A slave is defined as a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; an intern is a person who works as an apprentice or trainee in an occupation or profession to gain practical experience, and sometimes also to satisfy legal or other requirements for being licensed or accepted professionally, they don’t sound like the same thing to me.
But the two have various similarities, the biggest one being that you are working for no pay under the constant command of someone else.
I was just scolded by my bosses for not “taking this internship seriously,” and not “putting enough into it.”
Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize I was slacking off so much.
It takes me two hours to get to work from home sometimes. Up until recently I was the only intern who came at 10 a.m. and left at 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday.
I did everything I have ever been asked to do, plus came up with numerous ideas on my own.
I got sexually harassed doing an assignment for their paper, I got lost in ghetto doing another assignment and I got into a car accident just trying to get to work. I work my ass off while I’m here, and when I’m not doing anything, before I start working on my blog, I always ask if anyone needs help with anything.
Until today, I have never turned down an assignment. I have gone to Maspeth, Flushing, St. Albans and god knows where else just to do stories that sometimes don’t get printed anyway!
Today, they asked me to do an assignment in Astoria Queens at 6:30 p.m. I work until 5 p.m. I have a life outside of this non-paying internship. I babysit, I go to the gym, I work at another bullshit job in order to have a little pocket change since this internship takes the majority of my time. So even if I had my car I could not do an assignment that late because I have to be home by 8 p.m.
I think it’s disgusting that the bosses, who have by the way been sitting in the office all day doing nothing, are trying to guilt me into doing an assignment that I can’t do. And to tell me that I need to use my resources and take public transportation, are you paying for my train ticket??? Or the new shoes I would have to buy to walk up and down streets?
I have never complained (to the bosses or my coworkers) about this job because I know it’s a good opportunity and a foot in the door of journalism, but this is ridiculous.
You can’t treat people this way, I don’t care what their title is.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Girls Never Change
As a woman, it is not a secret that girls can be vicious. We have all seen exactly how horrible girls can be in movies such as Mean Girls, Jawbreaker and Heathers. But those movies all have something in common, the movies were centered around high school girls, meaning the villains in these movies were 15, 16 and 17 years old. You would think the cattiness would end after high school, maybe even after college…but now that I have taken a step into the real world, I see that girls, tweens, teens, women or old ass bitches, there all the same.
Throughout my adolescence I had to deal with girls not liking me for no reason. They would call me names, they would say I was stuck up and thought I was too good for any of them (which was totally true.) But I thought all that would end once I closed the doors of Copiague High School behind me. Apparently I was wrong.
Even in college at St. John’s University, which is a top rated New York school (just so you realized I didn’t attend college with the same assholes from H.S. at Nassau or Suffolk.) And even then I have dealt with drama between girls ages ranging from 18-25. To be fair, I am in a sorority, so therefore levels of maturity must be taken into account. It can totally be compared to being in a gang. We are identified by our colors, we have ‘beef’ with groups of girls in other colors and we like to mark our territory. So there have been instances where we have had issues with other sororities and even fraternities.
But then when you enter the working world, you think you are surrounded by intelligent, well educated, mature people. Think again.
I’m not counting my four years of experience at TJ Max because anyone is hired there. You don’t need any type of degree or any type of intellect; therefore you are bound to witness immature pettiness because you work with immature petty people.
But when you are working at a real place of business, it would be nice to feel safe from that kind of stupidity.
I am an intern, and I think my female boss hates me, for reasons unbeknownst to me. It feels just like H.S. all over again. At first, I thought she was just a bitch, which I could respect because I’m a bitch. And a woman who is running a company would have to be a bitch for people to respect her. But then I started noticing she was only a bitch towards me, and no one else. She’s very nice to the other employees, but then I thought I’m just an intern maybe she doesn’t respect me enough to show me the same courtesy she shows the real workers. But then when new interns started showing up and she was being so nice to them I knew it must be a personal vendetta against me. On my first day at the office I was yelled at. When I got lost on the job I was shown no sympathy. I was criticized for mistakes I didn’t make. My work was edited harshly while others were applauded. She constantly gives me looks of disgust whenever I try to talk to her, which only makes me nervous. Then I hear her laughing and joking with other interns in her office.
So now that we have established a pattern of behavior that proves the dragon lady does not like me, let’s try to come up with some valid reasons why she could possibly not like little old me.
1. I’m extremely good looking.
Like believe it or not it is a curse, and it has been the basis for a lot of girls I’ve dealt with to not be too fond of me. She dresses really nice and looks really good, and for the most part, no one in this office pays attention to their looks. So she was the hottest thing at the office (in her mind) and then I come along, being at least 15 years younger, with amazing fashion sense (even for drab business attire) and she feels like I’m competition. (For what I have no idea, she spends her whole time in the office with the bigger boss, who is bigger in EVERY way, trust me she can have him!)
*For the next reasons it’s either one or the other, I don’t think it’s possible to be both.
2. She thinks I don’t work hard enough
She started here as an intern, and now she’s the managing editor. Maybe she’s holding me to a standard that she lived up to and she doesn’t thing I deserve to be here.
3. She thinks I’m too good at my job
Since she started as an intern and made it all the way to where she is now, maybe she thinks I’m gunning for her job or something. Maybe she sees all the work I put into this job as an insult. Especially when I come up with new ideas to write about that she didn’t come up with, maybe she thinks her time as the reigning queen of the office is coming to an end and she’s blaming it on me.
4. I’m young with my whole life ahead of me
In journalism there are many outlets you can write for. My dream it to write for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and since I’m only 21 and still in school that dream is still an opportunity to for me. However, she started working here years ago as intern, and maybe it wasn’t something she planned on doing forever. But as time went on and she kept getting promoted she stuck around and maybe now she feels trapped with no way out.
5. She just doesn’t like me
I have a very distinct personality. I don’t want to say you either love me or hate me, because there can be an in between with me. Some people can tolerate me in small doses. Some people want to be around me all the time. I can’t help who I am, but maybe who I am annoys her, and I can respect that. A lot of people that haven’t actually done anything to me I find really annoying and would never choose to spend my time with them.
For example, there’s an intern who I can’t stand. Her name is something September 11th like and she thinks she knows everything about journalism. Bitch you’re the same age as me and you go to a lower ranked school and you started this internship after me, know your place. But once again, she did nothing personally to me, I just don’t like who she is as a person.
Anyway, no matter why my boss hates me, I can’t change it, but I do have to find a way around it. Let’s face it we live in an ass kissing world and I need good references.
Throughout my adolescence I had to deal with girls not liking me for no reason. They would call me names, they would say I was stuck up and thought I was too good for any of them (which was totally true.) But I thought all that would end once I closed the doors of Copiague High School behind me. Apparently I was wrong.
Even in college at St. John’s University, which is a top rated New York school (just so you realized I didn’t attend college with the same assholes from H.S. at Nassau or Suffolk.) And even then I have dealt with drama between girls ages ranging from 18-25. To be fair, I am in a sorority, so therefore levels of maturity must be taken into account. It can totally be compared to being in a gang. We are identified by our colors, we have ‘beef’ with groups of girls in other colors and we like to mark our territory. So there have been instances where we have had issues with other sororities and even fraternities.
But then when you enter the working world, you think you are surrounded by intelligent, well educated, mature people. Think again.
I’m not counting my four years of experience at TJ Max because anyone is hired there. You don’t need any type of degree or any type of intellect; therefore you are bound to witness immature pettiness because you work with immature petty people.
But when you are working at a real place of business, it would be nice to feel safe from that kind of stupidity.
I am an intern, and I think my female boss hates me, for reasons unbeknownst to me. It feels just like H.S. all over again. At first, I thought she was just a bitch, which I could respect because I’m a bitch. And a woman who is running a company would have to be a bitch for people to respect her. But then I started noticing she was only a bitch towards me, and no one else. She’s very nice to the other employees, but then I thought I’m just an intern maybe she doesn’t respect me enough to show me the same courtesy she shows the real workers. But then when new interns started showing up and she was being so nice to them I knew it must be a personal vendetta against me. On my first day at the office I was yelled at. When I got lost on the job I was shown no sympathy. I was criticized for mistakes I didn’t make. My work was edited harshly while others were applauded. She constantly gives me looks of disgust whenever I try to talk to her, which only makes me nervous. Then I hear her laughing and joking with other interns in her office.
So now that we have established a pattern of behavior that proves the dragon lady does not like me, let’s try to come up with some valid reasons why she could possibly not like little old me.
1. I’m extremely good looking.
Like believe it or not it is a curse, and it has been the basis for a lot of girls I’ve dealt with to not be too fond of me. She dresses really nice and looks really good, and for the most part, no one in this office pays attention to their looks. So she was the hottest thing at the office (in her mind) and then I come along, being at least 15 years younger, with amazing fashion sense (even for drab business attire) and she feels like I’m competition. (For what I have no idea, she spends her whole time in the office with the bigger boss, who is bigger in EVERY way, trust me she can have him!)
*For the next reasons it’s either one or the other, I don’t think it’s possible to be both.
2. She thinks I don’t work hard enough
She started here as an intern, and now she’s the managing editor. Maybe she’s holding me to a standard that she lived up to and she doesn’t thing I deserve to be here.
3. She thinks I’m too good at my job
Since she started as an intern and made it all the way to where she is now, maybe she thinks I’m gunning for her job or something. Maybe she sees all the work I put into this job as an insult. Especially when I come up with new ideas to write about that she didn’t come up with, maybe she thinks her time as the reigning queen of the office is coming to an end and she’s blaming it on me.
4. I’m young with my whole life ahead of me
In journalism there are many outlets you can write for. My dream it to write for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and since I’m only 21 and still in school that dream is still an opportunity to for me. However, she started working here years ago as intern, and maybe it wasn’t something she planned on doing forever. But as time went on and she kept getting promoted she stuck around and maybe now she feels trapped with no way out.
5. She just doesn’t like me
I have a very distinct personality. I don’t want to say you either love me or hate me, because there can be an in between with me. Some people can tolerate me in small doses. Some people want to be around me all the time. I can’t help who I am, but maybe who I am annoys her, and I can respect that. A lot of people that haven’t actually done anything to me I find really annoying and would never choose to spend my time with them.
For example, there’s an intern who I can’t stand. Her name is something September 11th like and she thinks she knows everything about journalism. Bitch you’re the same age as me and you go to a lower ranked school and you started this internship after me, know your place. But once again, she did nothing personally to me, I just don’t like who she is as a person.
Anyway, no matter why my boss hates me, I can’t change it, but I do have to find a way around it. Let’s face it we live in an ass kissing world and I need good references.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Gay Love is True Love
The state of New York
I’ve been saying this for years, if gay people want to get married and be miserable then why should anyone stop them?
I really don’t understand the huge issue between what people do in their personal lives. Why should someone’s sexual orientation stop them from having the same rights as everyone else?
The reasons for not allowing homosexuals to marry are ridiculous. Of course people want to bring the bible and religious beliefs into the conversation when it has no place here. Our country is based on separating the church and state. Therefore we can’t make something a law just because it was in the bible. That would make us no better than the Muslims if we did that.
Another reason people claim is that since gays cannot produce children they should not be permitted to get married. That’s another stupid reason. There are like 6 million orphans in the world. Since these couples can’t make more they can take some of the kids no one else wants. In fact, I wish more people would be gay so that less people would have children.
The real reason people don’t want gay people to have the right to be married is because it’s different and it’s probably scary for the more close-minded people. And that is a theory I can respect. If legislation just said that they felt uneasy about giving same sex couples the right to get married I could understand that way more than the lies and reason they try to wrap their beliefs around. It makes sense that after centuries of living life one way, that opening the door to something that used to only be kept in the closet would freak out a lot of people.
But through change is how our country evolved. It used to be that people of different races were not allowed to have relationships with one another. And without changing that law a lot of influential people would not be here (including myself) In the past women were not able to walk around in public without a man, let alone vote (those laws might still exist in some countries where no one cares about) and in the last presidential election we had a woman as one of the democratic candidates and a woman as the Vice President to the republican candidate (as pathetic as those women were it was still a step in the right direction) Centuries ago our four fathers kept black slaves and today a black man is our president. Just a few decades ago there was no alcohol permitted anywhere in our county, and now I work within a 2 minute distance from 3 bars and 20 restaurants that will all serve drinks after 11 a.m.
So I ask you, hasn’t change made our country better? Or do you still want to wearing a corset and having your father trade pigs so some 50 year old man will marry you at 12? In fact, children marry and incest used to be okay, are we really going to stand in the way of true love just because it’s gay love?
Well I’m not!
They’re here, they’re queer, get used to it!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Cycles through Songs
The beginning of a relationship will usually start with sex. Whether you are aware of it or not, sex is the ignition to a relationship. Think about it, when you first meet someone you don’t think about the introduction you are going to give to your parents or even your first date, you think about how hot that person is. And I’ve found the perfect song to express that message.
Gyal, me wann fi hold
Yuh put me arms right around ya
Gyal, you give me the tightest
Hold me eva seen in my life
Gyal, me wann fi just squeeze
Yah put me ting right around ya
Gyal, you give me tightest
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem dry and me nuh care
Mi tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spare, so we nuh care
And as a woman I will be dere
Mi wanna gyal who go tek you away
Me want a gyal who cyan wine pon me
Wid it good and mek mi feel itt
Show me that you could girl
Life ah past by everbady like woo, woo, woo, woo
Jump on me back and she go boom, boom, boom, boom
Gime the mekka van aand the fat tun tun tun
Me na rampaz mi nozzle and get my boom boom
She de out a control
I move first cuz she want a man soon
She say no good woman and stil she good
Still me want it well good
Life ah past by pon him and he guud, guud, guud, guud
Jump pan hi back and gu, gu, gu, guuh
In the maca van 95 boom, boom
Me na ramp when mi fi get mi goods
She de outta control
Ah, more fire she want in har soul
Ah, seta moan pan yuh and still she good
And still them have it well good
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem ah dry and me na care
Me tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spere, so we na care
And as a woman I will be there
While this song is hard to understand because of the Caribbean slang, the message is quite clear. This guy is talking about how tight the woman’s vagina is, and how much he just want to be in and around it. He’s not saying he loves her, or even that he likes her, but he wants to be very close to her.
Once you move passed the instant sexual gratification, you can decide whether this person is worth pursuing for a real relationship, or if you just want to add that notch to the old belt. For the purposes of this blog entry, let’s say you decide have a meaningful relationship and you think this person is amazing.
Love you like a brother,
Treat you like a friend.
Respect you like a lover
If you be the cash,
I'll be the rubber band.
You be the match,
I'm gon' be the fuse, boom!
Painter baby,
You could be the muse.
I'm the reporter baby,
You could be the news,
'Cause you're the cigarette,
And I'm the smoker.
We raise a bet,
'Cause you're the joker,
Truth tho.
You are the chalk,
And I can be the blackboard
You could be the talk,
And I could be the walk.
Even when the sky comes falling,
Even when the sun don't shine,
I got faith in you and I,
So put your pretty little hand in mine.
Even when we're down to the wire baby,
Even when it's do or die,
We could do it baby, simple and plain,
'Cause this love is a sure thing.
.com/lyrics/m/miguel_jontel/sure_thing.html ]
If I'm the blunt,
You could be the lighter babe
Fire it up!
Writer baby,
You could be the quote,
If I'm the lyric baby,
You could be the note.
Record that!
Saint, I'm a sinner,
Prize, I'm a winner,
And it's you
What did I do to deserve that.
Paper baby,
I'll be the pen
Say that I'm the one,
'Cause you're a ten.
Real and not pretend!
This song isn’t about sex. Because after awhile a relationship revolves less around sex and more around what you are to each other. In this song (Sure Thing by Miguel) he uses metaphors and similes to describe the feelings he has for someone. In his “sure thing” relationship he and his partner are totally in sync.
Relationships don’t go on like this forever (but my advice is to reside in ‘in sync’ land for as long as possible. But there comes a time when you either grow stronger as a couple and move into the next phase of a relationship, or you fizzle or fight until the point where there is no relationship. For the purpose of this blog we are going to explore both paths through song.
Let us start with the break up path. There are pretty much three outcomes of the break up path.
The first path is the delayed break up. Where the feelings are fizzling and the couple is constantly fighting, but instead of ending the relationship as soon as possible one, or both of the parties, contemplates the decision longer than necessary. The couple spends days, weeks, months and in worse scenarios, years in a bad relationship that’s just going to end anyway.
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say they're the lucky ones.
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wished you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.
[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
Next chapter.
How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I started to think one day I'd tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.
Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like the careless,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.
The end.
Another way one might handle a break up is feeling relieved. Clearly the two of you were not working out for a reason. So rather than wonder what you could have done differently or what the other person did wrong, you feel great to be without that person, because you know that you’re better off.
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out
[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye
Another way a person can feel after a break up is regret. Sometimes you think you would be better off without someone, and you realize that you really do love them and what you thought you would gain from the break up wasn’t worth what you lost.
I’m so glad you made time to see me
Hows life? Tell me hows your family?
I haven’t seen them in a while.
You’ve been good. Busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind
Your gave me roses and I left them there to die
So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain’t nothin’ but missin’ you
Wishin’ that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days I haven’t been sleeping
I’ve been thinkin
Of when your birthday passed and I didn’t call
I remember all of the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
And the cold came, the dark days, when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
I miss your tan skin your sweet smile so good to me so right
And when you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
So maybe this is wishful thinkin’
Or maybe just myself dreamin’
But if we loved again I swear I’d love you right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.
There’s also a fourth way someone could feel about a break up, which is that they really don’t care either way. But there are no songs about that.
But lets explore the happier note of a relationship, which would be moving forward together.
Jagged Edge:
See first of all (Yeah)
I know these so-called playa'z wouldn't tell you this (What?)
But I'm go be real and say what's on my heart (Yeah)
Let's take this chance and make this love feel relevant
Didn't you know I loved her from the start? (Yo)
Yeah.....
When I think about (Uh-huh, huh)
All these years we put in this relationship (Yeah)
Who'll knew we'd make it this far?
Then I think about (Uh-huh)
Where would I be if we were just to fall apart?
And I can't stand the thought of leaving you...
Meet me at the altar in your white dress(Uh-huh)
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it you I must been feeling you all the while girl i must confess
girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Said I done it all but frankly girl I'm tired of this emptiness I wanna come home to you and only you{Why?}
Cause making love to anyone ain't happenin'
I just gotta be with you
I think about
Us finishin' somethin' we started so long ago?
I wanna give you my heart
Do you think about Maybe us having some babies? C'mon won't you be my lady?
Forever girl....
Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it (Y'all knew we came to dance)
been feeling you all the while girl I must confess
Girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Let's get married
Let's get married baby
Let's get married baby
We could pretend after this stage of the relationship everything will be perfect from here on…but I’m not going to lie to you. After you realize you will only sleep with one person for the rest of your life, after the woman gains weight from child birth, and therefore loses her self-esteem and after the man inherits a beer belly a loses his hair the things that held you together will soon tear you apart. Between cheating, money problems, gay secrets and divorce…we’re just waiting for the song about that.
Gyal, me wann fi hold
Yuh put me arms right around ya
Gyal, you give me the tightest
Hold me eva seen in my life
Gyal, me wann fi just squeeze
Yah put me ting right around ya
Gyal, you give me tightest
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem dry and me nuh care
Mi tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spare, so we nuh care
And as a woman I will be dere
Mi wanna gyal who go tek you away
Me want a gyal who cyan wine pon me
Wid it good and mek mi feel itt
Show me that you could girl
Life ah past by everbady like woo, woo, woo, woo
Jump on me back and she go boom, boom, boom, boom
Gime the mekka van aand the fat tun tun tun
Me na rampaz mi nozzle and get my boom boom
She de out a control
I move first cuz she want a man soon
She say no good woman and stil she good
Still me want it well good
Life ah past by pon him and he guud, guud, guud, guud
Jump pan hi back and gu, gu, gu, guuh
In the maca van 95 boom, boom
Me na ramp when mi fi get mi goods
She de outta control
Ah, more fire she want in har soul
Ah, seta moan pan yuh and still she good
And still them have it well good
Hold me eva seen inna mi life, ohh
Me eye dem ah dry and me na care
Me tek it anytime and anywhere
Inna de spere, so we na care
And as a woman I will be there
While this song is hard to understand because of the Caribbean slang, the message is quite clear. This guy is talking about how tight the woman’s vagina is, and how much he just want to be in and around it. He’s not saying he loves her, or even that he likes her, but he wants to be very close to her.
Once you move passed the instant sexual gratification, you can decide whether this person is worth pursuing for a real relationship, or if you just want to add that notch to the old belt. For the purposes of this blog entry, let’s say you decide have a meaningful relationship and you think this person is amazing.
Love you like a brother,
Treat you like a friend.
Respect you like a lover
If you be the cash,
I'll be the rubber band.
You be the match,
I'm gon' be the fuse, boom!
Painter baby,
You could be the muse.
I'm the reporter baby,
You could be the news,
'Cause you're the cigarette,
And I'm the smoker.
We raise a bet,
'Cause you're the joker,
Truth tho.
You are the chalk,
And I can be the blackboard
You could be the talk,
And I could be the walk.
Even when the sky comes falling,
Even when the sun don't shine,
I got faith in you and I,
So put your pretty little hand in mine.
Even when we're down to the wire baby,
Even when it's do or die,
We could do it baby, simple and plain,
'Cause this love is a sure thing.
.com/lyrics/m/miguel_jontel/sure_thing.html ]
If I'm the blunt,
You could be the lighter babe
Fire it up!
Writer baby,
You could be the quote,
If I'm the lyric baby,
You could be the note.
Record that!
Saint, I'm a sinner,
Prize, I'm a winner,
And it's you
What did I do to deserve that.
Paper baby,
I'll be the pen
Say that I'm the one,
'Cause you're a ten.
Real and not pretend!
This song isn’t about sex. Because after awhile a relationship revolves less around sex and more around what you are to each other. In this song (Sure Thing by Miguel) he uses metaphors and similes to describe the feelings he has for someone. In his “sure thing” relationship he and his partner are totally in sync.
Relationships don’t go on like this forever (but my advice is to reside in ‘in sync’ land for as long as possible. But there comes a time when you either grow stronger as a couple and move into the next phase of a relationship, or you fizzle or fight until the point where there is no relationship. For the purpose of this blog we are going to explore both paths through song.
Let us start with the break up path. There are pretty much three outcomes of the break up path.
The first path is the delayed break up. Where the feelings are fizzling and the couple is constantly fighting, but instead of ending the relationship as soon as possible one, or both of the parties, contemplates the decision longer than necessary. The couple spends days, weeks, months and in worse scenarios, years in a bad relationship that’s just going to end anyway.
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say they're the lucky ones.
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wished you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.
[Chorus:]
Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
Next chapter.
How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I started to think one day I'd tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.
Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like the careless,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.
The end.
Another way one might handle a break up is feeling relieved. Clearly the two of you were not working out for a reason. So rather than wonder what you could have done differently or what the other person did wrong, you feel great to be without that person, because you know that you’re better off.
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out
[Chorus]
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye
Another way a person can feel after a break up is regret. Sometimes you think you would be better off without someone, and you realize that you really do love them and what you thought you would gain from the break up wasn’t worth what you lost.
I’m so glad you made time to see me
Hows life? Tell me hows your family?
I haven’t seen them in a while.
You’ve been good. Busier than ever.
We small talk, work and the weather.
Your guard is up and I know why
Because the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind
Your gave me roses and I left them there to die
So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Turns out freedom ain’t nothin’ but missin’ you
Wishin’ that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I go back to December turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
These days I haven’t been sleeping
I’ve been thinkin
Of when your birthday passed and I didn’t call
I remember all of the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized I loved you in the fall
And the cold came, the dark days, when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
I miss your tan skin your sweet smile so good to me so right
And when you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
So maybe this is wishful thinkin’
Or maybe just myself dreamin’
But if we loved again I swear I’d love you right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.
There’s also a fourth way someone could feel about a break up, which is that they really don’t care either way. But there are no songs about that.
But lets explore the happier note of a relationship, which would be moving forward together.
Jagged Edge:
See first of all (Yeah)
I know these so-called playa'z wouldn't tell you this (What?)
But I'm go be real and say what's on my heart (Yeah)
Let's take this chance and make this love feel relevant
Didn't you know I loved her from the start? (Yo)
Yeah.....
When I think about (Uh-huh, huh)
All these years we put in this relationship (Yeah)
Who'll knew we'd make it this far?
Then I think about (Uh-huh)
Where would I be if we were just to fall apart?
And I can't stand the thought of leaving you...
Meet me at the altar in your white dress(Uh-huh)
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it you I must been feeling you all the while girl i must confess
girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Said I done it all but frankly girl I'm tired of this emptiness I wanna come home to you and only you{Why?}
Cause making love to anyone ain't happenin'
I just gotta be with you
I think about
Us finishin' somethin' we started so long ago?
I wanna give you my heart
Do you think about Maybe us having some babies? C'mon won't you be my lady?
Forever girl....
Meet me at the altar in your white dress
We ain't gettin' no younger we might as well do it (Y'all knew we came to dance)
been feeling you all the while girl I must confess
Girl let's just get married
I just wanna get married
Let's get married
Let's get married baby
Let's get married baby
We could pretend after this stage of the relationship everything will be perfect from here on…but I’m not going to lie to you. After you realize you will only sleep with one person for the rest of your life, after the woman gains weight from child birth, and therefore loses her self-esteem and after the man inherits a beer belly a loses his hair the things that held you together will soon tear you apart. Between cheating, money problems, gay secrets and divorce…we’re just waiting for the song about that.
Franken Babies!!!!!
It’s no secret that I do not like children. I think I have made that perfectly clear.
But when I saw something on Basketball Wives (another Grade A show for moral values) I had to bring it to everyone’s attention (and by everyone I mean the 4 people who read this shit)
Evelyn , from Basketball Wives, who is now engaged to Chad ‘Ocho Cinco,’ a football player, (I know the irony kills me too) are trying to have children together. But not just any type of children. They want twin boy athletes. Very specific. When I first heard this request I thought, “yea and I want something more interesting to do with my time then talk about you people on my pathetic blog, but that’s not going to happen.” But as the show progressed, I saw that it was possible.
The illegitimate couple went into a doctor’s office and revealed their ridiculous request to the doctor. To my surprise, it wasn’t ridiculous at all. In fact the procedure is pretty simple. Chad has to give a sample of his sperm to the doctor. The doctor then extracts the sperm that would create twin boys if it met with Evelyn’s eggs, and then inject that particular sperm into Evelyn.
I’m totally not kidding that’s basically what the doctor said, but in more scientific terms.
So at first I thought that was pretty interesting. Because if I ever did get married and have children, I would only want one son. So if there was a way to make that possible for sure, instead of just trying and hoping for a boy I thought I would have no problem.
But then after hearing my parent’s opinion on these kids that are basically built in a lab I thought it was a little strange. Using science to engineer the perfect babies? That does sound a little farfetched and unsafe. What if you do get twin boys, but then they have missing toes and arms and shit?
And then I thought, science has come such a long way, now we can give our sperm and eggs to some other bitch and have her carry the baby for us. So why is this so strange? Also, people take risks of their kids coming out with down syndrome or whatever every time they get pregnant, so I don’t think that by involving science the risk would increase.
It’s a totally strange topic, and for once I don’t know which side of the fence I’m standing on. Are we in favor of genetically modified babies? Or do we like our rugrats the old fashioned way?
But when I saw something on Basketball Wives (another Grade A show for moral values) I had to bring it to everyone’s attention (and by everyone I mean the 4 people who read this shit)
Evelyn , from Basketball Wives, who is now engaged to Chad ‘Ocho Cinco,’ a football player, (I know the irony kills me too) are trying to have children together. But not just any type of children. They want twin boy athletes. Very specific. When I first heard this request I thought, “yea and I want something more interesting to do with my time then talk about you people on my pathetic blog, but that’s not going to happen.” But as the show progressed, I saw that it was possible.
The illegitimate couple went into a doctor’s office and revealed their ridiculous request to the doctor. To my surprise, it wasn’t ridiculous at all. In fact the procedure is pretty simple. Chad has to give a sample of his sperm to the doctor. The doctor then extracts the sperm that would create twin boys if it met with Evelyn’s eggs, and then inject that particular sperm into Evelyn.
I’m totally not kidding that’s basically what the doctor said, but in more scientific terms.
So at first I thought that was pretty interesting. Because if I ever did get married and have children, I would only want one son. So if there was a way to make that possible for sure, instead of just trying and hoping for a boy I thought I would have no problem.
But then after hearing my parent’s opinion on these kids that are basically built in a lab I thought it was a little strange. Using science to engineer the perfect babies? That does sound a little farfetched and unsafe. What if you do get twin boys, but then they have missing toes and arms and shit?
And then I thought, science has come such a long way, now we can give our sperm and eggs to some other bitch and have her carry the baby for us. So why is this so strange? Also, people take risks of their kids coming out with down syndrome or whatever every time they get pregnant, so I don’t think that by involving science the risk would increase.
It’s a totally strange topic, and for once I don’t know which side of the fence I’m standing on. Are we in favor of genetically modified babies? Or do we like our rugrats the old fashioned way?
Monday, June 13, 2011
It's coming.....
We all dread it…it happens to all of us…one minute we’re in a casual dating situation and having fun…with the new conversations, dates, friends, sex… but the longer the relationship goes on for, the more serious it is bound to get…you can’t help it, it just happens…one day you are just rolling around the sack with your “boyfriend” and the next thing you know BAMMMM it’s time to meet the parents. Literally.
Once when I was at my boyfriends house (who used to live in the basement of his parents house) I woke up alone in his bed to his father telling me I had to move because renovators were coming in the basement. I’m just glad I happened to be wearing clothes that night.
But forget about how awkward that meeting was, I want to think about how awkward it is for the other person. Like how awkward is it for you when you’re introducing your significant other to your parents? Wondering is that a fake smile my dad has or a genuine smile? Is my grandfather offering him a drink because he wants to drink together or because he wants to see if he’s going to drink and drive? Does your aunt really thing his profession is noble, or is she just waiting for him to turn around to tell you how he will never make a decent living in the market? Those are all the questions that went through my mind yesterday at my sister’s Christening. Because letting him meet my parents and grandparents was one huge step already, but meeting the entire Curtiss Clan was overwhelming…not only for him but for me.
I was constantly worrying about how everything we did would look to my family, I didn’t want to be too touchy feely because I didn’t want them to know we were having sex. But I didn’t want to not touch at all because I didn’t want people to think we had a bad relationship or were in a fight. I didn’t want to give him a tour of the house because I didn’t want people to think we sneaking off to be alone together. I didn’t want him to go to his car because I didn’t want my family to know that he’s a smoker (and I didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette without me.) I didn’t even want to leave with him because I didn’t want everyone knowing I was going back to his house for the night.
All of my worries were put to rest. My grandfather offered him a beer minutes after he walked through the door and talked to him for hours, not grilling him, but having legitimate conversations about politics and the economy. (This is probably the first boyfriend I’ve ever had that could hold an intelligent conversation with my family) My father came over to where we were sitting and said, “I wanted to let you know that I like you, we all like you, and we’re glad that you can make Erica happy. If your work schedule permitted it would you want to come to Puerto Rico for the week of August 15 with us? Tickets are no problem.”
WTF??? I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my dad’s offering him free trips out of the country? He has never invited my best friends on a trip with us!
If that wasn’t weird enough, I go to the bathroom for a minute and I’m rushing because I don’t want to leave him alone with my family and let them tear him apart…I return to see my boyfriend, grandfather and cousin taking shots together. My grandfather never offers me a drink!
Then my god mother who I respect so much and truly value her opinion told me she thought she was cute and that he had a good steady job and she’s happy for me. My grandmother told me he’s the first guy she ever thought was good enough for me.
After the christening I stopped at my mom’s place. My mom was going to be a little more difficult to accept Mike (even though she has already met him and confirmed that she liked him) because she didn’t have the best impressions of him. When she first met him after dropping me at his house he was high (I doubt she knew though) the second time she met him at a cancer benefit my sorority held on campus he had been drinking before (she smelt the liquor on him immediately) and every fight we have ever had I told my mom every detail about, so she’s a little bias. But last night the two of them bonded over embarrassing photos of my childhood and a friendly rivalry over the Heat vs. Mavericks play off basketball game.
Maybe the dreaded meeting the parents isn’t the huge ordeal we build it up to be in our heads. As much as we hate to hear it parents were our age once, and as much as I hate to admit it, they’re not all clueless. Well at least mine aren’t. Sucks to not be me!
Once when I was at my boyfriends house (who used to live in the basement of his parents house) I woke up alone in his bed to his father telling me I had to move because renovators were coming in the basement. I’m just glad I happened to be wearing clothes that night.
But forget about how awkward that meeting was, I want to think about how awkward it is for the other person. Like how awkward is it for you when you’re introducing your significant other to your parents? Wondering is that a fake smile my dad has or a genuine smile? Is my grandfather offering him a drink because he wants to drink together or because he wants to see if he’s going to drink and drive? Does your aunt really thing his profession is noble, or is she just waiting for him to turn around to tell you how he will never make a decent living in the market? Those are all the questions that went through my mind yesterday at my sister’s Christening. Because letting him meet my parents and grandparents was one huge step already, but meeting the entire Curtiss Clan was overwhelming…not only for him but for me.
I was constantly worrying about how everything we did would look to my family, I didn’t want to be too touchy feely because I didn’t want them to know we were having sex. But I didn’t want to not touch at all because I didn’t want people to think we had a bad relationship or were in a fight. I didn’t want to give him a tour of the house because I didn’t want people to think we sneaking off to be alone together. I didn’t want him to go to his car because I didn’t want my family to know that he’s a smoker (and I didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette without me.) I didn’t even want to leave with him because I didn’t want everyone knowing I was going back to his house for the night.
All of my worries were put to rest. My grandfather offered him a beer minutes after he walked through the door and talked to him for hours, not grilling him, but having legitimate conversations about politics and the economy. (This is probably the first boyfriend I’ve ever had that could hold an intelligent conversation with my family) My father came over to where we were sitting and said, “I wanted to let you know that I like you, we all like you, and we’re glad that you can make Erica happy. If your work schedule permitted it would you want to come to Puerto Rico for the week of August 15 with us? Tickets are no problem.”
WTF??? I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my dad’s offering him free trips out of the country? He has never invited my best friends on a trip with us!
If that wasn’t weird enough, I go to the bathroom for a minute and I’m rushing because I don’t want to leave him alone with my family and let them tear him apart…I return to see my boyfriend, grandfather and cousin taking shots together. My grandfather never offers me a drink!
Then my god mother who I respect so much and truly value her opinion told me she thought she was cute and that he had a good steady job and she’s happy for me. My grandmother told me he’s the first guy she ever thought was good enough for me.
After the christening I stopped at my mom’s place. My mom was going to be a little more difficult to accept Mike (even though she has already met him and confirmed that she liked him) because she didn’t have the best impressions of him. When she first met him after dropping me at his house he was high (I doubt she knew though) the second time she met him at a cancer benefit my sorority held on campus he had been drinking before (she smelt the liquor on him immediately) and every fight we have ever had I told my mom every detail about, so she’s a little bias. But last night the two of them bonded over embarrassing photos of my childhood and a friendly rivalry over the Heat vs. Mavericks play off basketball game.
Maybe the dreaded meeting the parents isn’t the huge ordeal we build it up to be in our heads. As much as we hate to hear it parents were our age once, and as much as I hate to admit it, they’re not all clueless. Well at least mine aren’t. Sucks to not be me!
FUCK QUEENS
There are a million and one things that I could despise about working in queens. For example, the hours of traffic I sit in twice a day to get to work and home from work. Or the tumultuous pot holes I hit on every street. But nothing is more inconvenient than the lack of parking. I don’t understand how businesses can get away with not offering parking spaces for their customers and clients.
It is the parking issue that I am going to rant about today. It’s bad enough that in order to shop (aka work) as a reporter in Queens I have to drive my car all over the borough and then hope that I find a miraculous parking without a meter. However, doomsday finally happened last Tuesday and I was forced to park at a meter spot. I think it is ridiculous and unconstitutional that first of all Starbucks doesn’t have a parking lot, but second of all you expect me to pay to park my car on a random street. What service am I receiving for my money? Is someone protecting my car from hooligans? Is someone going to paint over the scratches on my car? Is someone going to vacuum all the crumbs out of my car? NO! So what I am paying for is the right to park my car on a public street? Oh okay I totally get it now.
But then after I park, pay, and place my receipt on the dash board that says I have 2 hours to reside in this parking spot, I return 1 hour later to find a ticket on my windshield. A ticket for not putting my receipt the exact way for the ticketing officer to read it. Now I’ll admit, I’m not savvy to the art of placing a piece of paper on a dashboard. Partially because I don’t drive that often (or I didn’t before my new job) but mostly because in Long Island (where everything makes sense) I am not forced to pay to park my car on the side of road.
What really irks me about this situation is that I put my receipt on the dash at 11:45 a.m. and the ticket was issued to me at 11:52 a.m. which means ticket cop saw me purchase a receipt, saw me put the ticket on the dashboard in a way he wouldn’t like, waited for me to leave and then GAVE ME A FUCKIN TICKET!!!!! What the fuck kind of world are we living in?
First you limit any parking spaces, then any available space must be paid for and even when you put $2 in quarters in the machine you get a $38 ticket anyway.
FUCK YOU QUEENS
It is the parking issue that I am going to rant about today. It’s bad enough that in order to shop (aka work) as a reporter in Queens I have to drive my car all over the borough and then hope that I find a miraculous parking without a meter. However, doomsday finally happened last Tuesday and I was forced to park at a meter spot. I think it is ridiculous and unconstitutional that first of all Starbucks doesn’t have a parking lot, but second of all you expect me to pay to park my car on a random street. What service am I receiving for my money? Is someone protecting my car from hooligans? Is someone going to paint over the scratches on my car? Is someone going to vacuum all the crumbs out of my car? NO! So what I am paying for is the right to park my car on a public street? Oh okay I totally get it now.
But then after I park, pay, and place my receipt on the dash board that says I have 2 hours to reside in this parking spot, I return 1 hour later to find a ticket on my windshield. A ticket for not putting my receipt the exact way for the ticketing officer to read it. Now I’ll admit, I’m not savvy to the art of placing a piece of paper on a dashboard. Partially because I don’t drive that often (or I didn’t before my new job) but mostly because in Long Island (where everything makes sense) I am not forced to pay to park my car on the side of road.
What really irks me about this situation is that I put my receipt on the dash at 11:45 a.m. and the ticket was issued to me at 11:52 a.m. which means ticket cop saw me purchase a receipt, saw me put the ticket on the dashboard in a way he wouldn’t like, waited for me to leave and then GAVE ME A FUCKIN TICKET!!!!! What the fuck kind of world are we living in?
First you limit any parking spaces, then any available space must be paid for and even when you put $2 in quarters in the machine you get a $38 ticket anyway.
FUCK YOU QUEENS
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