? I feel like The Hills just broke up with me via text message, and even worse it was in that weird text language people can't understand so I actually have to call and embarrass myself and then be dumped again in terms that I canactually understand.
And wtf happened to Heidi and Spencer...and for that matter where's Enzo???

-a dazed and confused B.S.

Reality Show for Monday Night

So it may be a little late in the season for this plug because most of these shows are coming close to their season finally, but Monday nights starting at 10pm make sure you are nowhere else besides in front of your tv (because MTV definitely is not based on reruns) to watch The Hills, The City, and Downtown Girls.
Don't you hate it when someone says, "I'm just really enjoying being single right now" and two weeks later that person is is a full on relationship with someone else. Because that's what Brody did to Kristen on the hills. Newsflash Brody, Kristen probably would have appreciated you telling her you didn't want to date her from the beginning. Way to be an asshole!
I want the old Laguna Beach Kristen back !!!
Yea so watch all these shows so that you know what I'm ranting about.

-B.S.

Who Are You Trying to Impress

So today I went to get my nails done and I was admiring the lovely job the stylist did and I realized most straight men will not appreciate all the time that was spent on the french manicure and cute detailed designs on my toes.
So I began thinking, why do I put myself through all this? I can't explain how much time I spend on my hair, nails, and makeup, and for what? Whether I wear my black eyeliner or my brown eye line, I don't think any guy is really going to notice. And if he does, he's damn sure not going to care.
But when I do take the time to put myself together (which is all the time) I get a so many compliments from women I come in contact with. And then it hit me, women get all dolled up for other women. Obviously if your going on a date or to a party you want to look your best, but when your going to the mall with your friends there is no need to look like your going to a club. But we do it anyway and it's not for the men in our lives. Men really don't care if your toes are hot pink, they don't care about your highlights, they don't care what name label your jacket or handbag is.
Which brings me to another point, I think I would die without being complimented by total strangers on a daily basis. And that's not low self-esteem, believe me I have very high esteem but sometimes I look at my closet and I'm like "damn, all this shit is hot!" And I feel like a lot of women pretend to hate being bothered when I guy tells her she looks pretty, like it's such an inconvenience to be told how good I look every five minutes, but the truth is when we go out and we don't get asked to dance at a club, or a guy doesn't offer to buy us a drink at the bar it's like the end of the world.
Now that I think about there was no point to this post, get over it.

-B.S.

Flaming Island

So why are there so many gays on Fire Island? And further more, why are the gays on Fire Island gayer than other gays?
I spent the Fourth of July on Fire Island this year. As soon as the ferry docks at Cherry Grove there is a large gay pride flag waving in the wind for all to see. If your a homosexual man and you're not wearing eight inch heels and a blond wig you are severely out of place. Add a pair of ass-less chaps and your finally dressed for the occasion.
Clubs such as the Cherry's and Ice Palace are lovely clubs to listen to techno and house music while watching some heavy girl on girl action. Don't be the only straight couple on the island because you don't want to be boo'd by the lesbians and drags.
Right outside of the Ice Palace is a quaint little pizza shop where the waitresses are like a ray of sunshine. There's an elderly woman who greets you with a "make up your mind already" and when you ask for straws or napkins she replies with "wow you just want everything." Then after that amazing service and paying $3.50 for a regular slice of pizza, be prepared to tip or else this troll lady will chase you down to a liquor store to explain how she 'bent over backwards' to help everyone.
Be careful when you walk down the sidewalks alone, because there are summer houses that are just oozing with gay orgy's!! And random gays have no shame with just pulling you into their naked shack of sex!
So how did Fire Island become a breeding ground for gays? Did they all decide to move there together? Was the island created for gays? Did gay people decide that because it was called Fire Island that it would be the place to go if you're a homo? And even more confusing to me is why do these gay people act fifty times more flamboyant than gay people anywhere else?
How many licks does it take to get to the secret of Fire Island? The world may not want to know.

-B.S.

Happy 4th

So while everyone is getting swept away with barbeque's and fireworks and alcohol to celebrate this glorious holiday, I think we may have lost sight of what the Fourth of July is really about.

Forget all the festival broo haha they teach us at school. Forget about the glitz and glam that we are made to believe and just know this:

While your stuffing your face with ball park franks and cheese burgers remember that we are celebrating the fact that white aristocratic slave owning men in the 18th century didn't want to pay their taxes.

-B.S.

Jerseylicious?

It seems like everywhere I turn there is a some show dedicated to Jersey. I think the culprit is the Jersey Shore series. It was the hottest show on television last summer that just happened to take place in Jersey. ATTENTION ALL TELEVISION PRODUCERS the Jersey Shore wasn't a hit show because it was in Jersey, it was a hit show because of the cast. And only one girl (the most boring girl their) was even from Jersey.
Since that show I feel like the rating for The Real Housewives of New Jersey sky rocketed, and now there's new shows such as Jersey Couture and Jerseylicous. No offense to Jersey but I feel like New Jersey is a tackier version of New York. Well I guess you have to take offense to that don't you? I don't care, I mean besides leopard jackets and snake skin shoes (TACKYYYYYY) what does Jersey have that New York doesn't? I even feel like New Jersey tries to be apart of New York. The people are always coming here to work, go to school, shop, visit friends. It says something when my friends in Jersey always come to New York to visit, I never go there.
Don't get me wrong, it's a perfect party place for the summer. But so is anywhere else. What's so jerseylicious about New Jersey?

-B.S.